


Burning Embers

by stacy_l



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Adult Content, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Dark, Angst, Assault, Captivity, Dark, Disturbing Themes, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, Humiliation, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Non-Consensual, Physical Abuse, Sexual Slavery, Sexual Tension, Slavery, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-02
Updated: 2015-08-05
Packaged: 2018-04-02 10:43:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 78,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4057045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stacy_l/pseuds/stacy_l
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Following his heart places Jack O’Neill on the precipice of imminent danger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mysterious Stranger

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted in January 2010.
> 
> AUTHOR’S NOTES: This story contains many scenes that may be disturbing to some readers due to some of the issues covered within so read at your own risk. The story also contains a Daniel Jackson that is far different than the one we see on the series, so be prepared and remember that this is an Alternate Universe story. 
> 
> This story contains multiple references to various aspects of Hindu mythology and religion throughout its context. The backdrop of the story revolves around the Hindu afterworlds spanning from the realm of Naraka (hell) to the realm of Svarga (Heaven) and draws heavily on the mythology surrounding Dakshinasapati. I researched Hindu mythology and the Hindu religion thoroughly but due to the nature of the story there may be contained within some inaccuracies. 
> 
> This story contains multiple references to various aspects of the Gorean lifestyle throughout its context. The slave positions and commands used in this story were drawn directly from the Gorean literature. Most commonly in Gor it is women who are kept as slaves and not men. The only difference in this particular story is that the slave is male instead of female and is also being kept by a male (in Gor a male pleasure slave is usually kept by a free woman while a female pleasure slave is kept by a free man). 
> 
> I do hope you enjoy reading the story as much as I enjoyed writing it!

_Fear is a potent weapon that when wielded correctly can tame even the most difficult and challenging of opponents. It can tame the wildest of creatures and turn monsters into pets or pets into monsters, which outcome arises depends on the will and resistance of the one being trained._

_Fear when used correctly can take root manifesting itself into the deepest darkest terror ever known to man, and it was a weapon he would often use on me. Why? Because he knew how powerful fear was, and how easily it could control one too young to comprehend just what it was._

_Fear was one of his weapons of choice, a weapon he thrived on, a weapon he loved to use whenever I would fight him._

_My first real taste of fear was when I found myself all alone after my parents were killed. My second taste of true fear was when I was stolen away and sold to a man whom I would eventually be forced to call ‘master’. He became the epitome of fear to me, and soon I learned to respect him and be in awe of him. If I failed in doing so I would suffer._

_He would often find new and creative ways to torment me when I failed to please him or dared to disobey him. At first I would test him, call it foolishness or stupidity on my part, but I would test him and always, always he taught me the consequences for such actions. I will never forget the strict training regime he put me through to learn my place, my status, to learn what I truly am to him, what I truly am in this world, for his lessons were very harsh and very memorable. They were lessons that will be forever ingrained in my mind._

* * * *

**P7K-6D6: THE PLANET OF YAMAPURA**

**Mysterious Stranger**

The music began slowly at first, eerie, beautiful, quiet…the solitary form on the stage was illuminated by a soft white light and began to dance. He danced slowly, rhythmically moving his body in gentle sways to and fro as he rocked to the calming beat. He was beautiful and every inch man, his body was outlined on the curtain: buff, muscular, lithe and sinewy and he continued to rock, swaying with the erotic beat. 

As the first shift in chords began the curtains drew slowly apart and the man was backlit his arms both outstretched above his body, his head back eyes closed as he continued to sway to the beat. As the soft chanting in the song began so did the man begin to move with the song gliding ever so softly, ever so quietly across the stage in slow sweeping steps his hips still swaying gently with the beat, back and forth alluring, hypnotic, casting the room into utter silence as all eyes became fixed on him and him alone. 

He shifted in his seat his mouth watering as the man approached a single pole in the center of the stage before wrapping his fingers ever so lightly around it, grasping it and thrusting against it as if in utter need and yearning. He thrust his powerful hips again before beginning to dance slowly around it using the pole as if it were a partner he was trying to deliberately entice and seduce. 

He was amazing, beautiful, erotic… He glided so swiftly across the stage, moving with the grace of a ballet dancer always in motion, his every move hauntingly provocative. As the musical beat increased so did the movement of those hips and that body as he flung himself backwards still gripping the pole tightly before arching into it. One bare foot gliding ever so slowly up and down the length of the pole as the man pressed his groin firmly against it before again leaning back gripping the pole as he turned himself ever so slowly beginning to grind his ass against it as he gyrated his hips faster and faster. 

As he continued to dance Jack O’Neill became aware of one thing and one thing only: he was determined to speak with the man again, and he would not be dissuaded in his pursuit. 

When the dance ended Jack quickly made his way backstage stopping the beautiful dancer as he exited stage right, and smiling as the man almost ran into him. The man jerked his head up and quickly muttered, “Jack but…I thought I told you to…” 

“Stay away from you? Yes you did, but I can’t seem to do that, Daniel.” 

“Jack…” 

“Yes Daniel?” 

The man shook his head halting his response before it slipped out. Jack didn’t need to know more than he already did. In fact, Jack O’Neill already knew too much and was taking way too many risks to speak with him. Shaking his head he chose his next words carefully, “You don’t want to enter my world, Jack. It’s a very dangerous place.” 

“I find that a little hard to believe.” 

“Well perhaps you should believe it.” 

“Why?” 

“Because it’s a place where freedom doesn’t exist and slavery is a way of life, Jack.” 

Jack was about to respond but fell silent as he saw the man Daniel always seemed to be with standing off to the left as if he were awaiting Daniel. The man confused him and he wasn’t sure what to make of him. Was he a body guard, a friend or a close acquaintance of Daniel’s? 

Returning his gaze to Daniel he noticed the man glance off to his left before quickly down casting his eyes. He then lifted his head licking his lips nervously before again warning, “You don’t want to come into my world, Jack. You’d get lost in it. Stay away, Jack, stay away…from me, from him, from the world I live in. It will destroy you, Jack. It will destroy you.” 

With that he turned and rapidly headed for the door halting when the man called his name again. He didn’t turn only stood knowing he should run before it was too late but unable to make his feet obey the command, “Wait. Would you just wait a minute, please?” 

“I don’t have a minute, Jack.” 

Hesitating he licked his lips before stumbling over his words and managing, “When can I see you again?” 

“You can’t.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because you can’t afford me…” 

“What?” 

“Good bye Jack.” 

With that he quickly made his escape approaching the man who stood at the door patiently waiting for him swallowing hard as he became aware that he probably incited more questions from Jack, made him more curious instead of less and that meant… 

Damn. 

Jack would continue to pursue him. Damn! 

* * * * * *

**PATH OF THE MANES**   
**Guided by the Yama-Dutas**

Several weeks later… 

It was time for him to leave and return to the one waiting for him. Shaking his head he quickly set out on his journey. Once home he climbed the steps and quickly entered. Upon arrival he was seized by guards and escorted none too gently into the room of the one awaiting him. He was then ordered to disrobe and quickly complied before handing his clothes over and dismissing the guards. They both bowed before excusing themselves. As they left the room he squeezed his eyes tightly shut upon hearing the overly loud click that announced to him that they also secured the door behind him. He was trapped. Now all he could do was await the arrival of the one wishing to speak with him. 

As the door quietly opened he tensed swallowing hard before ordering himself to calm and relax. Listening as his visitor approached he tensed upon feeling a familiar roughened hand brush across his left shoulder before moving to trace the mark there. He wanted to fight, to resist but as soon as those fingers began to trace the mark he felt himself growing hard. He arched as the man whispered, “I see you still bear my mark, pretty pet.” 

He bit into his bottom lip moaning as the leash attached to the collar he now wore was tugged on and as the collar pressed firmly against his throat adding uncomfortable pressure to his windpipe he felt as if he were about to explode. As the gentle command to heel was whispered in his ear he dutifully obeyed momentarily forgetting that he was here against his will having been stripped before locked in the room to await his true master. 

He waited for his next command automatically responding to the one who spoke to him, “Did you miss me? Speak.” 

“Yes Master.” 

A yank on his leash had him automatically correcting himself, “My Master, yes My Master.” 

“Good and did you accomplish your mission, pretty pet?” 

“My Master, yes My Master.” 

“He will come for you, will he not?” 

“My Master, yes My Master.” 

He felt a pat on his head as he was told that he was a good pet. His master then softly whispered, “Down, pretty pet, down.” 

He complied and his master smiled before saying, “You please me so, pet. You please me so very much, but I fear you will have to spend the night in your cage for daring to resist my men.” 

He whimpered arching as a moist finger, obviously made wet by his master’s mouth, began to gently stroke across his opening making him nearly purr in bliss. He soon began to moan and gently thrust against the mattress he now lay upon as each stroke triggered pleasure in his every nerve. He gently thrust again and again as his master freely stroked him feeling his pleasure only increase as his master chuckled before repeating, “Yes, you’re a very good pet.” 

“My Master, thank you, My Master.” 

“Narayana?” 

The door opened to admit one of the guards and his master briskly ordered, “Escort my pet to his cage. I will come for him in the morning.” 

“Yes My Lord.” 

As his lead was given to Narayana he dutifully rose from the bed before lowering to the floor and crawled behind his keeper to his cage, willingly entering it before settling down for the night. 

Narayana lowered before him cupping his face tenderly as he questioned, “Are you all right? He did not harm you?” 

“No. No. I’m…all right.” 

“But you do not wish to be here.” 

“I have no choice.” 

Narayana nodded before saying, “I will watch him. He will come, of that I am certain and I will keep him safe for you. I promise I shall keep him safe.” 

“Thank you.” 

“You are quite welcome, and now you must rest. Sleep, sleep for me.” 

He smiled softly before nodding and answering, “Good night, Narayana.” 

“And good night to you.” 

Narayana watched as he settled for the night and closed his eyes. He could only shake his head as sleep soon overtook the man still not able to comprehend how he could fall asleep in a cage when his master required it of him and saddened greatly as the unfairness of his life again impacted him full force. 

* * * *

**CROSSING THE VAITARANI**   
**Beyond the Lokaloka Mountains**

He returned each night to the nightclub searching for the man of his dreams, awaiting his act and meeting him off stage right ignoring the one who always watched them from afar. Each night he became more and more fascinated with the young dancer and desired to get to know him better. Each night he’d ask him out, but the man would always respond with a warning for him to stay away, to stay out of his world. _His world_ , whatever that was. He knew he should stop his pursuit, but each night he saw the man he desired to get to know him better. He had even stopped hanging out with his teammates as they continued to work out an agreement and treaty with the citizens of this world and chose to return to the club in hopes that he’d get a glimpse of the man and have a few moments to speak with him. He had danced every night for the last three months and now? Now he was no where. Now he was gone. It was as if he had just…disappeared, and he found that he wanted nothing more than to locate the man and speak with him again, to see him again. 

Irritated by the owner’s constant refusal to answer any and all of his questions regarding the beautiful dancer he found his anger building and after several nights of repeatedly hitting a brick wall with his inquiries he found himself demanding in a voice none to calm, “Where is he?” and again the owner of the club only shook his head. As he practically shouted the question for what must be the hundredth time the owner finally snapped back, “He’s gone! He’s returned to his home!” 

“And where exactly is that?” 

“Far from here.” 

“Will he be back?” 

“Hard to say, he could be back in a few weeks but I don’t see it happening.” 

“Why?” 

“His job is done. He’s no longer needed here.” 

“You fired him?” 

“No. No, I had no say in that decision, no. He was here for a job and he did what was expected of him. Now that it’s completed he returned to his home.” 

“Will he ever come back here?” 

The man offered a weak smile before answering, “If he does it won’t be for awhile and it will only be at the discretion of the one he’s with.” 

“And who is he with?” 

“The one he’s always with, of course.” 

“You mean the one he always leaves here with?” 

“No, no. Not him though he’s there too. He watches him, guards him if you would.” 

“Guards him? From what?” 

“Look Mister you should really take his advice.” 

“And what advice is that?” 

“He told you to let him go, to not pursue him. It would be in your best interest if you did as he has told you. Trust me on this. You don’t want to get involved with him.” 

“I already am!” 

“You barely know him, and you’re willing to track him?” 

“Yes.” 

“Why?” 

“Because…” 

“Ah don’t tell me it’s because you fell for him. You did, didn’t you? Look, Mister, take my advice and don’t go after him. It’ll save you a whole hell of a lot of heartache in the end. He’s not up for grabs. He’s spoken for. Stay away from him and you’ll be fine. Go after him and you’re liable not to return. Many are never seen again. He told you to forget him so I’d suggest that’s exactly what you do. _Forget him._ ” 

“I can’t.” 

“You’re not even from around here. You came through the chap’pai. You know nothing of this place, of our world. You’d be best to listen to those of us who have lived here all our lives. When we say stay away from him. We mean it. He’ll only lead you to heartache and pain. Not intentionally mind you, but the boy has no control over what he does, what he’s made to do.” 

“What he’s _made_ to do? What the hell is that supposed to mean?” 

Shaking his head he answered, “I’ve said too much already. My advice is to leave this place, leave this world and forget about us, forget about him, forget everything. You’ll be a hell of a lot safer in the end. Trust me will ya? Trust me and trust him. He said stay away, he means stay away.” 

Of course he was a stubborn son of a bitch and even though he repeatedly replayed the same conversation over and over in his head and knew it was a warning to not pursue the man he desired above all others he found that his heart just wouldn’t let him forget so he pushed all those warnings out of his mind and prepared to embark on a journey to locate the one man in the universe who he cared for way more than he should. When he told his team to return without him his 2IC was first to order him to halt in his plans. She was furious and was quick to voice her disagreement with, “Sir, you’re not going after him are you?” 

Without looking at her he grabbed his rucksack and headed towards the door. Instead of accepting his decision she spoke up, “Colonel, I’ve been talking to the locals and they all say to leave him go, to forget him… He’s dangerous, Jack.” 

“Like hell he is!” 

“They say that he’s not free. They say he’s owned by a man named Mara. They say he’s one of this Mara’s pleasure pets. They say that he does the man’s bidding without question, Jack. The villagers they all say that Mara commonly sets traps for those he desires to conquer and claim and he’s the bait.” 

“Mara? Who the hell is Mara?” 

“The lord of this land, sir, he’s the ruler of this world. They say he possesses magical powers…powers that are very indicative of him being a Goa’uld, sir, and he serves him in his most intimate circle. Please tell me you’re not seriously considering going after him.” 

“Well I am.” 

Drawing in a calming breath she firmly stated, “Colonel he’s marked.” 

That drew Jack’s head up and as he focused on her she shifted nervously awaiting his response. After several moments he questioned, “What?” 

“He bears Mara’s mark on his left shoulder. He obeys Mara. He BELONGS to Mara. He was sent to entrap you, sir, and you’re falling right into it.” 

“No I’m getting him the hell out of there.” 

Shaking her head she continued hating to tell him what he needed to hear but knowing she had no other choice, “He’s sworn allegiance to Mara. He’s a pleasure pet, sir. They kiss the ground their master walks on. Mara…he treats them as animals and they follow him anywhere. He isn’t even addressed as Daniel there. His name is Sarameya, Colonel.” 

“And…” 

And? AND? She shook her head aware that Jack just was not listening so she tried harder, “ _And_ his name? It’s the name given to one of Mara’s messengers. In the mythology Mara had two dogs whose roles were to guard and to act as messengers to dying souls, sir. He…Daniel serves as Mara’s faithful dog Sarameya.” 

“Right…” 

“Sir…” 

“Look, Carter, I understand your concerns. I really do, but I’m going after him regardless of what you tell me. Now I want you and your team to go home. I don’t want the rest of you to be endangered on this mission…” 

“Mission, sir? We were told to explore and if we found technology to negotiate for a treaty not to chase after some exotic dancer you desire.” 

“That’s enough, Carter! You have your orders. Now go.” 

“And the General, sir, what do we tell him?” 

Pausing briefly he shook his head before answering, “I don’t know, Carter, but what I do know is that if I let him go I may be giving up my only chance at true happiness and I’m not sure I can do that, Carter, so please do as I say and don’t question why. Please?” 

She opened her mouth, then closed it, then opened it again searching for words and unable to find any before opting simply to nod her head knowing that she was sending him into a trap set up for him and possibly to his death, but also knowing that the Colonel was more serious about this Daniel than she had ever realized. 

* * * *

**RECEIVED BY VAIDHYATA**  
 **The Palace of Kalachi**

After haggling the club owner more Jack was given a location of the dancer. He was told that the man lived with their ruler and that he would be impossible to get to. If he were to undertake his pursuit he would be walking into a danger he would be unlikely to return from. Thanking the man for the information he provided he headed off on his own not sure of what to expect and taken completely by surprise when he slowly approached the gates leading onto the property where the dancer supposedly lived. He was determined to be cautious and find a different way in then through the front door, but he didn’t even make it to the gate before he was apprehended by several guards who joyfully announced, “Ah you must be Colonel…O’Neill is it? Perfect you are just on time. We have been expecting you.” 

“What?” 

“Our lord has been expecting you. It would seem that Sarameya was successful in yet another mission.” 

Confused he spoke without thinking, “Another mission?” 

“Yes, his mission was to seduce you, to lure you to our lord and he has again succeeded. He never fails to lure them all here and all now serve their lord diligently. Sarameya has been very successful in entrapping many an enemy and a spy. He has also been successful in trapping those our lord desires to possess and own. Our lord will be pleased. You are a fine specimen as he had hoped. Yes he will be very pleased.” 

He was then physically escorted by the two guards into a throne room that he was very certain belonged to Mara, the man Carter had tried to warn him of. As he was led before a presently empty throne he recognized the man who stood off to the left of it noting he was the man who always awaited Daniel after his performances. Shaking his head he recalled what the guards had just told him out front. It had been a trap, all of it, just like Carter had said and he foolishly waltzed right into it. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have allowed himself to fall for a blue eyed vixen with a heart of stone? How could he have been so wrong? Hanging his head he felt the coldness encircle his heart. He had come here thinking he was pursuing a man he loved only to find that the man he had fallen so quickly for was evil and cruel. Fate was so unfair and he was its latest victim. 

He looked up as a man who must be Mara entered the room before settling on his throne and handing a leash to a guard before ordering, “Syama, heel.” 

Jack watched as Daniel _crawled_ in front of Mara’s throne before settling on his knees before him. The leash Mara had held in his hand moments before was connected to a collar that fit perfectly around Daniel’s neck and the man seemed very comfortable wearing it. Shaking his head he watched as the beautiful dancer spread his legs wide as he bowed his head in a show of submission. He wore a translucent red silk outfit that barely covered him or his assets, for it hung loosely over each broad shoulder before falling like a curtain down over each arm to pool on either side of his spread thighs. His chest and cock were fully exposed to all who gazed upon him. The color Jack had learned from the villagers marked the man as a pleasure slave, one who could be purchased for the evening if his master desired to rent him out. Jack found his hands itching to produce the money it would cost to spend a night with the beautiful bitch and felt his fingers tingle as he envisioned bringing his hand down across those beautiful thighs hard enough to mark and induce pain. 

He had been a fool falling for a man who was as beautiful as he was sinister. He would never have suspected that a man who had seemed to possess such a gentle nature could be so cruel as to entrap another at a master’s command. He should have never been so trustful. He was a fool, and now he was an imprisoned fool. The slave would suffer for his lies and deceit. Oh how he would suffer. 

Mara began to talk but Jack heard little of what he had said instead choosing to watch the betraying bitch who sat on his knees like a good little doggy. He held his head lower, but whether that was because he was ashamed of what he had done or out of respect for his master he wasn’t certain. He suspected it was the latter. 

As he was ordered to rise he shook his head casting an icy glare at the pathetic slave who bowed before him, and as he was escorted to the dungeons by two guards he started to think of how he would escape and how the bitch would pay for his betrayal. 

* *

As he had entered the room and caught a glimpse of their visitor he felt his heart breaking. The visitor was the man who had spent many a night pursuing him. The visitor was the man his master had ordered him to entrap and lure here. He had warned the man not to journey into his world but apparently the stubborn Colonel didn’t listen to warnings or take them very seriously. If he had he wouldn’t be here right now. 

From the moment he entered the room he had felt Jack’s eyes on him and was certain the man now hated him…and why wouldn’t he? He had just discovered that the reason for his capture was that he was set up by Mara’s faithful servant. He felt disgusted and dirty for what he had been made to do to the man now no doubt gazing at him in pure hatred. He’d never be seen as anything more than a liar and a manipulator to Jack, and he felt the loss of the man’s respect drive a stake in his heart. He had had no choice but to obey and had been determined to do so without question certain the man was evil, as his master had said, only to discover the man was nice and kind. He had been sent to him so long ago, or so it seemed and had never planned to become the least bit connected to the man in any way. He had been determined to treat Jack as any other client his master ordered him to please. He had been determined to remain cold and distant, aloof and instead had fallen and fallen hard for the man who seemed to treat him with infinite kindness and concern, a man who actually _cared_ and showed it, and then he had to betray him. It was his master’s command. If he had refused he would have been executed immediately or something far worse than that. He had had no choice, had he chose to betray, to disappear his master would have found him and punished him. He had had no choice and in the span of a heartbeat he had lost Jack’s respect and concern, and he felt very ashamed. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut as they burned threatening to reveal how he hurt inside. He couldn’t allow them to see that, especially Mara. 

As Mara had ordered Jack to be taken to the dungeons Daniel felt _relieved_ for he no longer felt the piercing gaze that Jack had now fixed on him or the tension and hatred he was certain now came off of Jack in waves. Hostility and rage…he didn’t like it and felt rather uneasy about it, uneasy and so very afraid. 

His master interrupted his train of thought with, “He intrigues you, does he not?” 

“My Master, yes My Master.” 

Silence fell for several moments between them before Mara added, “Sarameya, you may visit with him if you so choose. I will permit you that much.” 

“My Master, thank you, My Master.” 

“I am very pleased with you, Sarameya. You have done very well this day.” 

Clenching his eyes shut tighter he softly answered, “My Master, thank you, My Master,” and felt the knife in his heart twist even deeper. 

* * * *

**AWAITING CHITAGUPTA**

Entering the dungeons Narayana approached the prisoner and offered him food saying, “I brought you some food. Daniel said that you would probably be hungry.” 

“Take it back and tell that conniving bitch that I want nothing from him.” 

Narayana flinched and nodded, still leaving the tray before turning and pausing debating only a moment before saying, “Do not be so hard on him. He has no choice but to serve. You were his hope for a better life, but he now tells me he deserves to be treated as his master sees fit…it is punishment to himself.” 

“What?” 

“He is punishing himself for something he could not control. Daniel lives a very difficult life and you were the first to inspire him, to breathe hope into him. You were the first to CARE and now he is certain he has lost even that.” 

With that said Narayana left. 

Jack glared at the full tray of food determined not to touch anything on it. He wouldn’t accept anything from the conniving bitch. Hell, the food was probably tainted anyway. The bastard probably got his kicks out of drugging the food or some twisted shit like that, and he wasn’t about to fall for another of the bastard’s lies. No. Instead he’d spend his time weighing his options, figuring out how to escape and how to make the slave suffer for his betrayal. Anger and hatred was all he had at the moment and that was what would keep him going. 

* * * *

Several hours later Daniel arrived being led by Narayana. Once to the dungeon Narayana told him he could rise and would wait. Daniel thanked him before approaching Jack. 

The first words out of Jack’s mouth were, “Aren’t you supposed to be on all fours Sarameya?” 

He drew in a hissing breath before speaking, “Sam told you then…” 

“That you’re a guardian bitch who serves as his messenger? Yeah she told me.” 

“Jack…” 

“Don’t.” 

Silence fell between them for several long moments before Daniel spoke, “Narayana told me that you aren’t eating.” 

“Yeah, guess I’m waiting for my messenger to guide my dying soul.” 

“Jack please. I have no choice.” 

“Why did you tell me your name was Daniel? That’s an insult you know. It means…” 

“God is my judge.” 

“Yes and you’re so far from…” 

“Daniel is the name I was given at birth, Jack. Syama is the name Mara addresses me by.” 

“Thought it was Sarameya…” 

“Same thing, different spelling.” 

“What does it mean? Betraying bitch?” 

He flinched before answering, “No it means the heavenly hound. It came from India. Mara set himself up as the Hindu god Yama, or rather he has the symbiote Yama in him.” 

“And you serve him as his bitch.” 

He flinched again before managing, “Unfortunately yes. I have tried to escape, but he has an army that worships the ground he walks on and when I attempt such a feat I not only have to face his wrath but that of his army. The last time I ran I was forced to walk a gauntlet and nearly died as a result. The respect I now receive? It’s from having survived the gauntlet and being able to walk away. Most people don’t survive. I was lucky and since I showed strength in defeat Mara honored me with the name Syama.” 

“What was your name before that? Bitch?” 

“Pretty close. The first thing taken from me upon capture was my name, and I’m ashamed to admit it but after serving so long I did forget who I was. I forgot my name and nearly lost myself.” 

“But?” 

“Narayana was watching over me.” 

“Ah yes Nirvana…” 

“Narayana. Also Hindu.” 

“And what does his name mean: caretaker of bitches?” 

“Hmm no. Narayana means protector of man. His name is another name for the Hindu god Vishnu.” 

“Vishnu, uh? Study Hindu do you?” 

“I’m a culture buff, an archeologist, a scientist and a historian all rolled into one, yes.” 

“Hmm and you serve as his pet?” 

“I have no choice in the matter.” 

“Oh right, captured was it?” 

“Unfortunately yes Jack.” 

“Hmm I don’t believe you.” 

“I know,” came the sad quiet reply. 

Jack felt like an ass and decided to back up his words with, “You wear his mark.” 

Again the room filled with Daniel’s quiet sad voice as he answered, “I know that too.” 

“Why? Why do you wear his mark?” 

“Escaped slave. I ran from him, so he decided to mark me. As soon as that brand is recognized I’m returned to him.” 

“Brand?” 

“Yes.” 

“Thought it was a tattoo?” 

“No it’s a brand, burned into my skin, Jack, punishment from him for daring to defy him.” 

“What is it?” 

“A vulture.” 

“And why is it a…?” 

“It’s his symbol.” 

“A vulture is his symbol? Why a _vulture_?” 

“Because in Hindu mythology Mara personifies evil and death. He’s the same as the death demon Mtryu who’s a messenger of Yama…” 

“Yama?” 

“The king of the dead, Jack.” 

“And you serve him?” 

“Yes.” 

“Why?” 

“I already told you…” 

“You have no choice. Bullshit. You’re a seducer, a whore for him.” 

“No I’m not.” 

“Tell me you weren’t sent to entrap me. Tell me that _Daniel_.” 

Daniel hung his head before answering, “I also tried to protect you, but you don’t seem to have noticed. I warned you of his plans and you came anyway.” 

“You never warned me of anything.” 

“Did you listen to Sam?” 

“What?” 

“Did you _listen_ to Sam?” 

Jack looked at him dumbfounded prompting Daniel to answer his own inquiry, “No you didn’t. Perhaps if you had then you wouldn’t be here. I took a big risk to forewarn you. Technically I nearly forfeited my own life to do so, but you don’t even know it. Do you Jack?” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“Nothing. Forget it. I’ll leave you alone.” 

He watched the man turn abruptly from him before exiting the dungeons. He stared at that door for what seemed like hours before Narayana returned. He debated for several moments about speaking with the man and when asked if he needed anything quickly answered with, “He said that he nearly forfeited his own life to warn me. What did he mean by that?” 

Narayana focused intently on the prisoner knowing he was asking about Daniel. He paused for a moment before answering, “If he had been caught he would have been executed. A slave performs without question. They feel nothing. They do nothing without their master’s consent. Their only duty, their only right, is to obey their master without question. He chose to break such rules to forewarn you of his master’s plans. Had his actions been discovered…he would have been executed immediately.” 

“He would have…” 

“Yes. He chose to take the risk, yet still you treat him with dishonor and disrespect. Why do you treat him so poorly?” 

“He betrayed me.” 

“He _warned_ you.” 

“He… I… I don’t know what to think.” 

“You do not understand what life as a slave entails. You do not understand what it means to BE a slave. You believe that he is _free_. He has not been free for many years. His life has not been his own for many years.” 

Nodding he licked his lips before inquiring further, “Narayana, can I ask you something else?” 

Narayana inclined his head prompting Jack to ask, “What exactly does Sarameya do?” 

Silence answered the inquiry before Jack continued, “I’m correct in saying he’s a…whore, right?” 

The anger that graced Narayana’s face startled Jack who quickly apologized. Narayana spoke then, “You dare to judge him and call him by _that_ name? He does not sell his body to the highest bidder. He does not entertain Mara’s army with his body. He does not sleep with multiple partners. He _belongs_ to Mara and while Mara can choose to rent him out to whomever he desires that does not make him a… You insult him by addressing him as such.” 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean any offense by it.” 

“Really? And do you use such an address where you are from?” 

“Yes.” 

“And what does it mean?” 

“Uh pretty much what you think it means.” 

“So why would you use it in reference to Daniel?” 

“I… He…” 

“And again you stumble over words.” 

“He… I mean look at how… I…” 

Narayana nodded before speaking again, “As I have said already Daniel is a slave. He is _owned_ by Mara. He is Mara’s _property_. He belongs to Mara, and he has no choice in the matter.” 

“But why would he stay? I mean who would…?” 

“Has he not already told you of his penalty should he run?” 

“Um yes but…” 

“But?” 

“I mean, that is um…” 

“You do not believe him. You believe he has a _choice_ in the life he leads. You do not realize what being a servant, a slave, what being owned by a master truly means.” 

“Tell me why should I believe anything that… _man_ tells me?” 

“Because he is telling you the truth… His life is not his own. He does not have the right to do as he pleases.” 

“He came here on his own now didn’t he?” 

“No he did not. His master has granted him permission to visit with you when he desires. Daniel does _nothing_ without his master’s consent or he suffers.” 

“He suffers.” 

“Such is the way of things.” 

Hating the man for his betrayal and swearing he didn’t give a damn about him Jack still found himself asking, “How does he suffer?” 

Narayana gazed intently at the man before him seeing his rage and anger, his hatred of Daniel so noticeable in his eyes, but he also saw an emotion that surprised him: O’Neill still cared. Shaking his head he simply replied, “I have told you too much already. I must take my leave.” 

And he quickly left as he recognized another unexpected emotion in O’Neill’s penetrating gaze: _love_.


	2. Matters of the Heart

**MATTERS OF THE HEART**

_I have told you too much already._

How many times was he going to hear those same words in reference to Daniel? Every time he questioned about the young man he would get a little bit of information, and then he’d be told that too much had been revealed to him already. Either those he spoke with were afraid of Daniel or his “owner”, or they were highly protective of him…whatever the reason he was determined to find out. 

As he sat in his cell he found himself gazing off and on in the general direction of the door aware that he was waiting for the man of his current ire to enter. Upon realizing that he was staring at that same door he cursed and jerked his gaze away feeling the anger within continue to stir. He was a fool and was a prisoner being held in a dungeon no thanks to that damned man he kept longing to see again. What the hell was wrong with him? 

Feeling disgusted with himself and the chaos that fluctuated through him anytime the beautiful dancer entered his thoughts he was unprepared for the sudden surge in his chest upon hearing the door open and seeing the man enter. His breath hitched as he gazed at him feeling several emotions that he’d rather not admit to experiencing filter in before forcing his anger and rage to again take hold. The one before him had _betrayed_ him without a second thought and here he was feeling more for him than he should. Shaking his head he forced his rage and anger to the surface sneering, “Well if it isn’t the conniving bitch returning. Come to gloat, Sarameya, or are you preparing to guide my soul to the underworld where I’ll rot no thanks to you? Oh wait let me guess you lured me here so that your _master_ could conquer me, was it?” 

“Jack, that’s not fair.” 

“What’s not fair? That I speak the truth? That you _used_ me, that you _betrayed_ me to please your ‘master’, was it?” 

“I warned you not to enter my world, Jack, and you chose to disregard the warning. I took an even greater risk in seeking Sam out and telling her of who I was, of whom I serve and what I do. I warned you not to pursue me. I warned you at great risk to my own life. I told you to stay away. I told you my world would destroy you, and it already is. Yes I betrayed you, but it wasn’t a choice for me. Had I refused him…” 

“Him?” 

“Yes my…” 

“The one you call your master?” 

“Yes. Had I refused him… I couldn’t do it, Jack. He’d know. He always knows. He would have found out. He would have found me. No matter where I run to he will always find me, Jack. Regardless of whether I want to live as I do or not I must, for no matter where I go he will find me. I’m bound to him, Jack. I’m tethered to him in a way that you couldn’t possibly understand. There is no distance great enough to separate me from him. I’m bound to him for life, Jack, for life. If I refuse him then I do so at the cost of my own life. Can you understand that, Jack? Can you comprehend that?” 

“No.” 

“Why?” 

“Because everyone has choices, everyone has freedom, everyone…” 

“I’m not everyone, Jack. I’m a slave and servant to my lord and master. I serve him and that is all I’m permitted to do. He rules me, Jack. He controls me. He…” 

“See no, no, I won’t accept that. I _can’t_ accept that.” 

Lowering his head in frustration all Daniel could think to say was, “Very well,” before he turned and left the room leaving Jack feeling like an ass for snapping at him as soon as he saw him. He hadn’t intended on doing that, but when he saw him all his anger and rage seemed to boil to the surface and he directed it all towards the unfortunate slave. _Slave?_ He shuddered at the word. Daniel, the beautiful dancer, the one who stole his heart was a slave. He found that extremely difficult to fathom and had no idea what that knowledge meant for either of them.

* *

Narayana glanced up as Daniel stormed into his room slamming the door loudly behind him. He quickly pursued Daniel first making certain there was no one lingering in the halls to hear their exchange before pushing open the door. 

As he entered the room he searched for Daniel catching a brief flurry of red silk as the man continued to march through his living quarters to the one place he always sought out when he needed solace: his balcony. Shaking his head he drew in a deep calming breath before quietly approaching. As he likewise stepped out onto the balcony he noticed Daniel’s head tilt ever so slightly to the right. He knew that he was no longer alone yet he still sat so quietly staring out across the vastness of the planet’s colorful landscape unmoving. 

He cleared his throat noting that Daniel’s only response was to haphazardly brush a stray strand of hair off his face that only continued to tease his skin as the gentle breeze continued to softly ruffle it. 

He knew, or rather suspected where Daniel had just come from and he knew what Daniel was most likely feeling. Unsure of how to breach the subject he stood silently for several moments before softly stating, “You love him, do you not?” 

Daniel glanced at Narayana for several moments before shaking his head and saying, “I don’t know, Narayana,” as silence fell between them once more Narayana waited certain that Daniel was not yet finished with what he wanted to say. He only had to wait a moment more before he was proven right and Daniel continued, “It could never work between us. Sure I find him attractive. I enjoy talking to him. I…feel more for him than I should, but it would never work between us.” 

“Why not?” 

“You know why, Narayana.” 

“Ah yes because you are owned by Mara.” 

“Yes and Mara will never grant me freedom, especially if he knew it was so that I could spend the rest of my days with Jack O’Neill. No, Narayana, love isn’t for me. I can’t love. I’m not free to love.” 

“But you cannot ignore your feelings…” 

“Yes I can. I don’t have a choice. Jack could never love me, and I could never love him.” 

“Hmm, love Daniel is a very strange thing…” 

“It’s a curse, Narayana. Love is a curse. It’s a foolish emotion that makes people weak…” 

“Do you not love me then?” 

Daniel focused intently on Narayana as he replied, “You know I do, Narayana. You’re like a father to me. Yes, I love you that’s not in question…” 

“Then you are saying that you too are foolish and weak?” 

“No, no I’m…” 

“But you just said that love makes people weak, Daniel, and if you love me…” 

“You know what I meant.” 

“Yes I do, and I also know that love will find you at the oddest of times whether or not you are permitted to experience it. Your master controls you, yes. Your master owns you and you belong to him, but your master does not control your heart, nor will he ever. He may try to hinder you. He may try to discourage O’Neill from pursuing you and he may even drive a wedge between the two of you but he will never be able to stop true love if it is meant to be. He is not all powerful Daniel. He is not all knowing. He is merely a tyrant who through a series of misfortunes you now belong to. Do not let that stop you from daring to love another. If there is true love between the two of you then it will find a way. Love always finds a way, Daniel.” 

“But he hates me…” 

“He distrusts you because of your betrayal, but you also risked your own life to warn him and he chose to ignore the warning. You are not responsible for his captivity rather he is for daring to pursue you.” 

“But I made him care for me, Narayana. I made him desire me. I seduced him and I lied to him to trap him here for my master…” 

“You had no choice in the matter, and you did not make anyone care for you. You give yourself so little credit. You are far too easy to love and care for. Anyone can see that you have a good heart and that you possess a caring soul. What they cannot see is that you are oppressed by an unruly master who owns and controls your life.” 

Laughing mirthlessly Daniel responded, “I’m no prize, Narayana. People like me don’t fall in love. People like me don’t deserve love. People like me are unworthy of such a gift.” 

“Why do you say such negative things?” 

“Look at me Narayana. I spend half my life on my back or on hands and knees serving my master. My duty when in the bed chamber is to fuck whomever he selects for me and to earn their trust so that they will confide in me their secrets, their plans. I must earn their trust or I am punished for my failure. I’m no prize. I’m a manipulator and a whore Narayana.” 

“Do not speak of yourself in that way! You are neither of those things. Yes you have been ordered to do some atrocious things in the past, but you are good at heart and you always find a way to try to help others. You take great risks, yet you give yourself no credit.” 

Daniel shook his head again as he responded with, “I seduce people that my master desires to own and control. I make them want me. I make them desire me. I make them love me, and then I betray them. I destroy them Narayana at the command of my master I destroy them. How could anyone ever feel anything for me other than hatred and rage after that Narayana? How…? I will never fall in love. I’ll never know love because no one could ever love someone as twisted as me.” 

As Daniel lowered his head having nearly choked on his last words Narayana was quick to draw him against him holding him tightly as he hushed him. Daniel at first wanted to struggle, to fight and resist feeling he didn’t deserve anything but disgust from another but Narayana would never allow him to accept that. No, Narayana would never allow him to believe he was worthless, so as he always did, he countered with offering support, care and concern. When Daniel finally managed to relax Narayana pulled away and offered, “I will go speak with him again, Daniel.” 

“No. No. It’s not worth it. Really, Narayana, there’s nothing there.” 

“Hmm nothing but love, Daniel… You love him. He loves you, but neither of you can see or accept it. You humans I shall never understand.” 

Daniel offered a shaky smile. Narayana responded by urging him to lay down for a bit. Once Daniel was settled he decided it was time to visit Jack O’Neill again. 

* *

As he entered the dungeons again he noticed that the Colonel quickly jumped up. The moment he saw who was visiting his shoulders slumped and he sighed as if disappointed before saying, “What do you want?” 

“I have come to speak with you of Daniel.” 

Immediately the Colonel seemed to go on the defensive as he snapped suspiciously, “Why?” 

Without a moment’s hesitation Narayana answered, “You are very cruel to a man who has nothing. I do not understand why this is. I would very much like to know. Tell me, O’Neill, does it make you feel good to hurt him further?” 

“WHAT?” 

“Does it make you feel powerful and in control when you hurt him? You speak to him as if he is nothing, yet I sense you care a great deal for him. If I am correct in my suspicions why then would you desire to further hurt him? Has he not suffered enough already? Why do you insist on being so cruel to a man you barely know, yet desire more than you should?” 

“I don’t…” 

“Tell me, O’Neill, would you so callously strip a man who is free as you do a man who is a slave?” 

“Well no what…” 

Cutting O’Neill’s response quickly off Narayana continued his voice softening, “He has already lost everything that was ever important to him, Colonel, and has precious little left. Why can you not at least treat him with some respect and dignity? Why must you take a man who already has little and strip him of everything? Why O’Neill? Why?” 

“What are you talking about? Where the hell did all this come from? Did he put you up to this?” 

“No he did not. We spoke of what transpired earlier. Your words, they upset him greatly. I do not like to see Daniel so upset.” 

“Why? He something to you…?” 

“As a matter of fact he is very important to me, yes.” 

“Oh are you one of his ‘customers’ then? One of those who will actually pay to sleep with a betraying bitch…” 

“O’NEILL!” 

“What? Truth hurts?” 

“In your case I would have to say yes, for only one who was deeply in love with another could feel such jealousy when speaking of them.” 

“WHAT?” 

“You will not win Daniel’s heart by treating him with little respect. You will not win Daniel’s love by persisting in remaining angry with him for something that he has no control over. If you love him then show him how much you love him, do not insist on pushing him to see how much he will take before he breaks. You endeavor to deny all of your feelings for him going so far as to make him angry with you so that he will persist in avoiding you. You do this merely to justify your reasons why you cannot love a man you have found your heart has already been given to. I beg of you, O’Neill, do not persist in hurting Daniel. He has suffered much. He has little left. Do not try to destroy something beautiful before it even has a chance to develop. He will never tell you when you have hurt him because he believes that he is deserving of such a hurt. He knows he has betrayed you and he knows that because of that you hate him. Hatred kills him O’Neill. He cannot handle it. He does not understand it.” 

“How can he not understand it?” 

“This place is all he knows O’Neill. He has lived within these walls most of his life. When he was young he suffered a great loss, and has been here ever since. What he knows he has learned from Mara and the others who reside here. Hatred is not one of them, at least not the kind of hatred you exhibit towards him.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

Narayana shook his head dismissively before changing the subject, “If you love him as I sense you do then allow it to develop instead of destroying it. Love is a precious gift. Do not allow anger, hatred and mistrust to destroy that for either of you, O’Neill. Please.” 

With that said Narayana turned abruptly and exited the room leaving Jack staring after him as his mind toyed with what had just been said. 

* * * *

He thought a lot about what Narayana had said to him several hours ago and found that he wanted now more than ever to see Daniel again. Glancing towards the door he found himself wondering if it was day or night. He could never tell in the dungeon, and hoped it was still day or at least early evening for that would mean Daniel would visit him shortly. Anxious, he began to pace. He was always pacing back and forth, back and forth. He was bored and had studied every inch of his cell multiple times. Still he had no idea of how to escape. It was beginning to look like the only way out was through Daniel, by using him, but he couldn’t bring himself to do that because despite how much he tried to deny it he felt something for Daniel, and though Daniel had betrayed him he couldn’t bring himself to return that same hurt. Damn it! 

Shaking his head he turned to make another pass across the length of his cell pausing when he heard the door open and feeling his heart clench as he caught sight of the young man approaching. He tried to ignore the excitement he felt upon seeing him again, knowing that he should be outraged with Daniel not anxious or pleased to see him. Daniel had betrayed him…or hadn’t he? 

Shaking his head he gazed intently at Daniel recalling one of their previous conversations and quietly muttered, “ _‘Sam told you then,’_ ” trying to figure out why that statement seemed so important. The answer came to him when Daniel replied with, “What? What Jack?” prompting him to answer, “That’s what you said.” 

“What?” 

“ _‘Sam told you’_ but how did she know? You told her, didn’t you?” 

“Told her what?” 

“About you, when did you tell her? _Why_ did you tell her?” 

He lowered his head before answering, “I found her. She didn’t find me. I saw her with you that first night you came to watch me dance and after you started pursuing me…I tracked her with Narayana’s help and…” 

“Told her about…about you…” 

“Yes.” 

“Why?” 

“Because if anyone could stop you from following me I felt it was her, but apparently you didn’t listen. I tried to…”

“Stop me, you tried to stop me.” 

“Yes I did.” 

“And I reacted by calling you a…” 

“Yes, but I understand…” 

“No…” 

“Yes. Jack, I have no choice in the life I lead. I’m trapped with no chance at escape. You on the other hand were _free_ and I value that highly.” 

“Narayana said you had hope…” 

“I did once then it was lost. When I dared to hope again all I got in return for my foolishness was to be hated again and called a betraying bitch, so hope’s pretty much dead to me now.” 

Not sure of how to respond, knowing he was the cause he said, “But Daniel without hope…” 

“I never had any, Jack. I never dared to hope before and then someone actually showed care and concern for me and I lost it as quickly as I had gained it. I’ll always be Mara’s bitch hound, Jack. There is no other life for me.” 

“But…” 

“I have no choice, Jack. When he purchased me I was placed in a cell like you. I had limited rights and no one cared, except Narayana. He would keep me company. He would bring me food, eventually after my third escape attempt…” 

_“Third?”_

“Yes, third… After that escape attempt Mara forced me to walk a gauntlet. He didn’t think I’d survive. No one usually does. I proved him wrong and he granted me a name. After that I was released from imprisonment but made to serve him. It was better than the alternative. The dungeons they’re not very pleasant as you no doubt have realized. Many…many suffer down here. When I became his pet I was given minimal rights. One of those rights is to visit his dungeons and tend to those who need tending. He permits me a certain amount of time each day and each night to visit. IF I behave, IF I listen he extends it. Jack, there are thousands of people down here and though I can’t visit them all in a day I can manage it throughout the week. They have no names. Some, some have been here so long that they don’t even know who they are any more. He calls them his conquered. I call them the forgotten, and I try to spend a little extra time with them when I’m able, so that they know someone at least cares for them.” 

“Do you help them to escape?” 

“No.” 

“Why?” 

“Because if I’m caught I’ll be executed… There’s no one else to do what I do.” 

“So you’re a saint?” 

“Oh no, far from it… I’m just a slave who uses his time to tend and visit with those here. I’m no saint. I have pleaded with my master to release some of his prisoners, but he doesn’t listen. Instead I’m usually punished for being so daring as to question him. My pleas fall on deaf ears and many of them die here because I’m unable to win their freedom from him. So I’m no saint. If I were I would be able to save those trapped here.” 

“Would you?” 

“What? What Jack?” 

“Would you save them, or are you just telling me what I want to hear?” 

Jack noticed the hurt flash across Daniel’s face ever so briefly before it vanished and his face was once more unreadable. He answered softly, “Yes I would save them if I could, Jack. If I had that kind of power I’d do it in a heartbeat.” 

“So what’s stopping you then?” 

“Don’t you listen, Jack? I’ve already told you what would happen. I’m powerless to interfere and if I dare to do more than I’m permitted I will suffer.” 

“So you’ll sacrifice your soul for him?” 

Lowering his head as if in defeat Daniel softly uttered, “Such is the life of a slave…” 

“Such is the life of a… You’re so damned accepting of your place, aren’t you?” 

Jerking his head up he responded with, “I never said that, Jack. I’ve only said that I have _no choice_.” 

Anger tinged Jack’s voice as he tried to comprehend why anyone would be so accepting of the status of slave that prompted him to ask, “Why?” 

“Because a slave has no choice and I’m a slave, Jack. _I’m a slave._ ” 

Irritated now Jack snapped, “By choice no doubt.” 

Daniel shook his head before answering, “No. No. I had no choice and none were given to me. My choices were taken away.” 

“By who?” 

“By the one who captured and sold me.” 

“Were you always a slave?” 

“Do you mean was I born into this life? No. Did I have a choice in the life I now lead? No. My choices were all stolen away by those who profit from lies and deceit, by those who profit from violence and war.” 

“It’s just that, well, you seem so damned accepting of your place and if you were born into this life it would explain a few things.” 

“Whether I’m accepting of my place here or not doesn’t matter Jack. I have no choice but to serve him. He owns me. I’m property now. I was sold and claimed. I was marked and made what I now am. I had no choice. It was either live or die and I chose to live, to survive. Many would call this no life at all, but it’s better than the alternative. I chose life over death and this is the only way I am able to live. If I serve him I live, if I don’t I die and there’s so much more I want to do, so much more I could do if…” shaking his head he lowered it feeling sadness consume him, a sadness so profound that he could no longer look at Jack O’Neill nor remain in his presence. Without another word or backward glance Daniel strode from the room running into Narayana in his hasty retreat who immediately asked, “Are you all right, Daniel?” 

“No, no Narayana, but I will be. I will be.” 

With that he fled to his room and Narayana entered the dungeons quickly approaching the colonel to demand, “What did you say to him? He is very upset. What did you say to him now, O’Neill?” 

Glancing up hoping it was Daniel returning and disappointed to see only Narayana he quietly answered, “Nothing. I didn’t say anything to him.” 

“He was upset about something. It was something that the two of you were discussing. What did you say to him, O’Neill?” 

“I…nothing, it was nothing.” 

“Daniel does not often get so upset that he must leave a room. What did you say?” 

“We were talking that’s all.” 

“About what were you discussing?” 

“His life, how he got here, why he’s here…why he’s so accepting of his position in Mara’s court…” 

Narayana shook his head before speaking again, “Do you understand what his life is like, O’Neill? Do you understand how difficult this life is for him to lead and how few choices he presently has available to him…” 

“No. Yes…no, no I don’t.” 

“He was not always a slave. He was captured and imprisoned. Upon imprisonment he attempted many times to escape and many times suffered for his efforts. Mara purchased him from the one who had originally captured him. He knew that when he purchased Daniel he was purchasing an untrained servant but Daniel’s beauty, his spirit, _Daniel_ …stole Mara’s heart. Mara desired to possess and own him. He made Daniel a proposition that Daniel refused. Upon refusal he was locked in the dungeons and left here for some time. Mara chose to make him suffer ordering the other guards to provide Daniel little in the way of comfort. If he would refuse his master then he would earn nothing and he would receive nothing. Daniel was very young at the time and was offered very little. He was kept always in darkness, always in need, always in discomfort for Mara wanted to destroy Daniel, to rip him in half, to cut out his very soul and all because Daniel had refused him…” 

“Shit!" 

Narayana looked up a bit startled by the interruption and Jack immediately quieted awaiting Narayana’s next words. Several moments slipped by in silence before Narayana continued, “Daniel nearly lost himself down here. He still says to this day that had it not been for me he would now be as lost as those who have been long forgotten yet remain trapped here.” 

“Kindred spirits…” 

“What?” 

“Kindred spirits… Daniel, he told me that he visits the prisoners often and takes special time out to spend with those forgotten souls who are still trapped here. He was…earlier he told me about them.” 

“Yes part of the reason he spends extra time with them is because he was once in their place, though he never completely lost himself down here…” 

“Because of you…” 

Narayana ignored the statement and continued, “Daniel tried to escape several times and several times almost succeeded. Mara became angry, angry that he would lose the one he swore to punish for his rejection. Upon Daniel’s third escape attempt Mara had decided to end Daniel’s life, to execute him for his rejection, his defiance, his disrespect and his escape attempts. He was to be an example to the others, proof that no one escapes Mara’s dungeons, especially not one sentenced to life imprisonment _by_ Mara. As punishment he forced Daniel to walk a gauntlet. Daniel was not supposed to survive. The guards, his army spared Daniel no mercy. They beat him without control, without reserve, without care, they beat him. They’re orders? They were told to make certain that he did not survive. He, they were his executioners O’Neill. Daniel was not supposed to survive such a brutal, vicious punishment. He was to die that day, but he did not.” 

“They didn’t kill him?” 

“If he made it to the end of the gauntlet and was able to cross the final line still breathing then his life would not be taken. It is the way a gauntlet is run. He had to make it to the end of the line still drawing breath to be granted his life. No one survives one of Mara’s gauntlets and those few that have usually crawl across the line. Daniel forced himself upright and walked across the line before collapsing on the other side of it. The guards they helped him rise again, several carried him to their master. Daniel had collapsed at his feet, but he was still very much alive. When Mara confirmed that he still drew breath it was then that he granted Daniel a name and permitted him to serve. His choices were to return to his cell and die there or to attend his master and willingly serve him. In exchange he would be given free run of the palace and would be granted permission to visit and tend to those who still remained in the dungeons…” 

“And so he willingly serves his master because…” 

“He has no other choice. It is either serve or die in a cell unable to help anyone. Daniel chose life.” 

“So in the end Mara got what he wanted anyway?” 

A nod of the head was Jack’s only answer and the only response he was able to form around his rage and anger was, “That’s extremely cruel…” 

Narayana said nothing.


	3. Judge Not

**JUDGE NOT**

_He calls me pet when he is extremely angry with me. It’s usually used to make me feel ashamed, to remind me again of my place in his world._

_Sometimes when he uses the address it is out of affection, but when he uses it in anger it’s to instill in me what I truly am. When he is angry with me I’m no better than a dog to him, a faithful pet whom he leashes to his side._

_Sometimes it doesn’t bother me that address, but when he tells me I am to act as the dog I am I want to die and pray for the ground to swallow me up. My face it burns with shame when I must bark and whimper as a dog for him, to appease him. I have no other right but to behave as the animal he says I am to be. It’s at those times that my shame and my hatred go head to head. I feel ashamed, and I hate him for what he orders me to do._

_Hatred is something I have learned to silence. It’s something I’ve learned to destroy, but it’s there nonetheless, and though I succeed in dampening it the emotion never truly goes away. Instead it festers and grows within, burning into the very core of my being and destroying yet more of what little remains of my soul. It like other such emotions erode away at me, destroying what is good and pure…_

_Pure, now that’s a word that makes me laugh, for I am so far from it. There is nothing pure about me though Narayana would argue such a point. Purity doesn’t exist in a body that is soiled, a being that is so filthy, so unkempt that I sometimes despise and hate myself._

_People say I’m beautiful but they are all just lies because if one dared to look much deeper they’d see how truly ugly I am. I have scars that no one has ever seen, and no one ever will. My physical body may be unmarred except the brand upon my shoulder burned there to mark me for all eternity, but I am still scarred, deeply. There are scars so deep that no one will ever see them, but I will always remember them._

_No one would want me if they looked close enough because I’m no prize. I’ll never be, for who would ever want someone so marred, so pathetic or so filthy? Who would love someone who has fucked and been fucked as often as I?_

 

As he was brought into the room he watched as Mara ordered his pet to greet the prisoner. Daniel grunted before crawling to him, whimpering and bowing before him then once again returning to his master’s side. What the hell? 

His master smiled before saying, “Normally my pet would speak for me but at the moment he cannot. Can you Sarameya?” 

Another whine escaped from the man’s lips in response. His master then petted his head answering the question himself, “No you cannot and why is that pet?” 

Another whimper was released followed by a whine. His master laughed in response answering, “It is because you are being punished, is it not Sarameya?” 

Again a stream of whines and whimpers escaped as the slave answered his master’s questions. Mara petted him again before taunting further, “Yes, tell us of your crime against me, Sarameya. Come speak for us, pretty pet.” 

Again he whimpered and whined as if he were a dog. When his master only responded by further taunting him the servant’s whimpers increased becoming louder. He even began to yip before he was ordered to heel and quickly settled at his master’s feet. Mara continued to grin turning to Narayana as he demanded, “Remove my pet’s silks, Narayana. Animals I fear do not have the liberty of wearing clothing.” 

Narayana approached the slave and removed his silks bowing and exiting the room as his master requested his servant’s choke collar be brought to him and fitted about his neck. Upon returning Narayana did as bid before moving back into his place beside his lord. 

Mara turned focusing his attention on his servant smiling as he gazed upon the collar and the bands that now encircled the man’s wrists and ankles properly marking him as the animal he was presently to be viewed as. He then proudly announced, “Sarameya you are now properly fitted to serve me,” and again the servant whimpered in reply. 

What Mara said to him after that Jack didn’t recall. He was too wrapped up in observing Daniel and trying to figure out why he would so willingly act like an animal. He was outraged and disgusted. Did Daniel _like_ behaving as a dog? What the hell would possess _anybody_ to do that? Why would he even allow it? 

Shaking his head he became aware that he was being returned to his cell and found himself briefly wondering what reason Mara had for having him brought before him. When no answer was forthcoming he thought about Daniel trying to understand what would possess him to behave as a dog for his master. 

He spent several hours debating about it before Narayana finally arrived. Upon seeing him enter the dungeons he immediately questioned, “What the hell was that?” 

Narayana looked up before saying, “Am I to believe that this has something to do with what has transpired this evening?” 

“Damn right it does! What the hell was he doing? He’s not a damned dog!" 

Narayana lowered his head drawing in a steadying breath before answering, “It is a punishment that his master selected for him.” 

“A punishment, a _punishment_ …? For what? What the hell was he thinking behaving like _that_? Why would he even allow…?” 

Shaking his head Narayana said, “Yet again you question why he does as his master bids him when you do not realize that he has no choice in the matter. He is not a free man. He is a slave. When will you understand exactly what that means, O’Neill?” 

“I do know what that means I just… _Why?_ ” 

He fell silent as the young servant entered the dungeons and quietly approached him. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it again noting the servant was smiling softly towards him. He remained silent only moments more before demanding, “What the hell was that, Daniel?” 

As quickly as the smile appeared it vanished as the young man lowered his gaze and frowned. He glanced at Narayana with questions in his eyes. Narayana approached and said, “He does not understand why you so willingly accepted your master’s punishment, Daniel. He does not yet understand that you have no choice in the matter.” 

Daniel nodded in response before pointing at Jack. Jack demanded, “What the hell’s he doing now?” 

“Asking me to explain his actions to you…” 

“So why doesn’t he just say that?”

“Because he cannot yet speak, his master has not yet granted him permission to do so.” 

Scorn crossed Jack’s face as he snapped out bitterly, “Oh you like being a dog, do you? You really are a bitch, aren’t you Sarameya?” 

Without conscious thought Daniel harshly spoke Jack’s name. Jack looked at him and loudly stated, “Oh I see you suddenly have your voice back, so perhaps you can tell me just why you like to serve as your master’s bitch.” 

Narayana snapped, “Do not ask him questions, O’Neill!” 

“Why? He can fucking answer them!” 

“No, he cannot. If he is caught…” 

“Who’s going to tell?” 

“Anyone here who desires something from the master… You cannot demand that he speak when he has been forbidden by his master to do so. You risk his very life if you do.” 

“What? He has a damned choice…” 

Daniel shook his head before turning to Narayana who said in disappointment, “You still do not understand, do you O’Neill? You believe that he can do what he pleases and his master will not respond with punishment. You are a most foolish man. What will it take for you to realize what his status implies for him, what his purpose is? What will it take?” 

“I, he…” 

He fell silent as Daniel placed a hand on Narayana’s shoulder. When Narayana turned to him his voice softened considerably, “What is it, Daniel?” 

Daniel shook his head glancing briefly at Jack before again shaking it and turning to leave. Jack saw pain and sorrow flash across Narayana’s face and swallowed hard aware that the guard was now very upset. Concerned he implored, “Narayana what…?” 

Narayana held up a hand to silence him before approaching Daniel to softly say, “He does not yet understand. Give him time.” 

A shake of the head was his only response before Daniel exited the room. Narayana called to him, but he was gone. Jack asked, “What’s wrong?” 

Narayana glanced briefly at him before sadly admitting, “It will not be long before you succeed where Mara has failed.” 

“What? What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Mara has tried for many years to accomplish what you seem to be in only a few scant months.” 

Feeling suddenly very angry he demanded, “And what’s that?” 

“You are breaking him, O’Neill,” with that said Narayana quickly departed in pursuit of Daniel, and Jack felt as if his heart were now breaking in two. 

Picking up his pursuit he saw Daniel enter his room. Without a moment’s hesitation he entered behind him quickly heading for Daniel’s balcony, for he knew that’s where Daniel would run. 

Spotting him he softly said, “Daniel, wait please…” and swallowed hard as the young man responded by quickly launching himself against him. Instantly Narayana wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close aware that Daniel’s pain went extremely deep. He held him tightly allowing him, permitting him, to feel sadness and disappointment. 

As Daniel pulled from him he again spoke, “I am so sorry, Daniel. Give him time. He still does not understand what slavery is. He was confused and angry. He does not understand why you would so willingly do as bid. He does not know of how you have suffered for non-compliance in the past. Perhaps it is time he learned?” 

Daniel responded by violently shaking his head. Narayana countered with, “You will have to tell him eventually, you know. If the two of you pursue this thing between you he will have to know.” 

Again he shook his head violently. Narayana nodded before continuing, “I will not speak of it again. Perhaps in time you will find the strength to speak of it yourself.” 

Daniel offered no response only tensed when a knock sounded at his door. He cast a fearful gaze towards Narayana before drawing his arms across his chest and turning to stare out across the planet’s vast surface. 

Narayana frowned at the reaction before approaching the door to Daniel’s chambers. When he saw who waited on the other side of it he nodded his head feeling his heart grow heavier as he responded with, “I shall send him.” 

Returning to Daniel he came up behind him and drew him back into the safety of his arms holding him tightly as he began to shake. Feeling Daniel quivering against him nearly tore his heart out, for it was an indicator of just how afraid he was to report to his master as he no doubt knew was just requested. 

Narayana squeezed his eyes tightly shut holding Daniel tighter as he said, “I will come to you when he permits it. Please hold on for me, Daniel, please.” 

He could feel the tension in Daniel that announced how fearful he truly was. When he nodded before pulling away Narayana knew he was ready to face his master. Still he halted Daniel, gently cupping his face in his hands as he encouraged, “Look at me.” 

Daniel complied and as their eyes connected Narayana said again, “Please hold on for me, Daniel, please.” 

Daniel swallowed hard before nodding. Moments later he was pulling away again before lowering to hands and knees as he headed off to meet with his master as was requested. 

* *

His fear upon being summoned before his master was nothing compared to the fear he felt upon halting at the entrance to his master’s throne room awaiting permission to enter. He waited silently holding his gaze firmly on the floor. He could feel the tension in the room and was certain his master was not pleased with him. When his master uttered his next command he knew just how angry Mara now was, “OBEISANCE!” 

Swallowing hard he gracefully bent forward, placing the palms of his hands and his forehead to the floor. He then lifted his head slightly before moving forward inch by inch until his face was on his master’s feet. Once there he waited for his next command tensing further when he was briskly ordered into the display position. 

Quickly rising to his feet he placed them shoulder width apart before lacing his fingers behind his neck holding his elbows back. When his master didn’t immediately react he raised his head up slightly more and kept his eyes properly lowered. As his master began to move he tensed further very aware that this meeting would most likely end with him serving a punishment. Fear coursed through him as his master slowly circled him several times before speaking, “I have heard that you spoke without permission today.” 

He squeezed his eyes tightly shut as panic threatened to consume him at the pronouncement. Someone had spoken. Someone had revealed his transgression and now he would suffer for his disobedience. He tensed further feeling his master’s hand press against his cheek as he paused before him. 

His master gently lifted his head but Daniel refused to look up keeping his gaze turned intently on the floor and swallowing hard as his master softly informed, “Therefore you will be punished.” 

He felt his stomach flop before tightening at the statement now extremely fearful of just what his punishment would be and as his master spoke again he felt his uneasiness settle deeper within, “Have you nothing to say for yourself, Syama?” 

He said nothing then his master continued, “Why is it that in my presence you know your place, you know your rights but when out of my sight you choose to defy me? Why Syama?” 

Again he didn’t speak only stood stock still as he had been commanded to do upon his arrival. 

His master continued, “You disappoint me, Syama.” 

Again he said nothing only swallowing hard before drawing in a calming breath as he awaited the pronouncement of his punishment. 

After several long drawn out moments his master continued, “Your punishment shall fit your crime. What shall it be, Syama? What shall it be?” 

His master circled him again before snapping his fingers as he pronounced, “You spoke without permission so I shall remind you of what befalls those who possess a loose tongue.” 

Silence fell again stretching, so thick with tension that Daniel found it difficult to draw breath. He was on the verge of panic, afraid of the punishment that would soon befall him. As a single word was spoken he felt dread fill his heart but quickly followed the command lowering to his belly before stretching his legs behind him and crossing them at the ankles. Swallowing harder he closed his eyes before turning his head to the left and drawing his arms behind his back before likewise crossing them. His master chuckled as he lay motionless on the floor awaiting the bindings soon to follow such a command. 

As his master began to secure rope around his ankles he squeezed his eyes shut tighter tensing as they were fastened tightly before the excess length of rope still remaining was pulled on and drawn to the middle of his back. He wanted to fight, to resist, to scream as his master drew the rope taut pulling his ankles nearly to his buttocks before securing the rope around his wrists. Next his master retrieved a second rope that was also tied around his wrists before being drawn up towards his head and secured firmly around his neck like a noose. His fear tripled as he became aware that he was now secured like one would secure a pig they were preparing to brand. To say he was a little scared was an understatement, for he was downright terrified… 

* * * *

Jack paced his cell nervously feeling extremely uneasy, but he couldn’t quite figure out why. He glanced up at the door as if awaiting Daniel’s arrival, his appearance there but not a sound pierced the dungeon. Shaking his head he told himself there was nothing to worry about, nothing was wrong, he was just edgy because he was penned up…but no matter what he tried to convince himself of a feeling of dread seemed to be hovering deep within him. Shaking his head again he jerked his gaze away from the door telling himself there was nothing wrong, nothing amiss, but he still couldn’t shake the strange feeling that Daniel…needed him. What the hell? They barely knew each other, were in fact just starting to get to know one another and he was already sensing that the man needed him? Damn, was he ever a sorry sap! How the hell had he fallen for a blue eyed stranger so damned quickly? What the hell was wrong with him? And why did he feel as if his heart were permanently lodged in his throat? Why did he feel so damned edgy all of a sudden? 

Cursing he sat down, but just as quickly as he sat down he jumped back up before beginning his nervous pacing yet again back and forth, back and forth like a caged animal ready to explode. What the hell was wrong with him? As he turned sharply to make his next trek across his small cell he heard the distinct click of the door opening and jerked his head up searching for the one he was waiting for. What he saw was Narayana and before Narayana was…Daniel, on hands and knees, which disturbed him so very much. He was ready to ask why when Narayana approached. 

As Narayana paused before his cell he noticed Daniel gaze up before managing, “Help me up please,” his voice sounding harsh to Jack’s ears. 

Narayana nodded before carefully helping Daniel rise, cringing each time the man winced or whimpered. Once on his feet he managed, “Thank you…” before lapsing into a cough that prompted Jack to inquire, “Sore throat?” 

Daniel only nodded and Jack inquired further, “Cold?” 

A shake of the head was his only response. As Daniel focused on him he noticed there was now material wrapped around the man’s neck and feeling his unease only continue to build managed, “What’s with the scarf?” internally cringing at the anger that seemed to lace his words. 

Narayana softly spoke, “Shall I show him?” 

Daniel only nodded. As the scarf was removed Jack paled and as Narayana took careful care to rewrap the throat he answered, “He was secured with his hands behind his back. One rope led from his wrists to his ankles and the other rope from his wrists to around his neck. He was… How do you say it Daniel?” 

A hoarse whisper escaped that only Narayana heard. He turned and replied, “Hog tied is what he says it is called where you are from. While in such a position he was punished and after his master had enough of that he…lashed him then forced him to grovel.” 

_“Why?”_

“Because someone told him of Daniel’s crime.” 

“Which was?” 

Daniel managed in a hoarse voice loud enough that Jack heard, “Saying your name.” 

Flushing Jack snapped, “What?” 

“When he is ordered not to speak he is not permitted to do so for _any reason_ and if he must he must voice things as the animal his master selects until told otherwise. I told you not to make him speak. This is his punishment.” 

Not knowing how to respond he stumbled over a response, “He’s speaking now…” and felt like an ass realizing how stupid the statement had been. 

Narayana continued to speak as if he hadn’t heard the comment, “That is because his master knows how much it pains him to do so.” 

“That’s sadistic.” 

“That is his life. You do not seem to comprehend just what his life entails. Always you are criticizing him and making him do things that he would never have done in the past. You make him feel things he does not understand and…he suffers for it. He suffers _for you_.” 

“Right…” 

He watched as Daniel turned and whispered something to Narayana who nodded before saying, “We must take our leave.” 

“Why?” 

“Daniel is not feeling well. He…hurts a lot.” 

“From what?” 

Daniel again focused on the guard and spoke. It was as if he was relying on Narayana to presently speak for him. He commented on the observation, “You speak for him often, don’t you? You understand him. You understand what he needs.” 

Narayana nodded and said, “He has been under my care for many years and yes when he is not permitted to speak I speak for him. Now we must go for he is not well.” 

He opened his mouth wanting to tell them to halt, to stay for a while longer but as he gazed into Daniel’s deep azure gaze all he saw there was pain, exhaustion, weakness…all he saw was how much energy Daniel was presently exerting just to speak with him and his heart felt like it was beginning to bleed. Ah God the man was suffering. Shaking his head and dismissing his desire to ask Daniel to stay he simply nodded his head. 

He watched as they started heading towards the exit to the dungeons noticing how low Daniel hung his head and just how heavily he was relying on the man beside him to get him to his destination. Without thought he called out, “Narayana?” 

The man paused shifting his grip on Daniel to hold him firmer against him before glancing over his shoulder at Jack awaiting his comment. Jack focused on Daniel again noticing how he seemed to be struggling just to remain upright and quickly added, “Take care of him… Please?” 

Narayana nodded before again turning his focus onto Daniel softly asking him a question that had Daniel nodding his head in response before the two continued on. 

As Narayana guided Daniel down the hall to his chambers he softly questioned, “Is he worth it, Daniel? Do you love him enough to suffer for him?” 

“Yes I think maybe I do, but…” 

“But…?” 

“I don’t know if I can keep doing this. I’m tired of hurting, Narayana. I’m tired of being barely able to walk on my own. I’m just…tired.” 

“I have sensed it has been so for some time… Here we are at your rooms.” 

Narayana slowly opened the door and guided Daniel inside before securing the door behind them. Daniel was speaking again his voice growing fainter by the minute, “Yes. You’ve guessed correctly, but…” 

Narayana raised an eyebrow as he questioned, “But?” and carefully guided him into his bedroom. Daniel continued, “Have no choice… I suffer that’s what pleases him.” 

Narayana lowered him to the bed urging him to lie back before slowly drawing the covers up over him. He then cupped the side of Daniel’s face smiling softly as the man seemed to instantly relax in response to the physical contact. As Daniel shifted upon the mattress he shook his head saying, “You should not have to suffer to please your master, Daniel.” 

Daniel settled further as he tiredly answered, “Hmm tell that…to him,” before he drifted off completely. 

Narayana sat on the bed beside him and began to gently stroke his hair saddened by the discussion they had just had and uncertain of what he could do about it. He knew that the violence against Daniel would only increase, for Mara was growing concerned that he was spending so much time in the dungeons. At first he had let it go, permitting Daniel to visit when he wanted to but now? Now Mara feared that a bond between the two was building, and he didn’t like that one bit. In an attempt to discourage it Mara had ordered O’Neill brought before him when his servant was being punished. His reasoning was that if he could trigger disgust in O’Neill it would then discourage any further in depth exchanges between the two. He had thought his plan had worked…until he was informed that his pet had spoken without permission. It was then that he realized just how much Daniel was being influenced by O’Neill and decided to counter with a severe punishment, one that would affirm in him that he wasn’t permitted to disobey for _any_ reason. 

Narayana was now very worried, for he knew what such a response meant…Mara would become more aggressive towards Daniel, as a result Daniel would suffer immensely and if he dared intervene in any way Daniel would pay the price. 

* * * *

**DANCING ON THE RIM OF PATALA**  
 **Bathed by the Shadow Light of the Nagas**

Narayana watched from the doorway as Daniel sat at the piano moving his fingers rapidly across the keys producing his beautiful, yet haunting music for his master and feeling an ache deep in his chest as Mara uttered his next command, “Sarameya, that’s a depressing tune. Please play me something with a little more…flair.” 

Bowing his head low he answered, “My Master, yes My Master,” and began to play a brighter tune. 

Narayana felt immensely sad watching how the command was killing Daniel to comply with. Music was a coping mechanism for him, a way for him to release his anger, his pain, his sadness… He wanted nothing more than to compose on his own, to put into music those feelings he was forced always to conceal, but Mara wouldn’t allow him even that. As Daniel’s head dropped lower he found he could no longer watch and decided to check on O’Neill. 

* *

When Jack heard the beautiful music it brought tears to his eyes. The one playing must be very sad. As Narayana entered the dungeon he glanced up watching as the man approached before softly inquiring, “Who’s playing?” 

“Ah, it is Daniel. His music, it makes the soul bleed. It is as beautiful as he… Through it you can feel his pain and anguish, his suffering. His master? He will soon order him to play something else, for he does not like to know how his pet truly feels. The music is disturbing to him.” 

“He plays?” 

“The piano, yes, it is the instrument his master chose to train him on. He often will order his pet to play for guests, during feasts or simply for him whenever he so desires. Daniel is a natural at the instrument as you can tell.” 

He nodded listening again to the haunting music and glancing up as it took a sudden abrupt turn into a more pleasant piece. Narayana sighed before shaking his head and saying, “He rarely allows Daniel to express how he truly feels. It is very cruel, for he must force all of his emotions deep down inside. It is not a healthy way to deal with things.” 

“He sounds angry…” 

“Yes. He will soon be threatened his…” 

The music fell abruptly silent for several moments before it began again slow and a bit choppy before smoothing out into a song that made one feel peaceful. Jack glanced up noting how Narayana was now hanging his head and clenching his hands into fists at his sides, which prompted him to question, “What’s…what’s wrong?” 

“I will have to tend to his hands when he is finished.” 

“Wh…why?” 

“Here is your food. I will return later.” 

With that Narayana abruptly turned and left the room… 

And the piano music played on for several hours before it fell silent again. 

* *

It was several more hours before he heard the door to the dungeon open and as he glanced up he recognized Daniel immediately. He quietly approached before softly asking, “How are you doing? I trust Narayana has been treating you well?” 

“Yes actually he has though I don’t know why…” 

“He made a promise to me that he would watch over you and protect you.” 

“Why?” 

“Because he knows what is in my heart, and he knows how I…hurt.” 

“What?” 

Shaking his head he reached out and grasped the now empty tray in his hands. The tray shook before slipping from his grasp to clatter loudly onto the floor. Closing his eyes Daniel bowed his head as if in shame before lowering, so incredibly slow to the floor. As he gathered the tray against him and turned slightly to retrieve the silverware the red silk outfit he wore dipped off of his right shoulder revealing a very dark discolored shoulder to his eyes. He swallowed hard watching as the man slowly rose, gripping the tray in his arms and holding it to his chest as if he couldn’t manage it in his hands. It was then that he focused, really focused on the man’s hands…and paled. 

Daniel’s voice broke his concentration as he harshly asked, “What?” 

“Your hands they’re…” 

“Fine, they’re fine.” 

“Did he…belt them, Daniel?” 

Daniel jerked his head away refusing to answer before turning abruptly away and beginning to leave. Jack immediately said, “Wait. Wait please?” 

He didn’t look back only stood with his back to Jack before softly revealing, “I showed emotion while playing. My master doesn’t desire to hear such foolish things from me therefore he corrected me.” 

Speaking in a voice lined with outrage he snapped, “He _corrected_ you?” 

“Yes.” 

“WHY?” 

“A slave is ignorant and doesn’t know how to behave so his master must always train and correct him. The master is never wrong. The slave is never right and must be disciplined accordingly, Jack.” 

With that said he abruptly left and Jack was left gawking at his retreating back.

 

_His commands they are like a poison to my soul. Never has he permitted me to do something for myself. He even punishes me if I dare. His anger it becomes so heightened at times and yet I still test him. I still challenge him. I still dare to push him just a little bit more. Always I end up suffering his wrath, always._

_His beatings they aren’t all that bad. He can be violent, yes, but more often than not he just smacks me around a bit. It’s when I play for him that I feel the full extent of his wrath. My hands, he beats them when I refuse to comply with his orders. He beats them until they crack and bleed. When they start to bleed he refuses to allow me rest, instead he demands I play for several more hours as penance for angering him so. By the time he permits me a reprieve I’m nearly in tears due to the pain and fear that filters in when I realize I can barely move my hands. He terrifies me at those times when he beats them so much that they hurt so severely. Eventually they go numb as my fingers fumble over the keys attempting to produce a melody that pleases him. It’s at those times he shows me little mercy. Instead he hangs over me, yelling commands, voicing loudly his displeasure with me. It’s at those times I find I must close my eyes, block him out or I will not be able to play for him as he demands._

_It’s strange the things that move through my mind as I block him out. I hear the music and feel the stiffness in my fingers but soon my mind begins to journey and I allow the music to guide me. It’s a darkness that I see that soon takes form stretching into extravagant palaces all decorated with magnificent jewels and off in the distance I see them dance. It’s a strange feeling really, a strange place my mind often conjures up. I think I have an overactive imagination because I soon get swept up in the sounds and sights within my own mind. They dance and dance, swirling about. They are pleased. They are happy. I want to join them because I’m so sad, but alas I’m not permitted to. I’m grounded, chained to the piano by invisible cord, cord I’ve learned ages ago never to strain against for it will cut me deeply. Still I long to join them, those strange figures in my mind that dance and swirl round and round as I continue to play for hours on end attempting to please him as best I can while inside I continue to die._

_It kills me his demand, his order, his command to play ONLY for him, ALWAYS for him and never, ever am I permitted to play solely for me. If I dare he will punish me for the infraction for a pet doesn’t create unless they are permitted to. No, they are instead trained to perform a few pretty tricks that will please their masters because ultimately a pet is owned, a pet is property and as such a pet exists for their master alone._


	4. Serving Time in Naraka

**SERVING TIME IN NARAKA**

_Taptasurmi is where they say I shall serve, or the foul place of Vajrakataka-salmali. Why? Because I am often made to serve many in the bedroom by the order, by the command of My Master…I’m indiscriminate with my partners. They are random to me though he carefully selects each one. What I desire doesn’t matter. I’m a slave and as such I must always serve him in whatever capacity he desires of me. So why is it then that I should suffer when he is the one who forces me to engage in such atrocious acts?_

_He tells me I must serve **him** , he who terrifies me. He tells me that I shall serve a lifetime in Naraka for my sins that I shall serve a lifetime bowing to him and serving his sentence. He has judged me and found me unworthy. He tells me as penance I shall serve him always. He calls me Sarameya or Syama. I have been stripped of my birth name and granted a new one. My new name…? He has told me that I’m the “courser” and Sabala the “hound”, whatever that means. Our duties are to guard him and to guard the path to his abode. _

_Rarely do we receive any visitors here at Kalachi. The people of this land they fear us. They fear him. They fear me, me a lowly slave they fear greatly. They say when I appear before them, among them that I bring with me a message, an omen that soon someone will journey beyond the living to be judged by My Master. I have never actually witnessed him judge anybody, but those who reside among us greatly fear any of us who serve him._

_They say the path here is a treacherous one, that those who are free of sin have little difficulty on their journey. While those who have committed sin? Our paths are filled with danger and terror. They have asked me if I traverse the path alone or am dragged back to him when he calls for me. When I tell them I am guided but never dragged they are shocked. They tell me that Narayana is my protector and that because he is I’m spared from being dragged back to My Master whenever he requires I return to him, whenever he declares my mission is complete._

_Unfortunately because of their fear of me, of My Master, I’m often isolated when among them. There are very few who dare to associate directly with me though they come by the thousands to watch me perform or to dance. I have never understood this, but it seems to be the way of things. There are few on the outside that dare to even approach me. They instead gaze at me in horror and fear, terrified by my presence. They act as if they’ve come face to face with death, and perhaps they have. After all the one I serve chose out of all possible deities to portray Yama, the Hindu god of death and punishment, the one who passes final judgment, the one who literally rules over Hell…_

 

He looked up as Daniel entered and approached hearing the soft jingling of bells in his every step. As he focused on the man he noticed that upon his left ankle was an anklet of bells and upon each of his delicate wrists were gold bands. Cocking his head to the left he questioned, “Why the jewelry?” 

Not wanting to answer the question but feeling that Jack deserved one he replied with, “It’s my master’s wish that I be ready when company arrives.” 

Certain he knew who that “company” was he questioned, “You’re waiting for someone, aren’t you?” 

“Jack I’m a pleasure pet…” 

“You’ll fuck anyone?” 

“If My Master commands it, yes.” 

“But…” 

“That’s what a pleasure pet does Jack. He fucks for his master whenever his master commands it, however his master commands it.” 

“And do you enjoy it?” 

“I don’t have a choice, Jack.” 

“But do you _enjoy_ it?” 

“It doesn’t matter if I do or not. I have to surrender regardless.” 

“So you’re willing?” 

“That’s all a matter of perspective, Jack. I fuck because I’m commanded to and whether I like it, want it, enjoy it or am willing to do so has no bearing on the command. I must perform as my master commands and expects whether I’m willing or not.” 

“You know that’s rape…” 

“What?” 

“If you’re not willing…” 

He lowered his head before saying, “It well may be, but the penalty for refusal is far too high to pay.” 

“Have you ever refused?” 

“Slaves don’t refuse their masters, Jack. Slaves have no right to refuse. They do as they’re told without question.” 

“You don’t really believe that, do you?” 

“What I believe doesn’t matter, Jack, a slave exists for his master, a slave serves the whims of his master, a slave obeys without question…a slave does nothing without his master’s say. The consequence of refusal is far too high. It’s a price I’m unwilling to pay.” 

“What’s the price, Daniel? What price is worth sacrificing yourself, demeaning yourself, making yourself bow to the whims of another? What price is worth that, Daniel?” 

Shaking his head he spoke softer as he asked a question of his own, “Have you ever heard of a submission cage, Jack?” 

“What?” 

“It’s an instrument you see, a training device used by a master to teach their servant their place. It was designed to make the slave always aware of what his or her proper place is.” 

“Daniel, what does this have to do with anything?” 

“Let me finish, Jack.” 

He gazed at Jack who nodded and waited for him to continue. When Daniel was certain he had Jack’s full attention he did “You see it’s a cage with bars on it. It’s an iron cage that’s relatively spacious. It’s usually ornately decorated and some would say that it isn’t much of a cage, except that the ceilings of this particular cage are only five feet above the floor, which means that anyone who is taller than five feet can’t stand completely upright. The only way to do so is if one were to lower their head, bowing it submissively. When one is placed in such a cage they are forbidden to look directly in the eyes of others. The penalty for casting one’s eyes above the ground is a longer sentence in the cage and a much stricter training regime.” 

“That doesn’t sound too bad…” 

Daniel glanced at him before continuing, “The one locked in such a cage isn’t permitted clothing. They remain naked at all times. The only things a slave caged as such is permitted to wear is their collar and the brand applied to their body by their master. The training is to instill in the slave that they are always submissive to everyone and that their true purpose is to exist, to be completely pleasing to their master and absolutely docile at _all_ times.” 

Jack remained silent for a few moments before questioning, “You said they’re _ornately_ decorated why?” 

“To sensitize the slave…” 

“Excuse me?” 

“The things provided in such a cage are of various different textures. There are mats, furs, silks, coarsely woven carpets anything that has a varying degree of texture that when applied to one’s body, or when one’s body comes into contact with it they are very aware of the subtle sometimes extreme differences in each item…” 

“Daniel what does this…” 

“When one is trapped in such a cage they are trained to be submissive and their awareness of things is heightened. The end result is that a slave who is exposed to such a regime of training is more aware of their body and of the various differences in touch and texture. It makes them more _alive_ , Jack.” 

“What?” 

“The skin becomes an oversensitive organ that makes one more passionate in the end.” 

“But why?” 

“It creates a deep-seated need in the slave, a desire, a yearning, a want to be touched and caressed. When one goes without physical contact of any kind one becomes desperate to acquire it in any way. By making a slave’s skin oversensitive it creates that need, that desire, that _craving_ deep within to be touched in order to feel _alive_ , Jack. In the end it creates a more desirable slave, a more wanton slave, a slave that’s easier to control.” 

“Easier to control…? How?” 

Glancing up and holding his gaze Daniel simply answered, “Because the slave is willing to do _anything_ to be touched physically, Jack.” 

“Anything?” 

“Yes, Jack, anything. They want to please their master in any way. They need touch to thrive, without it they feel as if they are dead or dying. The silk, it helps sensitize the slave but also makes them feel vulnerable and makes them quiver as it glides across one’s body…” 

“You’re speaking from experience now, aren’t you?” 

Daniel responded by lowering his head. 

Silence fell between them before Jack asked, “How long is a slave trained?” 

“Sometimes months, sometimes years… It depends on how difficult a challenge they pose.” 

“And if they aren’t able to be trained? What then, Daniel?” 

“They’re either executed or sold, or are lowered in rank and treated no better than an animal, a beast of burden.” 

“Like you.” 

“No. I’m not treated like an animal, Jack.” 

“Right…” 

“I’m a pleasure slave. I have one of the highest ranks a slave can attain.” 

“Then why have you been named after a dog?” 

“In Mara’s court Sabala and I are charged with one of the most important roles and duties, that of guardians to our lord and his lands.” 

“Who is Sabala?” 

“He’s a slave who serves as I.” 

“Is he a pleasure slave too?” 

“No. No he isn’t. Therefore he’s not required to attend his master at all times as I am.” 

“So how did you become one and he didn’t?” 

“Our master selected our status. He wishes me to serve as a pleasure slave and Sabala is mainly kept for domestic chores.” 

“So your status and his aren’t equal?” 

“We both share the duty of guarding the master and his lands.” 

“But your status and his aren’t equal. Why?” 

Daniel fell silent for several moments before continuing, “I’m required to attend My Master wherever he may go…” 

“But why? Why are you required to and Sabala’s not?” 

Daniel focused intently on Jack before asking, “How much do you know about the Goa’uld, Jack?” 

“They’re parasites who take human’s as hosts and…” 

Jack’s eyes widened and shock filled him as he stared intently at Daniel managing, “You’re…you’re his chosen one, aren’t you?” 

“Chosen one?” 

“Yes, the one he’ll take if…if something happens to him. No, Daniel, no…” 

“Yes Jack.” 

“Is that why you’re educated and…?” 

“Partly yes, partly no.” 

“I don’t…” 

“Understand… I know, Jack, and that’s okay really…” 

“No. No it isn’t. There’s so much, so much I don’t understand about you, about him, about this place…but I want to, Daniel, I want to very much.” 

Daniel blushed stuttering over his reply before managing, “I need to go, Jack. I’ll…I’ll see you later.” 

* * * *

Disturbed by the discussion he had just had, Daniel found he wanted nothing more than to be left alone, but he was required elsewhere. He slowly approached his master hesitating as he found that the last thing he wanted to do was serve another. He considered refusing his master’s command and feigning illness to avoid having to face an evening of offering up his body to another for their carnal pleasure but knew that he’d be made to serve regardless. He had no choice in the matter. He would serve diligently whether or not he risked losing what precious little remained of his soul in the process. 

Swallowing hard he forced himself to approach his master unaware that he had started to unconsciously wring his hands together in the process. He was determined to refuse but when faced by Mara all he could say was a quiet, “Master, please don’t make me do this,” that only succeeded in triggering his master’s ire as he snapped back, “Sarameya, are you questioning me?” 

He swallowed hard lowering his head before managing, “My Master, no My Master. I wouldn’t dare.” 

“Hmm…” 

He felt very nervous and kept his gaze firmly rooted to the ground awaiting his master’s next comment and tensing as his master began to pet his hair before speaking softly, “Sarameya, you disappoint me. You have never refused to follow a command of mine before. This Jack, he has been a negative influence on you.” 

“No…” 

His master’s voice grew stern as he simply said, “Sarameya…” 

Lowering his head and swallowing hard he quickly apologized, “My Master, I’m sorry, My Master. I meant no disrespect.” 

“You never do, pet. You never do. Yet still you challenge me. Must I send you back to the dungeons, my sweet? Would time back in the dungeons teach you how to be more respectful and obedient to your master, pet? Or shall I discipline you further by extending your time with him?” 

Tensing as he heard the emphasis on “him” and knowing who it was his master was referring to he quickly answered, “My Master, no, My Master…” 

“Then you will please him, and you will not resist him. You will do as I have commanded and you will please him like no other. He will be shown your true talent in the sensual arts.” 

“But I…,” quickly falling silent he bit his tongue aware that he was about to argue further with his master. Closing his eyes tightly he instead chose to say, “My Master, yes, My Master. I will please him as you have asked.” 

“Hmm yes you will, and you will get paid for your services, pet. Perhaps in treating you as your status implies you will learn to respect me again.” 

Lowering his head further he quietly answered, “My Master, yes My Master.” 

He felt a pat to the head before he was ordered to be presentable and await his ‘visitor’. He was scared and nervous. Turning away from the door he gazed towards the window and closed his eyes tightly feeling as if he were preparing to enter into the fiery depths of hell and knowing that he wasn’t too far off with that assessment. 

It was several moments before a light knock on the door had him softly imploring, “You may enter.” 

He listened as the door slid open to admit his guest and tensed further knowing he had no choice but to serve as was commanded of him. His master had decided to rent him out for the night to one of his associates, an associate he feared with all his being. 

Tensing further he jumped as the rope came down over his head to rest against his neck before being drawn taut. He sat tense trying desperately not to move knowing that should he do so the noose would be pulled tighter. It was his guest’s favorite “toy”. 

As the rope was tugged he allowed himself to be pulled back against the man and swallowed hard as his visitor chuckled before saying, “I have missed you, beautiful Syama. Your master has been keeping you on a rather short leash. I was very pleased when he invited me to partake of his favorite pet for the evening.” 

He swallowed hard hissing only to be cut off as the rope was pulled tighter temporarily blocking off his air. As his vision momentarily blanked he heard the question that signaled their time together was about to officially begin, “When you are with me, beautiful Syama, what do you bow to?” 

Licking his lips as he felt the rope loosening slightly he managed, “Naga-pasa, to the naga-pasa...” 

“And what exactly is that?” 

Swallowing harder as the rope again tightened around his throat he managed, “Noose…” 

“Noose of what, Syama?” 

“The noose of…Varuna…” 

“And why must you bow to the noose, Syama?” 

“Because when I serve you I am…” 

His visitor’s breathing increased and he could feel the man’s arousal through the thin silk he wore. His fear only built and as the man whispered in his ear, “When you serve me you are what, Syama? Speak.” 

He felt the fear nearly choke him. As the noose tightened slightly he nodded before responding to his visitor’s inquiry, “Serving in Naraka to pay the penance I owe.” 

“Hmm yes and what _is_ Naraka, Syama?” 

“The lowest world, where the wicked are punished after death...”

“Very good and why must you pay a penance?” 

“Because I have…” without conscious thought he released a deep-throated moan as his visitor’s free hand wrapped around his now hard cock. He didn’t want to respond or react to the man but found he couldn’t resist. As the hand began to gently pump him he felt his insides quiver and soon he was pushing against the one tormenting him. He tried resisting but was urged by strokes and caresses to surrender and as the noose tightened further around his throat he was certain that he would soon explode. 

He felt his head being turned and lips soon came down upon his own, crushing them before the man’s tongue began to trace them, urging stubborn lips to part. He paused in his coaxing to whisper hoarsely, “Come Syama allow me entrance into your pretty mouth.” 

He responded by allowing his head to fall gently back while releasing another drawn out moan and panting as his visitor began to increase the speed of his pumping. Within moments he was gently rolling his head from side to side thrusting into the hand tormenting him and drawing extreme pleasure from what was being done to him. Hearing the man whisper into his ear again he nearly lost it, “Why must you pay a penance, Syama?” 

“Uh, ahh, hmm…because…” 

He stumbled over his reply unable to force the words from his now parted lips finding that he was fast approaching orgasm and as the rope tightened further around his neck he released a strangled cry of bliss shuddering violently as a finger pressed into his perineum. Feeling frustration consume him he began to twist his body only halting when the noose tightened to the point that he could no longer draw air into his lungs. He felt panic consume him and struggled to breath hearing a soft insistent voice urging, “Breathe with me Syama, breathe with me. That is a command, listen to my breathing and do as bid.” 

Forcing his mind to focus and feeling relieved as the tension on the noose lightened up to allow air to enter into his lungs he forced himself to comply with the command given. 

His visitor smiled before whispering, “Good, good, very good Syama. Now I want you to listen very closely to my next command. You will follow my command without question, do you understand?” 

A nod of the head was his response, which urged him to continue, “Very good. Now what I want you to do is continue to match your breathing with mine. Do you understand me, Syama? You breathe WITH me.” 

Another nod urged him to ease up on the noose further before he drew the slave closer while continuing to pump him ever so slowly. Syama was cooperating beautifully now matching his breathing with him and managing to slow his thrusting down to match the rate he was pumping him. As the slave continued to release quiet moans of pleasure he chuckled again before saying, “Do you know what Patala is, Syama?” 

“No My Lord.” 

“It is another name for the lowest realm of the underworld. It is the realm of ultimate physical gratification, a place where one is pushed to and beyond bliss as they are stroked, caressed, licked, kissed, _ridden_ to the height of euphoria and beyond. They are driven to the height of pleasure again and again. They ache to come and come hard when they do. Over and over and over again they are tormented until they are writhing in anguish, writhing in pain as their desire for climax consumes them…” 

He grinned wickedly as Syama began to release soft mewls, already beginning to writhe in his arms as he again increased the rhythm of his pumping. When Syama began to thrust with his pumping he laughed before whispering, “You shall surrender all to me once more, Syama. Come surrender all to me. Come.” 

And he did, **hard** , nearly screaming as he climaxed powerfully against his guest before becoming languid in the man’s arms. 

Instead of removing his hand he cupped Syama tightly pinning him in place while adding more tension to the rope around his neck and whispered harshly, “Next time you will be mounted, Syama. I will take you like the beast you are. You will remain on all fours, and you will be ridden fast and hard. I will spare no mercy for you, and you will enjoy _everything_ I do to you. I promise you that.” 

Without conscious thought he released a soft moan as he felt a spike of pleasure grip him as his pelvic muscles tightened. When a finger grazed across his slit he shuddered in response feeling pre-cum slip out as a result of the stimulation. His visitor chuckled again before saying rather loudly, “I do believe you are becoming excited again, pretty one. Hmm shall I take you now, or is it much too soon for you?” 

Mentally cursing his body’s need to respond to his tormentor he released a hoarse, “Please…” in reply to the question posed and squeezed his eyes tightly shut as the man’s quiet taunting voice filled his ear with, “Not yet, Syama, not yet. When I ride you I want a willing body beneath me not one that has already been spent, so we will wait. We will wait, pretty pet.” 

Rocking his hips ever so slightly into the hand still gripping him he released a breathless, “Hmm yes My Lord. We will wait,” nearly panting as his tormenter began to gently rub him, before twisting as the pressure became more than a little painful on his oversensitive cock. 

The moment he began to twist releasing a soft grimace was the moment his visitor ceased caressing his cock and instead chose to begin brushing his hand ever so lightly across his inner right thigh. He whispered, “Yes we will wait, for you are not yet ready.” 

Syama nodded before finding himself relaxing further against the one imprisoning him in his arms. He knew that he should be resisting and fighting, hell screaming, to be released but found that all he wanted at the moment was to be touched. 

Feeling the tension ease on the rope he released a sigh before settling further against the man, closing his eyes as he drew comfort from the closeness being offered. He knew that he should feel dirty and angry but at the moment he just wanted to revel in the tender touch that he seldom felt at any other time. Later he would deal with the shame and guilt that came with serving one in the bed chamber, much _later_. Right now he’d willingly accept the touch that at the moment made him feel as if he actually existed, as if he were actually _important_ to someone, for he seldom experienced such things. 

As if reading his thoughts his visitor asked, “Syama does your master provide you with comfort? Does he _touch_ you in the way a lover does? Does he _show_ you that you are precious to him, or does he only come to you when he desires to be pleasured? I sense that he is concerned only with himself and that saddens me. You should be cherished and loved. You should be cared for not locked away only to appear when your master permits it. He should spend countless hours lavishing every inch of your luscious body. He should spend countless hours touching and stroking you hour upon hour, but I sense that he does no such thing. Ah, my beautiful Syama you live a lonely life. If only I could take you away from this place and show you what it means to be loved and cherished. Ah to know love, Syama, to feel it…that is a truly magnificent thing. I only hope that one day you too will experience it. Yes, perhaps someday, perhaps…” 

He fell silent as he held the slave in his arms simply enjoying the physical contact. Yes, Syama was always pleasing to him. He never failed to be so. He would pay the slave well tonight for Mara had no knowledge of just how privileged one felt to simply hold the beautiful slave in their arms. It was a shame, really, an utter shame… 

* *

It was several hours before Daniel found himself alone in his room again. He sat in the center of the bed with his legs drawn up against him, his arms wrapped tightly around himself as he rocked staring blankly at the wall before him. He didn’t move until he heard the door softly creak open, swallowing hard he turned, slightly surprised to see Narayana enter instead of his master. 

Upon seeing him Narayana quickly approached lowering before him as he quietly inquired, “Daniel, did he hurt you?” 

“No. No, he didn’t, no.” 

“But?” 

“It hurts Narayana. It hurts so much more than it should.” 

Concerned Narayana brushed a stray strand of hair off Daniel’s forehead as he softly prodded, “What hurts?” 

As Daniel slowly raised his left hand and placed it firmly over his heart Narayana felt as if he were just kicked in the gut and instantly drew the young man into his arms rocking him ever so slightly as he replied, “Ah Daniel I know. I know.” 

Daniel said nothing only closed his eyes against the moisture that threatened to slide down his cheeks feeling the pain in his heart only continue to build. 

* *

It took some time before Daniel found the strength to face Jack O’Neill again. He was nervous, anxious, scared and deeply ashamed of himself. He didn’t like to experience shame, so he buried the emotion so far down determined to face Jack head on. As Daniel entered he found he couldn’t look at Jack. He started to turn intent on leaving fearing he wouldn’t be able to speak with Jack after what had happened only hours before in his bed chamber when he heard the soft call, “Daniel…” 

Drawing in a sharp breath he forced himself to turn and gaze at Jack ignoring the sudden stinging at the corners of his eyes as he focused intently on him. As Jack managed, “Ah Daniel come here,” he found himself moving of his own accord and mindless of the bars separating them quickly stepped into the arms outstretched towards him. Regardless of the bars between them Jack wrapped his arms around him and allowed the silence to stretch for several moments before interrupting it with, “How long were you trained, Daniel?” 

He glanced up startled by the question expecting one far more personal than that and related to the events that had so recently transpired in his bed chamber. Shaking his head in surprise he managed somehow to answer, “Two, two years. I served eight months in the cage and the rest…learning how to be pleasing to men and women alike. I’ve been thoroughly trained in the sensual arts.” 

“Two years?” 

“Yes.” 

“Why?” 

“Because my master wanted to ensure that when I surrendered to him I would belong to him body and soul.” 

“And do you?” 

“I have no freedom and no rights, except those he grants me. I obey usually without question. I serve him in all things. I belong to him and bear his mark. I willingly bow to my lord and master…and even though I desire to be free, even though I don’t want to be here I still surrender all to him. What does that tell you, Jack?” 

Hissing he felt two fingers gently urge his face up. He glanced briefly at Jack before down casting his eyes again quietly relishing in the feel of Jack’s thumb as it tenderly brushed his jaw line. He swallowed hard before the man before him broke the tense silence yet again, “That he has a very tight hold on you…” 

Lowering his head again he managed, “I’ve been with him for a long time, Jack, for many…many years. I…he… I know no other world except the one I have lived, still live in with him.” 

“You told me you weren’t always a slave…” 

“I wasn’t, not when I was younger.” 

“So you do know that there’s more to life than living in servitude.” 

“I try not to think about it, Jack. It hurts too much to think of all that I’ve lost to him, so I make myself forget. It’s the easiest way for me to cope with what my life has become.” 

“It may be the easiest way, Daniel, but should you really avoid it?” 

“What?” 

“Should…” 

“Yes. Yes, Jack.” 

“Why?” 

“I learned a long time ago that it’s best not to dwell on what might have been, could have been or should have been. It took me several years to accept who I was to be. Those years were hell, Jack, and I care not to repeat them. I know who I am. I know what I am. I know what I can have and ignore what I want. Why, because slaves don’t desire _anything_ … They’re not permitted to Jack, and once you accept that life runs a lot smoother.” 

“But Daniel…” 

Shaking his head he uttered words he was tired of uttering again and again, “There is no other life for me, Jack. That’s just the way it is for me. Whether it’s fair or just doesn’t matter. I must serve a lifetime. My owner ordains that, my status assures that. I’m property. I’m owned. I’m a belonging, Jack, therefore I will always serve. My only right in this life _is_ to serve. There’s simply no other life for me. There can never be any other life for me. I’m not entitled to it.” 

“But you were once _free_ , Daniel. How can you accept that you’re property now? You were free, and you can be again. Why can’t you believe that? Why are you so certain that you’re nothing more than a belonging?” 

“Because I am, Jack, and have been since I was a boy. I’ve known no other life than the one I now lead. I don’t recall much of anything before my capture. I remember them dying, and I remember wanting to die alongside them. I remember fighting, and I remember what life with them had been like, but other than that Jack? Other than that…? I don’t remember, Jack. I _don’t_ remember. I had to force myself to accept my status. I spent years trying to find my place in the world, trying to accept my place. Every time I dared to even think of freedom I suffered for it, Jack. I suffered. I was beaten. I was punished until I learned what I was. I was treated no better than an animal in those early years, Jack. It was his way, _his way_ of instilling in me what I am. Those lessons were very hard, Jack. I paid a high price to learn them, to accept them. I will never forget them. I will never forget what my status is. I know my place, and I know it will _never_ change. I accept that. I have no choice BUT to accept that, Jack. And you, you don’t seem to be able to comprehend that. You don’t seem to be able to understand just what that means. How many times do Narayana and I have to explain this very thing to you before you understand it? Why can’t you accept it? Why do you have to always question? Why do you always have to confuse me so very much? Why, Jack? Why?” 

“Daniel…” 

He shook his head before lowering his gaze and saying, “I have to go, Jack. I’ll see you in the morning. I can’t…I can’t do this right now. I just can’t do it. I just…” 

Turning abruptly he fled the dungeon and ran back to his room wondering what ever had possessed him to visit Jack so soon after serving in the bed chamber. Once in his room he threw himself on his bed. He then drew the covers over himself before curling inward again bringing his hand to his chest where he began to gently rub as the ache within only continued to build. Closing his eyes he attempted to sleep but found it extremely evasive as his mind dredged up memories of a time long ago when he had first arrived at the great palace of Kalachi. Tossing he remembered his master’s words on the day he had been sentenced to serve in the dungeons for daring to refuse him. He tried to silence the memories but found that they were anything but elusive this night. Instead they played out as if to remind him again of what he had been taught so very long ago.

 

_My sentencing was a simple statement, a statement that literally terrified me, for even though I was so very young I still knew what it meant for me. I would suffer until he felt I had adequately learned that which he was trying to instill in me. At that time I think his plan was to attempt to bend me to his will. I don’t believe he wanted to destroy me…until I attempted to flee him. After that things became so much worse, after that my suffering only increased and that sentence he had passed on me continued to ring loudly in my ears…_

_**“You will be cast into Ksarakardama for refusing to show proper respect to your master and owner. You will suffer many tribulations that will teach you of what you are, of what your true purpose in this life is. You will serve me there until you accept your proper station in this life, beast.”** _

_Little did I realize at the time that what he meant was I would surrender all to him, bow to his rule and offer absolute obedience to the one who now owned me or I would die for my refusal. Little did I realize that while he was punishing me I would have to sacrifice my innocence to appease him, and little did I realize that in the end I would willingly become completely accepting of my proper station in life: **his** property, totally and completely. _

_Innocence was something I had at one time possessed, and it was one of the first things to be sacrificed upon surrendering to him. I had been captured at a rather young age, captured and imprisoned, unaware of what had truly happened to me, unaware of the danger I was in and of the direction my life would take. I had been naïve and innocent believing that people were not all evil, believing that somewhere in them was the capacity to do good, to be good. I had been foolish. I hadn’t realized just what my capture had meant for me. I knew that I was in danger, but I never feared that I’d remain lost._

_When I was purchased I still possessed that innocence. I still believed that there was such a thing as hope. I hadn’t had it all dashed. In the first few months I struggled with trying to accept the direction my life was taking. I struggled with trying to hold onto hope. When I was propositioned I immediately refused determined to remain free and strong. I wouldn’t surrender at any cost. As a result I had again been proven a fool, for upon my refusal I found myself cast down into the deepest darkest pit in my owner’s dungeons and was given a very thorough education in what exactly hell was. My innocence began to wane and to fade. I started slipping deeper and deeper into despair. I began to lose myself, who I was as I faced day after day in utter darkness, scrambling about for scraps to eat, huddling in a dank damp corner rocking, always rocking, receiving nothing even when I begged for a blanket to stay warm, a drop of water to drink, a scrap of food to eat. I was ignored. I was abandoned. I was kept always in need, always in want, always on the verge because that is what my master desired of me. My time in the dungeons taught me a very important lesson: that I was property and that I was dependent on my owner for **everything**. _

_I initially fought against those lessons, refusing to accept them and each day I’d try to prove myself wrong only to be faced again with the stark realization that I was reliant on the man who had purchased me for my very life. The impact of that realization is what made my grasp on innocence disappear. When I felt it sliding through my fingers I chose to run but each time was recaptured. Still I was not to be dissuaded until my owner in his rage and anger threw me to the wolves, forcing me to literally walk through hell. He had shown mercy to others but none was spared for me as they hit me and kicked me, as they beat me and pummeled me. There was no mercy shown to me on that day and as I reached that sharply drawn line in the sand forcing legs that refused to support me to move I crossed over it and collapsed at the feet of the one who had stripped me of my innocence, showed me what suffering truly was and provided me with an education on the true meaning of defeat. After that day my innocence was lost, having been an unfortunate victim of the cruelty of men. I had none left after that and soon I fell into the web of corruption and deceit that would nearly tear out my very soul._

_After that loss surrendering to my master was an easy choice to make. I could either surrender all to him, accepting that he had full control over my very life or I could return to the dungeons where I’d again be abandoned and left to die a most painfully slow death. I chose the former and never expected that a single inkling of innocence remained in my body…until more of it was destroyed as I was forced to undergo intense training on how to please men and women alike. After that I quickly learned that for me no such thing as modesty existed, no such thing as privacy existed, instead my life would consist of spending many hours naked on my back or on my knees willingly offering my body for the pleasure of others. For me my life would consist of serving all and being fully and completely submissive to all. For me there would be no life at all, for I was owned and controlled completely by another. I was ruled over and would never know what freedom was again, for a slave is never free and a slave serves unto death the whims of another._

* * * *

One Week Later… 

Hearing the door open to admit his visitor Daniel nearly panicked. He couldn’t do this again, could he? He swallowed hard remembering vividly what he was told during his last visit: that he would be taken like the beast that he was on all fours, mounted like a dog, used like an animal instead of a human being. He wanted to be angry, to be outraged but instead he found he was excited. Hating him self even more he could only shake his head. He was trained for this very thing, trained for years on end in the sensual arts. He was trained to receive pleasure and to give it. It was his master’s wishes and all he could do was abide by them. 

He moaned softly as he felt the rope settle down over his head to rest lightly against his vulnerable throat and as the tightness on the noose increased his moan grew deeper, his body more languid. As the man breathlessly whispered, “Tell me how you want me to fuck you, Syama,” he felt his body quiver with delight and knew that he would soon become lost. 

Swallowing hard he licked his lips knowing what he was expected to say. He had been told what would occur on the next visit, so clenching his eyes shut tightly he waited for the tension on the rope to ease, feeling it he answered, “Fast and hard, My Lord, just as you have stated.” 

“Yes and how shall I take you, Syama?” 

“On hands and knees…” 

“Like?” 

Lowering his head further he continued, “Like the beast that I am.” 

“Very good, Syama, I am very pleased that you have remembered my request.” 

“My Lord, thank you, My Lord.” 

“You may now lower.” 

Feeling the tension on the noose lessen considerably he lowered to his elbows before raising his hips. He then parted his thighs and arched his back to force his hips even higher into the air before pressing his forehead firmly into the mattress he was perched upon thus fully exposing himself to his visitor’s view. 

His guest inhaled sharply admiring the man kneeling before him. He was a most perfect specimen both beautiful and muscular. The man was perfect and he could hardly contain his enthusiasm. He noticed the way the man had lowered, forcing his attributes into the air thus showing him what his master owned. The red silk fell like a curtain down over the sinewy body bunching up about his shoulders from the position he was reclined in. His body was now open, displayed for the taking. 

Clearing his throat his voice took on a roughened edge as he said, “You are indeed a most beautiful creature. Your master is lucky to own you. Does he too own your body or does your body still belong _only_ to you?” 

“My body is not mine to yield it belongs to my master as do I, therefore whatever is done to this body is done by my master’s will alone.” 

“And your master desires this body to be breached, to be rented and to be pleasured?” 

“Yes.” 

“And what do _you_ desire of this body?” 

“I have no say in its usage as I have already said. I do not own my body. It belongs only to my master, for it is he who owns me.” 

“Yes he does, and do you honor him as a pet should?” 

Inhaling sharply he managed, “I…try to honor him as best I can.” 

“You _try_?” 

“Yes, My Lord, I try.” 

“But you do not _do_?” 

“Not always, My Lord. No.” 

“Then perhaps this is why he has sentenced you to serve time in Naraka. When with me you are subjugated. You yield your body, you yield yourself to me. When in this room you bow to the power of the naga-pasa. When in this room you serve penance for your sins against your master.” 

Feeling his guest’s hands upon him, aware that he was preparing to be breached he offered a quiet placating, “My Lord, yes My Lord,” before closing his eyes and bracing himself for penetration… 

 

_Naraka he says. I must serve time in Naraka. For what you might ask? For my crimes against My Lord and Master, of course._

_Naraka is a Hindu term. It is the Hindu underworld, the Hindu version of hell. He says I must pay a penance, that I must be purged of my sins, but what sins must I be purged of? I have no say in whether or not I will serve another. It’s a command so for me is that still considered a sin? To join with someone, to draw carnal pleasure from one I am forced by My Master to please? If it is a sin then I say that Naraka is a twisted place, for how can you punish someone who’s already been punished?_

_Naraka has many intricate levels, and I believe I have been cast into several, but never is it as a result of what I have done. Rather it is a result of what My Master has done, so why then do I pay penance for HIS crimes?_

_Why? His answer is simple and harsh: **“Because you are an object I choose to abuse, Sarameya, because you belong to me body and soul.”** _

_I shudder in response to those simple words, for they strike such fear deep within me, fear that I will never become anything more than a beast who shall suffer throughout all eternity._

_Naraka, he says I must serve time in Naraka, but I already do. I have spent most of my life serving in Naraka, so when may I ask will my penance be served? When may I ask will I finally be **free**?_


	5. Thorns of Love

**THORNS OF LOVE**

_Shame is a term I know very well. It’s a term I really wish I had no knowledge of. It was one of the first things I had experienced upon surrendering and one of the first things I came to know extremely intimately, far too intimately for my own liking… **shame** , a five letter word that I had learned to despise and loathe. _

_Many when they see me now would find it quite a challenge to accept that I know what shame is, for I never carry myself as such. Instead, I bury it. I shove it so far down inside that I have nearly destroyed it. Why? Because it brings about so many other feelings and emotions I despise and it makes me think of things I’d rather not. That five letter word has the power, the ability, to completely destroy me **if** I allow it to. I have no time to spend dwelling on it, for I have no power to change the course of my life. My life is what it is, and I’m powerless to change it. I have spent years fighting the inevitable, resisting my fate, resisting what was planned and have met repeatedly with failure and after my capture shame became my constant companion, one I despise with all of my being. _

_Many believe that I have never experienced the devastating power of shame. They see me now after years and years of battling against it, wrestling with my conscience, struggling with the stark reality that I will spend much of my life either on my back or on my knees always serving the whims of others exhibiting little if any emotion at all. What they see is my calm acceptance. They see my open willingness to do anything and everything commanded of me. What they see is my convincing façade that hides behind it my true desires and needs. What they see is a mask that disguises my true self and keeps it hidden so as to preserve it from the harsh reality of my present existence. What they don’t see is that I have no choice. What they don’t see is that I’m trapped and therefore sentenced to a lifetime of dancing with that five letter word I so despise: shame. When others look at me they don’t see the turmoil, the pain and anguish, the suffering I deal with on a daily basis. When others look at me they only see a servant who obeys without question, a slave who has no rights save those my master chooses to grant me. They see an animal. They see property, but they never see **me**. _

_Jack sees me, but Jack also sees a man who seems overly accepting of his fate. He sees a man who seems so willing to obey and to serve without question and he never sees beyond that. Jack can’t comprehend what my life has been like. Jack can’t understand why I’m so eager to serve. Jack doesn’t understand why I do everything in my power to appease my master and to please him. Jack doesn’t understand what life as a slave entails. He believes that everyone is free to do as they wish and those that serve the whims of others have for some strange reason elected to do so. He believes that everyone has **choices**. He believes that everyone has **free will** and the idea that someone might be denied such a privilege has never crossed Jack O’Neill’s mind. The concept is a foreign one to him, and he doesn’t understand that not all men or women are created equal. He chooses to believe the fantasy, the lie that everyone is equal and there is no such thing as inequality for to admit that there is would mean he’d be required to change his whole way of thinking. He chooses to remain ignorant to the cold ugly truth that slavery exists and that many people live in constant oppression. _

_The idea that a slave could know and understand shame is foreign to most people because when they see a person willingly do the bidding of others they neglect to look beyond that and to see the world of hurt and rage that boils just beneath the surface. They neglect to see the torment that the oppressed keep buried deep down inside._

_Jack doesn’t believe that I know what shame is and he is so very wrong, but I’ll never bring it up for fear of its destructive power over me. If I admit to it then I could unleash it and I fear that I no longer possess the strength it would take to face it and bury it once more, so I keep it suppressed. I keep it buried so far down beneath layers of self-doubt, anger, rage and guilt. I keep it hidden out of sight, out of mind beneath my fear, my disgust and my despair for it has the power to drive me so far down that I fear I’d never be able to find myself again._

_Shame, I dance daily with it having learned years ago how to keep it out of sight and out of mind. I keep it controlled, buried, hidden, on the very brink of destruction and some days it seems to disappear, to vanish without a trace…but then it returns in an instant when I again find myself naked on hands and knees bowing with my legs spread wide as I’m forced to willingly offer my body for the pleasure of others. It’s on those days I truly feel shame rise again as I surrender all to the one choosing to master me. It’s on those days that I’m coldly reminded of just what I am as I eagerly respond to the one using me strictly for their pleasure, and it’s on those particular days when I remember that I’m merely a high-class whore serving the whims of my master and owner, a high-class whore who draws way too much pleasure from fucking anyone and everyone my master commands of me. Shame is one of the many words I now know intimately and I hate and despise having such knowledge of a word that could easily destroy me._

 

As he was brought to the dining hall he glanced up to see Mara sitting at the head of the table. Mara greeted, “Ah yes welcome. Sit. Sit.” 

He slowly lowered to his seat hearing the chains encircling him rattle and clink as he did so. Without hesitation he asked, “Why am I here?” 

“Ah yes the direct approach. SYAMA!” 

Almost immediately Jack heard the jingling of bells and as he glanced up he watched Daniel glide to his master’s side before softly asking, “What does My Master require of me?” 

“Please bring me my wine.” 

An elegant bow and the soft clanging of bells indicated the slave’s immediate obedience to the command. 

Shaking his head he asked again, “What do you want, seriously?” 

Mara grinned focusing intently on him. He didn’t even move when the soft bells again sounded indicating Daniel’s return to his side. Instead of accepting the wine the young man held in his hands he simply ordered, “Syama, kneel.” 

Immediately the man lowered to the floor widening his knees and sitting back on his heels before pressing the cup of wine firmly against his belly. Jack thought it strange to see. As if Mara read his thoughts he said, “My slave he intrigues you much. I have permitted him to visit with you daily. Do you find his company enjoyable?” 

“Yes very much.” 

“That is good for if you did not then I would be forced to beat him for his failure.” 

Jack flinched before questioning, _“Excuse me?”_

“Syama serves all. He is superior to no one save lower ranked slaves. His duty is to serve all and to be pleasing to all.” 

Offended by such a statement Jack had to rein in his rage before forcing himself to respond in a calm voice, “And just why is that, may I ask?” 

Mara’s grin widened as he noted the displeasure in the man before him and quickly answered, “Because he is a slave, of course. Syama, my wine please…” 

_Because he is a slave?_ That was the bastard’s answer? Because he was a slave he was required to be pleasing to all? What the fuck? 

As Daniel moved he glanced up watching as he proceeded to lift the cup of wine to his lips before pressing them firmly to the glass. He then elegantly lowered his head before extending his arms outward to offer the proffered drink to his master. Mara smiled and accepted the offered cup drinking from it before returning it to Daniel’s hands. Daniel thanked him for allowing him to serve then returned the cup to his belly, pressing it firmly against him. What the hell? 

Mara smiled again amused by the facial expressions crossing the prisoner’s face. He looked at Syama and his smile widened, for the man was silently awaiting his request for more drink. His posture was relaxed yet beautiful and his expression blank, for Syama was very used to serving as he now was. He was pleased. 

Turning back to the prisoner he said, “I have a proposal for you.” 

Jack was watching Daniel and saw the slightest tension ripple through him upon that statement being uttered. He knew what Daniel was thinking and cautiously gazed at Mara as he questioned, “And what’s that?” 

“I would like you to serve me.” 

“Hell no.” 

“Do not be so quick to deny me until you have heard how I desire you to serve.” 

“I’m not…” 

“SILENCE!” 

Jack glanced briefly at Daniel noticing the tension in him had increased. He then turned back to focus on Mara noticing that his expression was now cold, hard and waited for the man to speak. 

“Your choices are simple. You may spend your life serving always in the dungeons or you may serve me here within the palace walls during the day.” 

“Doing what?” 

“Manual labor, of course… You will help my men with various tasks. You will be under Narayana’s control. If you fail me, you fail him.” 

“And if I refuse?” 

“Then you will remain in the dungeons, of course. I have no real use for a prisoner who has the ability to work but refuses. Your life could become forfeit if I find I have no further need of you.” 

“No.” 

“No? Perhaps you do not understand what it is I am offering you. You have a choice to work within the palace walls during the day and be returned to your cell each night or to spend the rest of your life in the dungeons. This offer will not be extended again.” 

He mentally cursed wanting to refuse but knowing it would not only give him the opportunity to get away from his cell for a time but give him an opportunity to figure out the lay of the palace to plan his escape. It would also get him closer to Daniel, albeit they most likely wouldn’t be permitted to speak outside of the dungeons. 

He gazed at Daniel again briefly before focusing completely on Mara. He swallowed hard before nodding his head in agreement. 

Mara smiled before continuing, “You will serve under Narayana. He is a fair and just man. He will tell you what is and is not permitted. He will supervise you as much as he is able. He will not be with you always, for he also guards my most favored, as you well know. For now you will be returned to your cell. Tomorrow we shall begin your service to me. Narayana…?” 

Jack was a bit surprised when Narayana was instantly at his side. He had been unaware of the Jaffa’s presence. He should have known that where Daniel was Narayana would also be. 

Upon his appearance Mara commanded, “Return him to his cell immediately. Tomorrow you will begin to train him in the ways of a work slave.” 

Jack again glanced at Daniel noticing how the tension again seemed to build in his body upon that pronouncement. His attention was then drawn to Mara as he snapped, “Dismissed!” 

Narayana bowed before guiding Jack out of the room. As he glanced once more behind him he noted that Daniel still remained kneeling beside his master holding his wine glass. 

Once back to the dungeons Narayana paused focusing on O’Neill before saying, “O’Neill?” 

“Yeah…?” 

“You must not fail the master. If he requests you do something you must do so immediately.” 

Jack eyed him up wearily sensing there was something left unsaid. Wanting to know what it was and sensing Narayana wouldn’t tell him he suspiciously questioned, “Why? What happens if I don’t? Narayana…?” 

He hesitated before answering, “The price of refusal is that Daniel will suffer.” 

“WHAT?” 

“This he neglected to inform you of.” 

Shaking his head he demanded, “Why? Why Daniel?” 

“It is the way he chooses to control, to make you responsible for another. In so doing he enforces his control over another.” 

“But why does Daniel have to…?” 

“Daniel is the highest ranked slave in Mara’s service. He is responsible for all those below him. If they disobey he is held responsible. He is required to either state their punishment or retrain them properly. It is his duty as most favored to assure that all others will obey their master as he. Upon your agreement to Mara’s terms you have received the rank of slave though rarely you will be addressed as such. He has placed you under my supervision, and I am responsible for training you. Though you will now serve under me you must also serve under Daniel, for your status now places you in a lower rank than his. Daniel is now your direct superior for he is the highest ranked slave in the household. All others therefore must obey him.” 

Certain he already knew the answer but wanting it confirmed he asked in a voice edged with tension, “And if they don’t?” 

A haunted look briefly graced Narayana’s face before it vanished to be replaced with an unreadable one as he answered, “Very few disobey Daniel.” 

“Why?” 

“The consequence is far too grave.” 

“And what’s the consequence, Narayana?” 

Shaking his head dismissively he opted simply for, “They will not disobey him, O’Neill. They respect him too much. They care for him too much.” 

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” 

“You will soon find out, O’Neill.” 

“He, does he… Narayana, does he…?” 

Locking gazes with O’Neill Narayana repeated, “They will not disobey him.” 

With that said he turned and quickly left the room leaving Jack feeling suddenly very fearful for Daniel, certain that what Narayana omitted revolved around Daniel being hurt in some way, shape or form for another’s disobedience, and that didn’t sit well with him at all. 

* *

Daniel arrived several hours later smiling as he approached Jack. He asked, “How are you?” 

Jumping to his feet and quickly approaching he answered, “Fine,” while subconsciously sweeping a cursory glance up and down the length of Daniel’s body silently affirming he had no visible marks and shuddering as he realized what he was doing. 

As Daniel spoke he focused intently on him, “I’m sorry that My Master has required you serve.” 

Shaking his head dismissively he opened his mouth in preparation to ask about what Narayana had told him earlier but found that all he could say was, “Daniel about that…kissing the cup thing…” 

Swallowing dryly he quickly answered, “It’s a requirement, Jack. I must do that before serving him.” 

“Why?” 

“To show I honor him, to show him I know my place…” 

“But…” 

“There are many things I’m required to do when serving that’s but one.” 

Sensing he had an opening he boldly questioned, “What would happen if you failed to do that?” 

“If I was lucky and my master was feeling merciful a simple rebuke...” 

“And if not?” 

“Most likely a lashing or a beating I’d not soon forget. Confinement is another possible punishment or he’ll order me to…grovel for him, whatever he desires I must do.” 

_And what happens if the others disobey you?_

The question was on the tip of his tongue but again he found he could only manage, “That’s crazy!” 

“That’s the consequence of displeasure or failure, Jack.” 

Tensing he gently prodded, “Is that your only other duty?”

“No. No. You know my main…purpose.” 

“Yes.” 

“That isn’t the only…purpose I serve. I was trained thoroughly. Most of my young life I was trained to serve in all capacities, serving My Master his wine is but one of many, many duties I’m required and expected to perform. I’m a pleasure slave, yes, but that means simply that I have been trained more extensively then all others. Every duty a lower ranked slave performs I can perform. You don’t become the highest ranked slave just by being appointed the master’s favored one. You must be trained in all levels of service, and you must be able to perform any command given you without hesitation.” 

“So I should expect to see you perform any number of things while I work?” 

“Yes. Usually if you see me the master will be close by. Remember that Jack because he’s always watching and waiting. He likes to perform surprise checks on work being done and if he catches you slacking at all he will punish you for the infraction. If you see me he’s close by. I must also warn you of one other thing…” 

“And what’s that?” 

Lowering his gaze he swallowed hard before answering, “If you see him disciplining me in any way you can’t interfere _at all_ , Jack.” 

“Why?” he snapped. 

“Because I will suffer as a result… If anyone attempts to interfere when he’s disciplining me I’m the one who suffers for it. Please, Jack, don’t interfere. I can usually appease him and dispense some of his anger by behaving in certain ways but if someone dares interfere he loses all control and I can’t break through his rage when that occurs. Please don’t interfere, Jack. Please.” 

“Why do you suffer if someone else interferes?” 

Lowering his gaze he nervously licked his lips before answering, “The guards are very protective of me. My Master encourages that, but he didn’t always. There was a time he ordered them, commanded them to show me no mercy. At the time they didn’t know me to them I was a pathetic worthless slave who angered the master. I was nothing to them, and I was treated as nothing by them…” 

“What made that change?” 

Daniel glanced at Jack briefly before shaking his head and answering, “You already know the answer to that question, Jack.” 

“Because you showed strength in defeat and…” 

“Earned their respect as a result, yes…after that they became very protective of me, I didn’t understand why but any time the master would try to discipline me…they’d stop him. They’d divert his attention. They’d interfere and he would grow angry. He would order them to leave or to stay out of his affairs but still they would try to aid me. His solution was to devise a new strategy that was sure to keep them from interfering ever again.” 

“And what was the solution?” 

Swallowing hard Daniel intensely gazed at Jack as he replied, “If they dared to interfere in any way I would suffer as a result.” 

Tensing Jack managed a strained, “And how exactly did he implement that rule?” 

He broke eye contact then unable to look at Jack for the span of a heartbeat before hardening his resolve, refocusing and answering, “By showing them what would happen if they interfered. The, he, they… When one guard…he… He was disciplining me for accidentally spilling his wine…one of the guards stepped forward…and My Master retaliated by removing his belt and brandishing it none to gently across my back repeatedly until I collapsed before him. The guards were ordered, commanded to not interfere, to leave me lay there and if they dared try to come to my side, if they dared to try to tend to me…he brandished the belt again. I…they said he belted me so severely that night that I had welts all over my body, blood, my blood they said stained the floor and the wall where he…disciplined me. Very few dare to enter that section of the hallway any longer.” 

“Why?” managed Jack. 

“Because my blood still stains the wall and floor there, Jack, he left it there ordered them not to clean it up so it would serve…as a reminder to them of the consequence should they dare to lend me aid without his direct permission.” 

Blanching Jack shook his head managing, “That’s sadistic Daniel he…why?” 

“You tell me Jack.” 

Shaking his head he commented, “I’ve never seen any scars on you that indicated a beating that extensive.” 

“He owns a healing device, Jack. He used to use it on me often. He hasn’t had to use it in many, many years because I haven’t defied him enough to be beaten so severely.” 

“And that’s supposed to make me feel better?” 

“No, no Jack I’m just saying…” 

“He still hurts you, Daniel.” 

“No, he disciplines me, Jack.” 

“Daniel…” 

“Jack, don’t start. Please. Don’t argue about this.” 

“Daniel he abuses you and you…” 

“Jack please just let it go.” 

“But Daniel…” 

“Please Jack, for now just let it go. Please.” 

“Oh…okay, Daniel, okay but someday…” 

“I’m going to have to tell you. Yes I know. Narayana and I have already had this conversation.” 

That brought a slight smile to Jack’s lips as he answered, “Have you now?” 

“Yes.” 

“And what did he say?” 

“He feels much like you…but not now, Jack. This isn’t the time or the place to be discussing the darker times of my service to him.” 

Lifting his head slightly he softly inquired, “Were there many?” 

Daniel swallowed convulsively before answering in a tight voice, “Many what Jack?” 

“Dark times during your service to him?” 

Daniel said nothing only bowed his head allowing silence to fall between them and stretch before breaking it with, “More than you will ever know, Jack.” 

He exhaled slowly feeling as if Daniel had just sucker punched him in the gut aware of what those words meant and wanting so much to inquire further but forced his questions into silence. There would come a time when he would seek those answers from Daniel eventually, but that time was not now. Lifting his gaze to Daniel’s he nodded his head and left the subject drop entirely, unable to miss the relief that flashed across Daniel’s too pale face in response. 

* * * *

Working in the palace wasn’t all that bad. It gave him time away from his cell and kept him from becoming bored. He felt much better when he was able to work instead of pace the small confines of his cell trying to plan an escape. Though he hated to agree to Mara’s terms he was thankful he did, for he had been slowly losing himself in that place. Now? Now at least he got a break from it and was able to breathe some fresh air. 

The tasks he was given were menial: scrubbing floors, washing dishes, fixing broken equipment and other things along those lines that basically equaled out to household chores, but he wasn’t complaining. It was better than the alternative, and it also got him closer to Daniel. He enjoyed being able to see Daniel as he worked and served. It had angered him so much at first, but through observing Daniel he was able to gain a better understanding of him and the life he led. Daniel worked hard, harder than one would expect a “favored one” to work. As he watched him he noticed that Daniel could do so many different things and would even stop to help the other servants with their chores when his master wasn’t breathing down his neck. 

He also noticed how comfortable Mara was with Daniel by his side. He would often speak very freely about issues a servant should have little, if any, knowledge of without a second thought. It surprised him. He doubted there were many other masters out there who spoke so freely in front of servants. Even now Mara was discussing business and Daniel was kneeling by his side. He wasn’t speaking or moving merely kneeling, but he knew that Daniel was listening to every word being said. Shaking his head he turned his attention back to the job at hand deciding that debating about Daniel was distracting him just a little too much. 

As he worked on scrubbing the floor he glanced up to see Mara at the head of the table and Daniel kneeling at his side. He watched as Mara spoke with a visitor noticing how Daniel remained: silent, still, seemingly relaxed kneeling as he now was. He had noticed before when Daniel had served Mara wine how comfortable he looked in that position and sensed that Daniel had assumed such a position so often in his life that he was used to it now, so used to it that it was almost second nature to him. Without hesitation he went into the position and sat so still, so very quiet. He knew if it had been him in that position he would have been unable to maintain it for as long as Daniel without moving multiple times. 

Returning his focus to the task at hand he continued to scrub finding his eyes again drifting to observe Daniel, watching as in the middle of speaking Mara turned to Daniel and extended a grape to him that Daniel ate from his hand. What the hell? 

He continued to watch noticing how Mara would continue speaking while Daniel remained silent and still at his feet. As he spoke he would occasionally turn to offer Daniel food from his hand and Daniel would eat from it every time. He felt anger and rage fill him at witnessing the scene. 

Returning his gaze to Mara he observed the man pour wine into a small bowl, confused by the action, he was a bit surprised when he preceded to hand the small bowl to Daniel who softly thanked him before drinking the contents then returning the bowl again to his master. Why would Daniel allow that? 

Shaking his head, aware that he was staring, he quickly lowered his gaze and returned to scrubbing determined to ask Daniel that very question later. He found it very difficult to comprehend and again wondered why Daniel would accept being hand fed by his master. 

Several hours went by before Narayana came to collect him and return him to his cell. As he glanced around the dim interior he found himself again wondering why Daniel would accept being hand fed. Wasn’t he permitted to eat at the table? And if not, why? Had he observed a typical meal for Daniel? 

He was confused by what he had witnessed earlier and practically jumped as the man currently occupying his thoughts entered before approaching. Focusing on him he noticed the soft smile Daniel seemed to hold in reserve only for him and his heart melted. Unconsciously he moved towards Daniel gazing at the beautiful man before opening his mouth to greet him. Instead he found himself posing the question that had bothered him all evening, “ 

“Daniel, why did you eat from Mara’s hand earlier?” 

Daniel blushed cocking his head before answering, “It was my supper, Jack.” 

“And you couldn’t sit at the table like a normal person to eat?” 

Regarding Jack with open fondness he answered, “I’m not a normal person, Jack, I’m a slave.” 

“You allowed him to feed you… _by hand_ , Daniel.” 

Nodding he continued, “Jack, I eat when he decides and how he decides. If I don’t, I go hungry. When he offers me food from his hand I graciously accept it. I don’t refuse it.” 

“Why?” 

“Because I never know when he will choose to feed me again…” 

“What?” 

“He controls everything, Jack, including when and if I am permitted to eat.” 

“You can’t just help yourself? Take something and eat it?” 

Daniel paled as he snapped, “No!” 

“Why not?” 

“The punishment for taking things without permission is too grave, Jack. It’s considered theft to take what isn’t mine, to take from the master without his express permission. The punishment is severe. I will never take that which isn’t mine to take, Jack.” 

“So you’re telling me if Mara decides you don’t eat, you really _don’t_ eat?” 

“Yes, Jack.” 

“But…” 

“My Master decides when or even if I have earned the privilege to eat. If he decides to toss me food, to toss it on the floor before me I will eat it or I risk going hungry and being beaten for refusing that which he has gifted me. It’s not a choice, Jack. I rely on him to feed me, and he chooses which method he will use to do so. He makes the decision if I’ve earned food or not. It has always been this way with him. I have learned my lesson well.” 

“And what lesson is that?” 

“I eat when and how he decides. I eat what he decides to give me or I go hungry. The price of theft from him is grave. I rely on him and only him to provide food and drink for me. I’m not permitted to touch or partake of his food unless he permits me.” 

“But…” 

“That is simply the way it is, Jack, whether or not you understand it. I eat when he decides I eat. I eat what he provides me with, and I eat the way he chooses to feed me. Otherwise, Jack, I go hungry.” 

Jack gritted his teeth in response aware that Mara used food to control his slave. It angered him that Mara was so domineering over Daniel. Why had Daniel allowed him so much control? 

Shaking his head he recalled Daniel telling him he was young when he had been purchased, just how young had he been to so willingly submit to eating food from his master’s hand and too afraid of helping himself for fear of the consequences? 

Daniel interrupted his train of thought with, “This isn’t the way where you’re from, Jack?” 

“No. No. We… I eat when I want. I eat what I want. I purchase my food, and I buy what I like to eat.” 

“My Master purchases the food, Jack. I don’t, and I eat what he gives me.” 

“Even if you don’t like it…?” 

“There’s no such thing as liking or disliking something, Jack. When he feeds me I eat because he may choose not to feed me again for some time.”

“So you don’t really have any choice at all?” 

“No, but he doesn’t usually give me something he knows I don’t like. It’s a courtesy he graciously bestows upon me. Now that doesn’t mean he won’t again give me something I don’t like but usually that is the case.” 

“It’s a _courtesy_ he graciously bestows upon you?” 

“Yes Jack.” 

“How is that a courtesy, Daniel?” 

Lowering his gaze he quickly answered, “It’s better than being force fed, Jack.” 

_“What?”_

“Or losing a hand for stealing from him…” 

Jack paled in response to that comment saying, “He… Daniel…” 

The softness with which Jack spoke his name drew Daniel’s head up. He then said, “Jack, it’s the way he taught me since I was a boy. I’ve always had to rely on him to feed me. I always had to earn my food from him. I had no choice, and I still don’t. It’s simply the way it is, and I know it may disgust you but…” 

“No, no it doesn’t disgust me…” 

Shaking his head he softly requested, “Can you at least humor me by not lying to me, Jack? Please?” 

Jack gazed intently at Daniel noting the intelligence reflected in his eyes. Daniel wasn’t stupid by any means. He knew what he was doing. He knew what he had to do. He knew what was expected. He did what he had to in order to survive. He had learned quickly what he needed to do to live as he was. Nodding he answered, “I’m sorry, Daniel. I sometimes forget how long you’ve been in service to him.” 

“It’s all right, Jack, just please don’t think me stupid or ignorant because of the things he requires of me.” 

“I won’t, Daniel, I won’t… I’ll try not to anymore.” 

“Thank you, Jack. I know it bothers you immensely but think of where I’m coming from. I had to learn a lot at a very young age including how to avoid being beaten by him for any little infraction. I’ve told you before he wasn’t easy on me. He was very strict, and I learned my place. I spent much time being tended by Narayana for my…stubbornness. I learned, Jack. I _had_ to learn. It was a matter of survival not choice.” 

“That’s not right Daniel…” 

“Doesn’t matter, Jack, I had no choice. I did what I had to do.” 

Shaking his head he found he wanted more than anything to hold Daniel, but the bars prevented it. As he muttered a soft, “I wish these bars weren’t here,” a puzzled expression settled across Daniel’s face before he answered the unvoiced question, “So I could hold you in my arms, Daniel.” 

Surprise was next to grace his face followed by a shy smile before he again lowered his head. 

* * * *

**I’d Rather Die a Thousand Times…**

As he continued to work in the palace Jack noticed that time seemed to move a bit faster. When in his cell time seemed to come to a screeching halt. The contrast surprised him only slightly. As days stretched into weeks and weeks developed into a month he began to realize that he had stopped thinking of how to escape. Upon that realization he could only shake his head. He had become so accepting of his place in the palace. He spent more and more time working in the palace than in his cell and soon found he was excited to be released even for a few measly hours. What was happening to him? 

Shaking his head he began to walk down one of the grand halls halting when he heard a raised voice fill the air. Glancing up he felt his heart lodge in his throat as he saw the scene beyond the doorway: Mara was raging at some man and a crowd had started to form. Curiosity urged him onward so he entered upon spotting Narayana he quickly approached him. Seeing his pale pinched face Jack opened his mouth to ask what was wrong only to turn abruptly when Mara snapped at his visitor paling at the scene before him. 

He watched from his place in the room as Mara bore down on Daniel who was kneeling respectfully before him. He wondered what was going on tensing and stepping towards the young man as his master suddenly backhanded him viciously knocking Daniel to his side. Daniel quickly recovered returning once more to his kneeling position, again lowering his head submissively as he awaited his master’s orders. Again Jack moved only to be halted by Narayana who quietly snapped, “Do not move. He must not be offered aid.”

"Why not,” Jack hissed in response. 

"Because if you were to interfere in anyway whether it is to help Daniel or not his master will punish him for the infraction.” 

“Why?” 

“Because he is a slave to all, O’Neill… This you already know and it should not bear further repeating.” 

Ignoring the comment Jack softly informed, “His nose is bleeding he needs…”

"You to remain where you are…” 

"Why?” 

“He is to remain as he is O’Neill. His purpose is to be always pleasing to his master no matter how his master chooses to treat him.” 

“But…”

Narayana sighed in frustration watching as the master continued to rant and rave at his chief of security directing his sole rage and anger towards the unfortunate young man kneeling so silently before him. He hated the inability to do anything without causing Daniel further pain and suffering, but such was the way of things unfair as it was.

Once the guard was dismissed Narayana silently prayed that Mara would simply dismiss Daniel without causing him further pain but feared that Mara was just getting started. He shook his head sadly as Mara did just as he had expected turning the full extent of his rage towards Daniel as he snapped, “You will report to my chambers immediately. If you fail to be quick to comply then you shall suffer further.” 

Daniel’s steady soft voice filled the room as he quietly replied, “My Master, yes My Master,” so accepting of his status in Mara’s court was he that it nearly broke Narayana’s heart. He waited on edge hoping that the meek response was all that Mara would require of him and nearly crying out in rage as again a second vicious blow was driven across Daniel’s face sending him yet again to the floor. Swallowing hard he clenched his hands into fists at his sides resisting every urge that told him, ordered him to go to Daniel’s side and help him. He could not interfere and as he caught the slight movement to his left he quickly reacted by latching onto O’Neill’s shoulder and saying, “Do not interfere, O’Neill. Please you will only make it so much worse for him.” 

Drawing in a calming breath he quietly snapped, “I can’t just stand here!”

"You can and you will if you care anything for Daniel. Please O’Neill, trust what I am saying to you. You cannot interfere _at all_.” 

He struggled with the desperate command hearing the tension in Narayana’s voice and the fear that told him he had better pay attention to what the man had to say so with regret he nodded his head focusing all his attention on Daniel who still lay sprawled on his side on the floor. As he began to rise to return quickly to his knees his master snapped at him ordering him to remain on the floor before him. He was ordered not to move as his master approached him towering over him looking as if he were ready to pummel Daniel into oblivion. He snapped again, “You will report to my chambers immediately, pet. Do not defy me.”

As Daniel again prepared to rise his master snarled, “DOWN! STAY DOWN!” 

Daniel froze upon the floor still managing miraculously to keep his eyes cast downward as he complied with the command. His master then snapped, “You will grovel upon your belly for me slave. Do you understand me?”

Narayana watched intently unaware that he had tightened his grip upon Jack’s shoulder painfully so. He gazed at the master and then at Daniel feeling his heart nearly breaking again as Daniel responded to the order by gracefully turning his hands pressing the backs of them to the floor he lie upon thus exposing his palms to his master’s gaze. Without thought he softly muttered, “Ah Daniel no…”

Jack quietly snapped, “What? What?”

“Do you see how he is holding his hands?”

“Yeah so?”

“A moment ago the palms were down. Upon the command to grovel he turned them thus exposing his palms to his master’s gaze…” 

“So what does that mean?”

“It is a gesture of surrender, O’Neill. By doing so he is showing his master that he is vulnerable. He is exhibiting his complete surrender to his master’s will.” 

_“What?”_

“It will momentarily appease his master and in the end possibly deflect some of his rage. Daniel has learned the hard way what it takes to soften his master even in the slightest. Mara is a master who shows no mercy, but Daniel has learned that small things will lessen his anger ever so slightly. It is these little things that Daniel has learned that keep his master from destroying him when his rage is so very great. It is the lifeline that Daniel clings to when he must submit to the violence and rage of his master.”

Narayana fell silent again as a cruel twisted smile stretched across Mara’s lips before he ordered, “Go now, pet, and go quickly.”

As gracefully as he had turned his hands over Daniel moved into the proper grovel position before doing as his master commanded of him and exiting the room upon his belly.

**Than Watch You Suffer One More Day**

It was several hours before Jack saw him again and as he entered being helped by Narayana Jack felt his heart seize. He watched as Daniel slowly, oh so slowly, approached relying way too heavily on Narayana. When he drew to a halt before him Narayana didn’t leave his side as was typical prompting Jack to ask, “Can we have some privacy, please?”

In a choked voice Narayana softly responded, “Not this time, O’Neill, I am sorry but should I leave his side now he will not have the strength to remain upright. He should be resting, recovering but demanded of me to bring him to see you.”

“Is it…? How bad is it Daniel?”

Again it was Narayana who answered with, “He was very lucky.” 

_“Lucky?”_

It was Daniel who spoke next as he raised his head and answered, “Yes I was lucky, Jack, lucky that this is all he chose to do to me. His anger was, is, great and usually it’s much, much worse.” 

“Usually…?”

“Yes.”

As Daniel focused on him Jack reached for him cursing the bars that separated them. Narayana gasped as Jack placed a gentle hand to Daniel’s face brushing a thumb ever so lightly across his jaw line shocked at O’Neill’s reaction and Daniel’s willingness to allow such a touch.

O’Neill managed a soft, “Ah Daniel…”

Daniel downcast his eyes before speaking again, “Thank you…for not interfering.”

“I should have.”

“NO! No you couldn’t.”

“And why the hell not?”

“Had you done so I would still be at my master’s mercy...”

“You still are.” 

“ _Literally_ at his mercy, Jack… I wouldn’t be here with you now. I’d be bowing at his feet or cowering before him as he continued to throttle me. I… To interfere would have only further incited his wrath.” 

“You surrendered to him. You… Narayana said you _willingly_ surrendered to him.”

“And Narayana has told you why. Something as small, as simple as showing surrender in defeat with a single hand gesture has spared me much pain in the past. I knew it would work again. He has no control when he is as angry as he was today. He would have showed me no mercy.”

“I think it’s already a pretty safe bet to say that he didn’t show you any mercy today, Daniel.”

“And I would normally agree if I were unable to rise on my own. Yes Narayana is helping me to remain upright but at least I’m able to rise on my own. Had I not surrendered to him I would be crawling upon my belly unable to do anything without Narayana’s aid and several days of bed rest so you see I did spare myself some of his rage…and all I had to do was show I surrendered to his will. It’s not a choice for me Jack but a matter of survival.”

“ _What?_ Do you hear yourself Daniel?”

“I have no choice, Jack. I have NO CHOICE.”

“There’s always a…”

“Bullshit! Don’t start with that crap, Jack, don’t you dare! If I had a choice do you really think I’d tolerate his abuse? Do you really think I’d so willingly yield to his rule? If I had a choice Jack, do you really think I’d still be here?” 

He opened his mouth then closed it again before opening it again to say, “I’m sorry, Daniel, I don’t want to anger you. I’m just having a very difficult time accepting all of this.”

“I know, Jack. I know and you would _because_ you’ve never been a slave. You’ve never served another. You’ve never been owned and controlled by another. You don’t understand what it’s like, what my life is like. You don’t know what slavery really means, what slavery really is.”

“I think I’m learning though.”

“Learning yes, accepting of it no.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“When you look at me you don’t see me as a slave, Jack. You see me as a person, as a fairly strong person I think and that creates conflict and tension within you because you see me as something that I am but I’m not.” 

"I dare you to say that again.”

Shaking his head Daniel continued, “You know what I mean, Jack. When you look at me you see _me_. When anyone else looks at me they see a _slave_ and treat me accordingly. I am both yet I am not.” 

“What?”

Daniel shook his head dismissively before continuing, “I’m a slave, Jack. I’m owned. I’m controlled. I serve or I die it’s as simple as that. I either serve him willingly, completely, surrendering all to him or I die for daring to hold myself back from him. I have no secrets for all are laid bare before him. I’m a prize to him, a treasure that he knows intimately. There are no secrets between us for if there were then he would know that I was holding back and he would slay me for such a crime. He holds my life in his hands, Jack. He holds the power to give me life or to take it from me, and I have no say in the matter. Slaves have no say for they are merely property. Slaves are objects who serve in all ways. He may show me respect at times even going so far as to involve me in complex discussions or moral debates but in an instant he can also order me back to my knees and I must obey without hesitation. He holds power over me and I must yield to his power, to his rule, to _him_ Jack. I have no other choice but to yield my body, my soul, my very life to him.”

Knowing he was becoming angry but unable to fully rein it in he snapped, “But why? Why Daniel? Tell me why.”

Daniel opened his mouth to speak then closed it again unable to come up with a response to the question. He glanced briefly at Narayana, at a loss for what to say, and lowered his gaze to the floor again before managing, “That’s just the way it is Jack."

With that said he turned to Narayana again and spoke softly. Narayana nodded before saying, “Good night, O’Neill.”

“Good night? _Good night_? I’m not done talking yet…”

Daniel managed, “I think you’ve said quite enough, Jack. Now if you’ll excuse me I really need to lie down.”

“Why?”

Daniel’s eyes briefly widened before he simply shook his head and softly said, “Narayana please?”

Narayana nodded, turning to guide Daniel towards the door and beyond.

Once to the safety of his room, Daniel was no longer able to remain upright and crumpled against Narayana grateful that the man held onto him still. He managed a choked, “Door, get the door…please,” that had Narayana closing the door abruptly before locking it. Then he hoisted Daniel into his arms and carried him into his bedroom while saying, “You push yourself far too hard, Daniel. You should have been resting.”

“I had to…see him…” 

“But you are barely able to stand on your own.”

Feeling overwhelming sadness settle in he could only softly mutter, “I know.” 

Narayana lowered him to his bed then carefully removed his silks before beginning to draw a robe around him. Daniel immediately shook his head pushing it away with what little remained of his strength as he softly said, “No. No. Hurts too much…please?”

Nodding Narayana cast the robe to the foot of the bed before drawing Daniel into his arms mindful of where he touched him knowing how severely battered he truly was. As soon as he tugged Daniel into his arms Daniel could no longer remain strong and nearly collapsed managing a quiet, “I don’t think I can do this much longer, Narayana. I’m not that strong, not anymore.”

Narayana reached up with his right hand keeping the left firmly wrapped around Daniel before gently brushing the hair away from Daniel’s face softly uttering, “Shh, shh do not think about it now. Try to rest, please. Rest...”

“Narayana…”

“Shh, rest Daniel, just rest.”

Releasing a soft sigh Daniel managed to nod before settling further into the embrace allowing his eyes to slowly drift shut as he listened to the steady beat of Narayana’s heart beneath his ear.

Narayana held him in his arms gently stroking his hair as he began to rock him ever so slowly trying to ignore the fierce ache in his heart as he again held the man he loved as his very own in his arms, broken and battered from the violence and rage his master had chosen to again rain upon him. 

As the man in his arms began to further relax his breathing growing more even and deep Narayana smiled aware that he had found the much needed rest he had been seeking. After holding him a while longer he carefully lowered the man to the mattress drawing the covers up over him and tucking him in before leaving. There was someone he had to speak with and he knew that like Daniel he too would find much difficulty finding rest, for there was much he still did not understand or comprehend about the one presently curled up asleep in his bed. 

* *

Glancing up he saw Narayana enter alone and quietly approach his cell. Worried he asked, “Narayana, how…how is he?”

Narayana said nothing at first, so caught up in his present sadness, but as Jack’s voice took on an even softer tone as he asked his question again this time ending with an imploring “please” Narayana found his voice, “He is growing weary and tired. He… I do not know how much more he will be able to handle before he is lost…”

“ _Lost_? What…what the hell do you mean? What happened after the two of you left here?” 

Narayana shook his head and silence ensued before he broke it with, “I know I have asked you this very question before and you have answered it…” 

Confused by the statement all Jack could come up with was, “What question…?”

Interrupting Narayana only continued, “Do you have any idea how he is treated, O’Neill? Do you even care? Do you care for Daniel? Does he mean _anything_ to you?” 

“I…”

“If you do not care for him, if he does not mean anything to you then please walk away from him now. I beg of you. Please…please do not destroy him, O’Neill, please.”

“I’d never…” 

“Not intentionally no but…”

“But what?”

“You cannot or will not accept him as he is. You call him foolish for surrendering so much to another. You shake your head when he walks away from you unable to allow you to see how much your words wound him. You tell him he has a choice when he has no freedom. You tell him he can do anything, and do not understand when he runs from you nearly in tears as he is again reminded of those things that he is not permitted to have. You disregard his wishes believing that by doing so you are helping him when all you succeed in doing is furthering his suffering. You do not understand what slavery means, and you have never tried. If you hurt him, O’Neill, you will destroy him. You cannot do that to him. Daniel is a rare individual whom should be treasured not as a belonging but as a human being. He has one of the most beautiful souls I have ever seen. He is one of the most compassionate people I have ever met. He… Daniel is very special, O’Neill…”

Feeling suddenly angry and not understanding why Jack snapped back, “He lures people to his master, how’s that make him special?”

Sighing in frustration Narayana answered, “He is not proud of that, and yes he does lure others to his master, at his command but he does not do so willingly.”

His anger began to turn into hurt as he spoke again, “Could’ve fooled me.”

Narayana shook his head lowering it before continuing, “Each time he is commanded to lure another to Mara, each time he is ordered to please another for Mara, it cuts him like a knife, O’Neill. It tears out another piece of his precious heart and soon, soon, he will have nothing left _to_ give to another, for his heart will be shredded into a thousand tiny pieces. You do not understand how he hurts, O’Neill. You have never held him in your arms as he has rocked himself to sleep. You have never had to hold the boy in your arms as he cried for his parents late into the night. You have never had to comfort the child as he begged to die instead of give himself to another. You have never had to console a teenager when he spent his first night serving in the bed chamber for his master. You have never had to watch as sorrow and pain nearly consume the man you love as a son. You have never had to witness the suffering of a child you love so very much as he fought and struggled to become a strong individual who could still love, still be compassionate to all those in need even when his very life constantly shatters around him. You have never had to witness a man whose soul was bleeding, whose spirit is slowly dying. You have never loved someone so much that it nearly destroys you to watch as he is slowly murdered by a man he is forced to address always as ‘master’. When you witness one you have loved and raised from a boy slowly dying inside then and only then will you understand why I am begging you, pleading with you not to harm him further.”

Narayana’s voice softened and strained as he continued, “He loves you, Jack, with all of his heart, all of his soul, he _loves_ you. He does not understand it. He refuses to admit it. He says a slave cannot fall in love, for they are not permitted such a precious gift. He says that you hate him for his betrayal and regardless of how much you have spoken with him, how often you have been there for him he still believes you do and that he is unworthy of such love. He loves you so much it hurts, and he cannot comprehend just why he feels so much pain within. It is becoming more difficult for him to serve, for now each time he is forced to surrender all to another he feels as if he is betraying you, betraying the love he has for you and to protect himself, to guard his heart he has blinded himself to that love. It is much easier for him to survive that way than to admit he feels an emotion he is not permitted to. He is so in love with you, but you are too stupid to recognize it, to comprehend it. The gift he has given you is so very precious, yet you do not see it and you foolishly toss it away. You refuse to admit even to yourself that he means so much to you, and you both suffer as a result. The only difference between you and him is that you still have your whole heart, you have experienced love that is more than what exists between parent and child, and you are still free to love. Daniel however knows no such thing as love other than what exists between parent and child. He does not know what true love is for he has never experienced it…until you. He is extremely vulnerable. He has no defense against you. He has no defense against love, for he does not yet understand what all it encompasses. In this game you are both playing Daniel is sacrificing his entire being and all you are sacrificing…is your heart.”

With that said Narayana abruptly turned and left the dungeons. 

Jack watched him go thinking of what he had just revealed, aware that he needed to be more cautious when approaching the one he loved, and he would have to come to terms with the anger he still held from Daniel’s initial betrayal.

* *

_Anger is another word I know well. It’s yet another word I dance with daily. Anger, rage, hatred…call it what you will but it’s all the same thing in the end. I’m a very angry person who buries that emotion deep down as well, granting it only moments of release. When I become angry all hell literally breaks loose and anyone who is unfortunate to be within a few feet of me is fair game for it to be vented upon. I hate the anger as much as the shame. I constantly battle it and battle the rage buried so deep within, for I’m not permitted to exhibit that trait, that emotion. I’m to always remain sweet, calm, polite and soft-spoken for anger is an emotion a slave is not permitted to feel. A slave is to be always accepting of their place, of their status in life and they are to always be happy, pleasant, cheery…pretty to look at and a joy to speak with but never angry, never enraged, never violent. No a slave is to remain subservient to all and they are to be quiet, docile and always eager to please. Slaves aren’t even permitted the right to scowl for it mars their beauty and greatly displeases their master._

_But I harbor anger deep inside. My rage is great. I hate my status, my station in life. I hate always having to be subservient to another. I hate always having to serve the whims of another, but I have no choice and no right to complain. I serve and serve diligently. I force myself to remain pleasing to others, to remain subservient to others. One of the hardest things for me to learn when I was being trained was how to remain subservient to all, how to bow my head to everyone and show to all I was ruled over, that I was owned. I struggled with that for many months thus was forced to serve a lengthy sentence in the cage. I still struggle with that command, that expectation and thus my master selects to punish me with the heavy collar and chain when I fail to do as is expected._

_I’m so angry. My anger stirs often, but I keep a tight rein on it forcing it to remain simmering never boiling over. Occasionally though it will boil over and explode and I’ll lash out at whatever is within reaching distance. My anger will be so great that at times Narayana has to hold me tightly against him as I rail and scream and fight. My master doesn’t know of the times my rage takes hold for Narayana always can see it before it hits its peak and he’s always quick about removing me from the curious gazes of others so that they won’t see the times when Mara’s pretty pet loses all control of himself. I know anger intimately, almost as intimately as I know shame, and I know its destructive capabilities._

_Jack has the ability to infuse anger within me. He has the ability to incite such rage within me that Narayana has begun voicing concern. I can’t afford to be angry. I can’t afford to be driven so close to the brink of it. I can’t afford to lose control of my rage in front of my master or my punishment will be severe. Whether Jack knows he can stir the anger buried deep within me I don’t know, but I do know that if it weren’t for Narayana’s watchful eye I’d be spending much time being “re-educated” by my master for my lack of control. It’s unacceptable to my master and won’t be tolerated so I have to find a way to tighten my hold on the rage and rein it in to the point where it can’t do any more harm. Jack will never understand why I’m not permitted to feel anger and rage, and Jack has no knowledge of how he feeds the fire raging deep within my soul._

_Anger is an emotion I’m not permitted to exhibit, but I know it so very intimately and I spend countless hours resisting its lure._


	6. Coming to Terms

**COMING TO TERMS  
Released from Bhuvarloka**

 

_Sometimes I feel as if I’m just existing…in space and in time. I feel as if I’m not connected to the real world. I feel as if I’m merely hovering, invisible to all, unheard by all, lost to all._

_Sometimes I fight and I struggle so hard to be heard, but as always no one is there. No one hears me. No one sees me. No one knows that I even exist. I’m floating in mid-air, not corporal, not real, merely just drifting like a phantom, existing in a world that’s no world at all, but a plane of existence that is invisible to the human eye._

_Sometimes when people look at me it’s as if they are looking right through me, as if they don’t see me at all. They walk by without stopping, without offering me a single glance. They pass as if I’m a shadow, as if I’m nothing more than an apparition trapped in limbo, trapped between the real world and the vastness of space._

_I call out to them sometimes, but my voice is carried away, out of earshot. I try again and my voice remains silent to their ears. They only hear what they want to hear, what they choose to hear. The sounds of one such as I are always ignored, for I exist as nothing more than a thick fog that hovers and clings to the ground only to be burned and scourged away by the fiery sun._

_I exist merely to serve, merely to please. I’m unimportant and insignificant. I’m inanimate to some, a beast to others, an animal to most. I have limited rights and have no say in the direction my life has taken or will take. I merely exist and that is all I do._

_They don’t hear me when I speak. They don’t hear me when I cry out. They don’t hear me when I scream as I try desperately to cling to something substantial. They don’t know that I even exist. Instead they look right through me and see nothing at all._

_No one notices a servant, a slave, no one so I suppose in the end I must admit that I’m nothing more than a ghost, for very few ever actually SEE me, instead most they just walk right on by unaware of my silent screaming…_

 

As he worked he became lost in thought caught off guard when an elderly gentleman excused himself as he went around him. Glancing up he saw the man nod before heading off down the hall. He wondered who the man was pausing when he heard Mara loudly say, “Ah welcome. He is ready for you. You may go to him now.” 

“Thank you.” 

“I assure you he will serve you well.” 

_He_ is ready? _He_ will serve you well? Shaking his head he became certain that the elderly gentleman was one of Daniel’s many clients. Would Mara really make Daniel serve a man who was so much older than he? Why? 

He watched as the man gently tapped on a door before entering the room and was positive that Daniel was waiting on the other side. The knowledge both saddened and infuriated him. 

He gazed at that door for several long moments before returning his focus to the task at hand tensing when he was later approached and relaxing only when Narayana softly said, “It is time to return to your cell, O’Neill.” 

Nodding, he slowly arose to his feet wincing at the aching, straining muscles as he did so and quickly turned to again gaze at the closed door at the end of the hall. 

Narayana noticed where O’Neill was focusing and sighed before saying, “Come we must get you back.” 

Once back in the dungeons and in his cell he turned to Narayana opening his mouth to speak only to close it again. 

Narayana nodded before answering the unvoiced question, “He is still serving. He will visit you when he is able.” 

“So that elderly gentleman? He’s a _client_ of Daniel’s?” 

“Yes he is.” 

“Isn’t he a bit…old for Daniel? I mean does he actually have to…you know do that with him?” 

“No, not with this particular client, no…” 

“Is he an exception to that rule or something?” 

“No. No. He just prefers to watch. He doesn’t require anything of Daniel other than for him to perform for him.” 

Swallowing hard as his mind dredged up a million and one things Daniel’s present client would request he perform for him he forced out, “He…does Daniel have to…you know, in front of him?” 

Narayana shook his head before providing an answer, “No. No. All he requests from Daniel is that he dance for him.” 

“That he dance…? Why dance? I mean…” 

“O’Neill you have seen Daniel perform. He is a very talented dancer. The customer he is presently serving desires only to watch him dance.” 

Shaking his head he confessed, “I don’t get it. I mean he’s a beautiful man, desirable, hot, sexy…and all this man wants to do with him is watch him dance?”

“I thought you would be relieved to hear this.” 

“Oh I am. I am it’s just that… Doesn’t it seem, I don’t know, strange to you? I mean…” 

“No, O’Neill, it does not. He has Daniel’s best interests at heart…” 

“He does, does he?” 

“Yes.” 

“Really?” 

“Yes, O’Neill, his only concern is to help Daniel in whatever way he can. He visits Daniel to see him dance and brings him gifts. He wants very much to help Daniel and that is how he does. Now if you’ll excuse me I must go check on him to see if he is finished for the evening.” 

“Um sure, sure…” 

He watched Narayana leave the dungeon area wondering about the mysterious elderly gentleman who apparently only visited Daniel to watch him dance. Why? Why would he choose only to request a dance? Most of Daniel’s clients wanted so much more, but this one… 

Shaking his head he was caught off guard as the door to the dungeon opened again. Certain it was Narayana he opened his mouth to ask another question managing, “So this particular client of Daniel’s…” before falling completely silent as Daniel approached. Swallowing hard he offered a quick, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Daniel, I thought…” 

“I was Narayana? Yeah, I gathered as much.” 

“So…how are you?” 

Daniel cocked his head to the left before eyeing Jack up. Silence fell between them for several moments before Daniel smiled and said, “You’re jealous? Jack, he’s an elderly man who likes to watch me dance, that’s all. Would you relax already?” 

“Um, yeah…sure Daniel, sure, I mean…” 

“What is it Jack?” 

“You’re not upset? You’re not… He didn’t upset you?” 

“No Jack. He didn’t. He never does. He’s the kindest client I have. I think truthfully he’s lonely and just likes my company. He gave me a gift tonight.” 

“Ah yes Narayana said he does that…” 

“A different gift then what he usually gives me. It’s…it was a very nice gift that I’d someday like to share with you…” 

“Well why not now?” 

“I can’t…it’s… For personal reasons and because I’m afraid that if he finds out about it…” 

“He’ll take it from you.” 

“Something like that, yeah…” 

“I’m sorry. For what it’s worth I’m sorry.” 

“Thanks Jack. Thank you.” 

Silence fell between them for several moments before Jack interrupted it with, “So tell me about him. What’s he like?” 

“Jack…” 

“What?” 

“He’s very nice, but he always confuses me.” 

“Why?” 

“Because I don’t understand it myself…” 

“Understand what?” 

“Why he shows up every week and only requests that I dance for him before giving me a gift and payment for My Master.” 

“Narayana says he desires to help you and that’s the only way he knows how.” 

“Yeah I gathered as much, but I still don’t understand why.” 

Shrugging his shoulders Jack answered, “Perhaps you’re not meant to know why. Perhaps he’s like those angels…they visit you for a reason, a purpose and you never know what it is, but in the end their only desire is to help you.” 

Nodding his head in agreement Daniel responded with, “Yeah perhaps you’re right.” 

“So this gift he gave you…” 

“It’s silly really.” 

Jack softened his voice as he responded, “Not so silly to you.” 

Lowering his gaze briefly he answered, “No, no, you’re right about that, Jack. It’s…very special to me. There is little I possess in this world and few things that I value highly…” 

“Ah and this gift is one?” 

“Yes.” 

“That must be some gift…” 

“He gave it to me because I…he said it was a gift between he and I, a gift that he felt I was ready for.” 

“And what was this gift?” 

“Not telling you yet, Jack, but the reason he gave it to me? He said it was because I had found love…in you, Jack.” 

Swallowing hard, surprised at the unexpected answer all Jack could do was gape at him before smiling broadly and saying, “And so it would seem that even a slave is free to love another.” 

Nearly choking in response to that statement all Daniel could manage was a soft whispered, “Yes.” 

* *

The next day as he worked he noticed Daniel watching him. He’d watch him for several moments before returning his attention to helping one of the other slaves. Daniel worked proficiently pausing off and on only to gaze at him. He smiled when Daniel caught him returning the stolen glances only to frown when Daniel suddenly jerked his gaze away upon the entrance of his master and immediately returned his focus to the task at hand. 

Mara uttered but two words and Daniel instantly lowered to the floor before him kneeling, his legs spread wide, hands on his thighs and his back arched slightly as his master approached. He was surprised at how quickly Daniel complied with the command stopping what he had been doing instantly as if Mara’s word was law. Shaking his head he closed his eyes as he realized that it was law to Daniel. If he had hesitated even a moment it would’ve been excuse enough for Mara to lash out at him. The simple realization saddened him greatly. 

Swallowing hard he tensed when Mara ordered Daniel to heel next watching as he began to walk around the room checking the slaves’ work. Daniel remained slightly behind his left foot trailing him wherever he went. When Mara moved so did Daniel. 

Once around the room Mara addressed Daniel again, “Sarameya, you may rise.” 

“My Master, thank you, My Master.” 

He gracefully complied with the command remaining where he had stopped awaiting his master’s next command. 

Continuing to watch he could feel the tension now present in the room and felt very uneasy. The room was eerily silent, not a slave moved, the tension only breaking when Mara said, “You will attend me now.” 

“My Master, yes My Master.” 

He then turned to address the entire room, “I am pleased with what I have seen today. You may continue.” 

The tension in the room seemed to quickly ease after that as if a collective sigh went up throughout the room before the others began to work again. Jack didn’t begin again until he heard Mara’s command to Daniel and watched as they left the room. 

Glancing at Narayana he saw relief flash across his face and asked softly, “What, Narayana, what?” 

“Had he not been pleased…” 

“Daniel would’ve suffered, wouldn’t he?” 

He watched as Narayana drew in a shaky breath before simply nodding his head in response. 

Jack didn’t see Daniel for the rest of the evening and was unsure if he would be able to get away long enough to visit him. Now back in his cell he paced anxiously back and forth hoping to see Daniel shortly and certain that he wouldn’t. When the man presently occupying his thoughts entered the dungeon all Jack could manage was a breathless, “Daniel.” 

Daniel approached offering a shy smile that quickly turned into a frown as he asked, “What is it, Jack? What’s wrong?” 

“You came.” 

“Of course I came, Jack. I always do…when I’m able.” 

“When you’re… He didn’t…” 

Daniel immediately downcast his eyes as he quickly answered, “No. No.” 

Sensing there was much more left unspoken he gently prodded, “Daniel what is it?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Daniel…” 

As the man focused on him Jack felt the breath rapidly escape his lungs and felt a sharp pain in the vicinity of his chest at what he saw reflected in those eyes. He swallowed hard before managing, “You were serving again, weren’t you?” 

Daniel jerked his head up managing, “What…no. I mean I…” he shook his head as he quietly answered, “I always serve, Jack.” 

“In the bed chamber, Daniel…” 

Immediately haunted eyes were cast downward and Daniel became increasingly more fidgety. Jack said, “Ah Daniel come here.” 

He reached out and Daniel jerked back answering, “No. No I can’t…no!” 

It was then he saw the pain in those pristine blue eyes, the pain, the fear, the self-doubt…and Narayana’s haunting words rapidly came back to him: 

_Each time he is ordered to please another for Mara, it cuts him like a knife…_

_Daniel is sacrificing his whole being and all you are sacrificing…is your heart._

“Shit!” 

Startled eyes focused on him and Jack silently cursed his stupidity. He shook his head, at a loss for what to say until finally he managed, “Do you want to talk about it?” 

“What? NO! No…” 

“I’ve been told I’m a really good listener, Daniel…” 

He was graced with the shyest, smallest of smiles. Encouraged he continued, “Come on pull up a chair. What have you got to lose?” 

The softest response came back so soft that Jack wondered if Daniel even realized he had spoken at all. What he said pushed Jack’s determination up even more: _MYSELF_. 

_Ah Daniel why did it take me so long to see, so long to realize?_

Quieting his voice further he promised, “I won’t let that happen.” 

“What?” 

“I won’t let you lose yourself, Daniel.” 

Daniel paled before confessing, “I fear it’s already too late for that, Jack.” 

“Don’t say that, no.” 

“Yes. Yes, Jack. I…I don’t know who I am anymore. Before you I…I knew what my life would be like. I knew what to expect in this life. I knew my place and now…” 

“Now?” 

“You’ve gone and messed it all up.” 

“How Daniel?” 

“By caring, by making me want more.” 

“Daniel…” 

“How can you care for me? You don’t even know me. I’m… Why do you care? Why, Jack? Why?” 

“Daniel I…” 

“Don’t… I can’t love, Jack. I’m not free to love and it’s killing me, Jack. You’re killing me.” 

“So, what, you want me to stop talking to you?” 

“No. No.” 

“Then what?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Daniel that’s not very helpful.” 

“I know. Jack you, you don’t understand what it’s like for me to feel something so strongly yet be forbidden from… I’m a slave, Jack. I’m property. I’m owned. I exist to serve that’s my duty, that’s my right to please others, to always be pleasing to others. I’m not allowed to feel, Jack. I’m not allowed to care. I’m not allowed to…” 

In a softer voice Jack interjected, “Love, Daniel?” 

Startled by the unexpected question all he could manage was a strained, “WHAT?” that had Jack replying in an even quieter tone, “Is that what you want to say to me, Daniel? You’re not allowed to love?” 

“No and yes and no…I don’t…” shaking his head he continued, “You confuse me, Jack. I don’t understand what it is you want from me. I don’t… I have, I…these feelings I don’t… I can’t comprehend them. I don’t know. I don’t understand what’s happening here. I, you make me feel…things I can’t explain…” 

“Have you ever been in love, Daniel?” 

“I love Narayana, and I loved my parents…” 

“No that’s different.” 

“How? How is it any different from…?” 

“Does Mara love you?” 

“I… No, I don’t…I don’t know…in his own way I suppose yes but…” 

“Does Narayana love you?” 

“Yes.” 

“Was there anyone else in your life you cared for a bit more than others?” 

“Well no not…not really. Why?” 

“Just something Narayana said to me.” 

“What did he say? Jack, what did Narayana say?” 

“That the only love you’ve ever experienced has been parental and that you don’t know what being in love with someone actually means.” 

“I…” 

He fell abruptly silent uncertain as to how to respond to the comment feeling even more confused than earlier. After several moments he glanced at Jack before slowly approaching and asking, “Are you still willing to listen?” 

“Always, Daniel, always.” 

“No, I don’t think you are. At least not this anyway…” 

“Try me.” 

“Jack, do you know what goes on when I…serve?” 

“Yes.” 

He flushed before managing, “You…you do?” 

“Yes you…please them and satisfy them. You give yourself to them.” 

“No see that’s where you’re mistaken. I don’t give myself to anyone that implies I’m willing. No, I sacrifice myself. I… Yes I please them, and I don’t deny it feels good to me too. I don’t deny it’s pleasurable for me, but it’s not me they get, Jack, it’s not me.” 

“I don’t…” 

“I…it’s my body they use. It’s not me, never me, not completely anyway. There’s only one I’ve ever felt any desire to surrender everything to and that’s…” shaking his head he continued, “Someone.” 

“Someone? Daniel…” 

“Jack, don’t. Please don’t. I’m… Please.” 

“Okay, Daniel, okay.” 

“Thank you.” 

An uncomfortable silence fell between them for several moments before Jack broke it with, “So what do you want to talk about, Daniel?” 

“I don’t know.”

“Well, okay tell me about your parents. Where are they? What happened to them?” 

“Jack you already know this.” 

“No, I beg to differ.” 

Sighing he responded, “They’re gone. They were killed for what they believed in. They… I was taken shortly after…” 

“Do you remember them?” 

“A little…images mainly and memories, a few memories but… I was happy with them. I…I was loved and cared for. I… They were scientists. They were… I…I had so little time with them. I…I miss them.” 

“So you’ve been on your own ever since?” 

“Well no. Narayana, he took me under his wing so to speak. He’s raised me ever since. I… So what about your parents Jack?” 

“Well my father’s gone, my mother she’s still alive. I haven’t been home in…a long time. We had an argument, big, BIG argument. I haven’t been back since.” 

“How long ago was that?” 

“Oh it’s been several years now.” 

“Have you spoken with her?” 

“No, no. Not really.” 

“Why?” 

“Just never got around to it, I guess.” 

“Jack.” 

“What?” 

“You should.” 

“I should? What?” 

“Talk to her. Visit her again.” 

“Nah she wouldn’t want to see me again.” 

“Don’t be too sure, Jack. Do you know there’s almost nothing I wouldn’t give to see either of my parents again? I…to have had a mother even just a mother… Jack, if not for Narayana I would have had no father. I would have missed out on so much. I already missed out on so much. There was a hole there, Jack, a hole in my heart that no one could fill. Then Narayana came into my life and through the years he slowly filled it up again. Jack, it’s such a precious gift to have parents, a parent. You shouldn’t just throw it away.” 

“I… She’d like you I think.” 

Daniel blushed lowering his gaze as he muttered, “Really?” 

“Yes. I believe she would. You…there’s a gentleness about you that she would see immediately, a gentleness that would draw her.” 

“Now you’re just making things up.” 

“No, no I’m serious here.” 

“What’s she like, your mother?” 

“Before dad died she was more carefree. She enjoyed life. After he left she changed. She became cold, bitter, angry…hurtful.” 

“She was grieving, Jack.” 

“Yes she was, but she didn’t have to be so angry.” 

“People grieve in different ways, Jack, and it takes a long time to come to terms with it. She was having a healthy reaction to loss. Anger, sadness, depression, it’s all part of the grieving process, Jack. Take it from someone who knows.” 

“Yeah but you were never…” 

“I was a hellion, Jack. I was angry. I was bitter. I was determined to drive everyone away. I was determined to drive my captors to wanting to kill me instead of keep me around. When My Master purchased me I was impossible to control. He was strict. He was very hard on me. He was determined to bend me to his will…eventually he succeeded, but initially… I was so full of anger that I lashed out physically… I lashed out whenever I could. Grief, it does that to people. Your mother…? She reacted like I did. She’s probably much better now. She’s probably come to terms with the loss and has since moved on. That’s what you need to do, Jack, move on. Go to her, speak with her. You may find she’s a changed person who is now very lonely having driven those she cared most about away.” 

Jack lowered his head and swallowed hard before saying, “Will you come with me then? When I speak to her?” 

“Jack you know I can’t…” 

“Don’t be so sure. I’m getting you out of here.” 

“No, you can’t and please give me the courtesy of not speaking about it again.” 

“But Daniel…” 

“No Jack. It hurts too much. Please, please just let it go.” 

“But…oh…okay Daniel. Okay.” 

“Thank you, Jack.” 

As Daniel lowered his head Jack made a silent promise to himself that one way or another he would take Daniel away from all of this. He would find a way to free Daniel from his master, whether he had to steal him away or not. 

Nodding his head in silent affirmation he continued to watch the man who now owned his heart determined to one day keep that vow. 

* * * *

After exiting the dungeons Daniel made his way to his rooms. He was tired and determined to go straight to bed. As he approached his door, however, he halted upon hearing his name spoken, “Syama!” 

Closing his eyes briefly he swallowed hard before turning to softly utter, “My Master, yes, My Master?” 

“You will attend me now!” 

The tone of his voice was unquestionable. He was being commanded to report to his master. Offering a slight bow he approached and followed his master to his rooms knowing with certain dread that he would now be required to attend his master for the duration of the night. 

Upon entering his master’s chambers he was coldly ordered to strip and in an instant he bared himself to his master’s eyes feeling the dread in his heart lodge even deeper within. Keeping his head bowed submissively he closed his eyes trying to calm himself only to tense when the next command given was, “Kneel to the whip!” 

He unconsciously gasped, startled by the order having expected to be told to serve in a more intimate fashion. As silence stretched between them Daniel could sense his master’s disappointment. It seemed to come off of him in waves permeating the air around them. He tensed further when his master’s next words were laced in barely controlled rage as he snapped, “Must a command be repeated?” 

Blanching he immediately dropped to his knees aware that he had reacted much too slow to the command and would most likely suffer for his momentary lack of response. Once on his knees he quickly raised his hips placing his head on the floor before drawing his arms beneath him and crossing them over his belly. He then silently waited for the punishment to start while trying to think of ways he could soften the beating and make his master’s anger dissipate. Unable to quickly come up with a solution he closed his eyes upon hearing the soft rustling movements behind him that indicated his master was removing his belt. He then focused on trying to mentally prepare himself for the first strike surprised when his master simply stated, “You are becoming lazy, pet.” 

Drawing in a calming breath he listened as his master continued, “You defy me without pause. You dare to raise your voice to me when speaking, and you dare to resist me in the bedchamber. Why?” 

He remained silent and still as was expected swallowing back the reply he desired to utter and feeling his stomach muscles begin to clench forming knots in their wake. He licked his lips nervously as Mara continued, “This Jack, he is a bad influence on you. I have told you this before yet still you allow him to sway you. Therefore you are now forbidden to see him until further notice. If you refuse to comply with my command you will suffer.” 

The pronouncement nearly broke his heart, but he remained silent as his master went on, “Yes, you shall not see him again. It is time that you remember your place, your status, your station in my court. You are a slave, and you serve me, only me. Do you understand? Speak.” 

“Yes Master.” 

Immediately after the utterance he released an audible wince expecting a blow that never came for the error he had just made and quickly corrected, “My Master, yes My Master I understand.” 

“Good pet, very good. Now…” 

He felt the tension within build certain his master was ready to deliver his punishment and mentally prepared for the blow soon to come. When his master only delivered another question he found himself caught off guard, “What are your duties, pet?” 

Licking his lips he replied with, “To be fully pleasing, totally obedient and completely submissive to you at all times, My Master…” and ended his answer with a harsh gasp as the belt landed firmly across his exposed back shaking him to the very core with the force that was placed behind it. Drawing in a shaky breath he tried to focus all of his attention on his master’s next words releasing a choked wince as again the belt fell across his back this time uncontrolled. The lack of control in the strike scared him to death for it told him of how very close his master was to not caring, and when that occurred he always suffered immensely. 

Reassuring himself he would be fine he was unprepared for the same question to be repeated again, “What are your duties, pet?” 

“To be totally…” 

“NO!” 

The belt came down across his back a third time before his master snapped, “Give me the answer I want to hear, Syama!” 

He searched his mind frantically for the possible answer his master wanted and tensed further before biting out between haggard breaths caused by another uncontrolled strike to his back, “Absolute obedience.” 

Another strike drove the breath completely from him and he struggled to regain it before stumbling over his correction, “Absolute obedience, My Master, sir.” 

His master’s response was to wield the belt again. This time he gritted his teeth biting back all sound, determined not to give voice to any more of his pain, for his master enjoyed hearing those sounds tumbling from his lips far too much. As the belt sought out his bare back again he feared he’d be unable to maintain silence, for he could feel the rage traveling through the belt as another uncontrolled strike landed. 

Bracing himself further he tried to prepare more for the beating yet to come, for what he was presently experiencing paled considerably in comparison to what was yet to come. As if to enforce that thought the belt drove into him so viciously that had he not already been on his knees he had no doubt he would’ve been now. 

He struggled to regain a semblance of focus feeling the multiple fire trails that now lanced across his back, a temporary reminder that his master was just beginning and that he was fast losing all of his self-control. He was now entering into dangerous territory certain he would soon find himself escaping it as temporary darkness stole him away. 

* * * *

Narayana was heading to check on Daniel when Mara stopped him. He looked at his lord before stating, “Sarameya is not in his room, is he My Lord?” 

Ignoring the question Mara simply stated, “You will retrieve him from my chambers, tend to his injuries and then return him to me.” 

Bowing he responded, “Yes My Lord,” before heading to his master’s chambers to retrieve Daniel. He was afraid of what he’d find when he got there, and sensed it would be bad. 

When he entered the room he felt unsettled noticing immediately that the chamber was eerily quiet, no doubt Daniel was unconscious. 

As he entered further into the room he didn’t have far to search for Daniel lay in a heap against the far wall, bare save for the vicious marks that cut across his skin. 

He rapidly approached the young man lowering beside him as he gently rolled him onto his back apologizing for the pain he was unable to avoid inducing. He carefully drew him into his arms before exiting the room.

The task was arduous as he carefully cleaned every mark trying to be as tender and gentle as possible. He was greatly saddened when, after cleaning all his present injuries, Daniel still had not regained consciousness. Sighing he hoisted the young man into his arms again and carried him back to his master’s chambers. Upon entering Mara said, “Place him in my bed and leave us.” 

“Yes My Lord.” 

He carried Daniel to the bed and gently laid him upon the mattress instinctively brushing a hand through his hair before drawing the covers up over him. He absently stroked the side of Daniel’s face again before turning to leave. As his gaze landed on Mara he noticed the system lord was carefully laying Daniel’s silks on a nearby chair taking great care in making certain they weren’t wrinkled in anyway. Shaking his head he tensed when Mara turned to gaze at his favored before focusing on him to simply say, “It was necessary.” 

Biting back his anger Narayana bowed his head slightly before responding, “Of course My Lord.” 

“He is being swayed. It is my duty to remind him of where his true allegiance lies.” 

Nodding his head Narayana offered, “Yes My Lord,” before heading towards the door. 

Mara stopped his exit with a simple, “You will inform me immediately if he should attempt to speak with the prisoner again, Narayana.” 

He lifted his head, his gaze growing cold knowing that it wasn’t a request his lord was making of him but a command. Rage filled him but he only offered the soft reply of, “Yes My Lord,” again before continuing to exit the room glad he had had enough sense to remain facing away from Mara when his request was made. 

* * * *

Later that night… 

As consciousness returned to him Daniel became quickly aware of the pain and stiffness in his body. As he shifted he released a strangled cry of pain feeling the evidence across his body of his latest beating. As a hand brushed his back he drew in a sharp hissing breath and attempted to draw away from the touch freezing in place as his master’s icy voice filled the air around him, “Do not pull from me, Syama, or you shall taste the bite of the lash next.” 

Squeezing his eyes tightly shut he forced himself to settle in place shivering as Mara’s hand continued to stroke his back and flinching each time the hand brushed across a raw lash. When Mara’s hand glided over a particularly sore lash he couldn’t stop his automatic response. He released a choked cry of pain as he shuddered again before his master. Mara chose then to exert more pressure on the injury making his cry of pain turn quickly into a half choked scream that he quickly bit off. Mara’s only response was to chuckle before leaning closer to him and harshly whisper in his ear, “Whom do you serve?” 

Shuddering as more pressure was added to the extremely tender lash, he bit out “You, My Master.” 

The pressure eased and he found he could breathe again, but his master wasn’t done yet choosing to ask another question that had him tasting ash in his mouth, “And whom do you belong to, Syama?” 

“My Master, you, My Master…” 

Mara leaned in closer making him feel even more uncomfortable before proceeding to nip at his ear. The moment his master applied his mouth to his tender ear he found himself growing hard and released a soft mewl in response. Mara then hissed, “What are you?” before blowing gently across his ear causing him to involuntarily shiver in pleasure before panting out an answer, “A slave, My Master…” and leaning into him firmly. 

He felt himself beginning to melt, becoming putty in his master’s hands until Mara rubbed his back causing him to rear away as a shriek of pain filtered in. Within moments his master was drawing him possessively into his arms, pinning him in place as he ground out, “And what is your duty, slave?” 

Stilling immediately, now a captive in his master’s arms Daniel responded with, “Absolute obedience…” 

“Very good Syama, very good… I sense you have been forgetting such things as of late. I am not pleased therefore you will now be required to request permission from me when you should like to speak. You have been stripped of your voice. Therefore, you do not speak unless I give you permission to. Is that understood, Syama?” 

Squeezing his eyes tightly shut he responded with a quiet, “My Master, yes My Master.” 

“Good, yes very good… Now you will remain with me until morning. I shall require your attendance in my bed for the duration of the night.” 

Swallowing hard he only nodded his head before closing his eyes as he tried to block out the present situation not wanting to think of what his master’s latest command meant for he and Jack.

 

_I knew it would only be a matter of time before his jealousy would take root. It’s been festering for far too long. My Master will only tolerate so much before he reacts to it. Had he known the day he permitted me to visit Jack whenever I desired would lead to a connection forming between us or had he hoped Jack would remain bitter towards me for my betrayal of him? I don’t know._

_He continuously says that Jack is a bad influence on me. He accuses Jack of swaying my allegiance, of turning me away from my duties, of clouding my judgment and turning me away from my true path._

_I knew it would only be a matter of time before he would forbid me from speaking with him. I only wish he would have done so before I lost my heart to him, for it would be so much easier to deal with._

_My emotions are all in turmoil now. It hurts to breathe knowing that I’m forbidden to see the one man who makes me feel alive. I feel empty inside, broken and hollow. I’m so angry inside that I have to force my mind elsewhere or risk becoming lost in it. Shaking my head I successfully force my mind into silence, but it doesn’t last for very long…_

_I sometimes look back on the life I have lived and wonder how I made it this far. How could I survive each new day knowing he would continue to drive my independence away? I have no independence anymore and anytime I’ve attempted to gain even a fraction of it he’s countered with punishment. I’ve tried to fight back, but he always wins in the end because he’s made me dependent. I hate to admit it, but he has. I’m slowly dying day by day as little pieces of me become lost flaking off like shiny black chips of flint as he pounds me and molds me. He’s crafting me, honing me into that which he desires leaving no room for free will._

_I watch each day go by and I grow sadder and angrier. My only anchor is a man who I’ve come to deeply respect and love, a man that has been like a father to me: Narayana. Narayana is my rock, my anchor. He’s the one who will always be there. When he goes, if he goes, I will be lost until I find another anchor and if I find none my meaninglessness in this life will swallow me up and I will disappear._

_Mara thinks he’s smart. He thinks he’s created a good little pet, one that never thinks or ever desires to be something else. What Mara doesn’t know, doesn’t realize is that his good little pet has fangs and if pushed too far will attack. The power is there, the ability to rip his throat out, to squeeze the life out of him is all there but I can’t destroy the one I’m dependent on. Sometimes though in the darkest quietest hours of the night I can visualize myself reaching out and breaking the neck of the one I serve it would be so easy just one little jerk and SNAP his neck will be broken. I fear the consequences of such actions though, not because I fear his guards will find retribution but because I fear that thing within him will leave him and enter its new host. After all it likes me, has a thing for me and knows I’m to be his new vessel should anything happen to his poor host that’s why I’m always kept with him. If something should happen to Mara, he will just take me and then I will never be free of him for once inside of me he will never allow me out again for he will know upon merging and blending that his pretty little pet is anything but docile. He would become privy to all my secrets, including those late night thoughts of breaking the neck of the one I call “master”._

_People often question why it is Mara has a well-educated slave. Why has he allowed his slave to learn? Why has he allowed him to be trained by only the best?_

_What they don’t know, don’t realize is that he is still carving me into that which he desires: a perfect vessel, a perfect host for him. Imagine the shock when they see me the former slave destroy and kill taking supreme reign over them as he overtakes me. He would settle for nothing less than a perfect, pretty, intelligent host, and still he will control me, only his hold on me once the blending occurs would be permanent until death do us part._

_I shudder at that realization._

* * * * * *

Several Weeks Later… 

He worked silently, diligently casting only the briefest glances his way as he went. No smile grazed his lips, no sparkle filled his eyes instead he seemed somber, sad. Shaking his head Jack vowed to give Daniel the silence he seemed to need. He chose to focus intently on the job at hand gazing up only occasionally and feeling his heart ache each time Daniel glanced at him only to abruptly turn away. 

Shaking his head in frustration he quickly found that he couldn’t remain idle and decided to take matters into his own hands. He’d approach Daniel directly. Nodding his head in silent affirmation he started heading towards him only to be halted as a familiar hand clamped directly onto his shoulder. Without turning, feeling irritation begin to rise he asked, “What do you want, Narayana?” 

“You to give Daniel the space that he needs…” 

“Space…? He needs space? Why?” 

“Because… It is difficult to explain.” 

Continuing to watch Daniel, noticing how he tensed briefly upon noticing Narayana before momentary relief set in he questioned, “What’s wrong with him, Narayana? Why does he seem so upset?” 

The silence was his only answer and as Daniel turned away from them Narayana’s voice filled it again, “You are correct in saying that he is upset, but the answer as to why he is behaving towards you as he now is should be easy enough for you to figure out.” 

Tensing he ground out, “Mara?” 

“Yes.” 

“And what exactly did Mara do to cause such anxiousness in Daniel?” 

“He did not do anything rather he gave Daniel a direct order…” 

“To what, stay away from me?” 

“Yes.” 

Angry now he bit out, “Why?” 

“I need not answer that question for you already know the answer.” 

“The bastard…!” 

Shaking his head Narayana continued, “This should not come as a surprise to you O’Neill, for you know how Mara feels about Daniel.” 

“This is all about possessing him, isn’t it? He’s afraid we’re too close, so he’s forcing us apart.” 

“He did mention Daniel needed reminded of where his allegiance lies.” 

“That snaky bastard!” 

“He has also forbid Daniel from speaking. He must first seek Mara’s permission to do so. You cannot ask him questions O’Neill, for he is not yet permitted to answer them.” 

“Sounds eerily familiar, so is that why he hasn’t been visiting?” 

“Yes.” 

“Is he permitted to see me at all?” 

“Not at this time.” 

“Asshole!” 

“I do not understand…” 

“Mara, he’s an asshole.” 

“Oh.” 

They stood watching Daniel for several more moments before both went back to work. Jack swore he wouldn’t approach Daniel, for he knew the possible consequences of such an action, but he quickly found that he couldn’t remain idle. He wanted to speak with Daniel. He needed to speak with Daniel, for he missed him so much. Licking his lips he lifted his gaze again noticing how the young man immediately broke it before turning his full attention on the job at hand. Shaking his head again he started walking towards the younger man stopping only to make certain that Narayana was well away from him as he did so and yelling at himself for being far too weak to resist temptation. 

As he approached Daniel he softly said the younger man’s name. Daniel’s response was to freeze in place before turning abruptly away from him offering Jack a full view of his entire backside. He took a step closer hearing the soft abrupt intake of breath as Daniel became aware of their proximity to one another. He lifted his hand wanting to touch but couldn’t make himself do so. Instead he opted for gently prodding, “Daniel? Daniel, talk to me. Please?” 

Silence was his only answer as the man before him began to take an intense interest in the wall refusing to move, refusing to speak and he was certain refusing to breathe. He knew he should turn back. He shouldn’t be doing this to Daniel. It was unfair to him. It wasn’t right. He was placing Daniel in an awkward predicament that if caught could possibly get him hurt further by his overbearing master, yet he continued to push demanding, “Will you talk to me?” 

Daniel felt Jack’s presence as soon as he entered the room. He could feel Jack’s eyes on him, burrowing into him, trying to understand why he was suddenly so quiet and nervous. He wanted desperately to go to him and apologize for not visiting him. He wanted desperately to run to Jack and hold him tight against him. He wanted to be able to speak again, to speak freely and to do as he wished. He wanted for so much and knew that it was a foolish desire that would never be met. Swallowing hard he squeezed his eyes tightly shut lowering his head and shaking it in response before jumping in surprise at the unexpected brisk order of his master, “Syama attend me now!” 

Covering his surprise and fear he quickly turned and bowed before following his master out of the room tensing as his master coldly questioned, “Syama what was my command in regards to the prisoner? Speak.” 

“My Master I’m not permitted to visit or speak with him, My Master.” 

Anger laced the next words as his master continued, “What were you just doing, Syama?” 

Immediately he answered, “I said nothing to him, My Master.” 

“SYAMA!” 

Realizing that he spoke out of turn he quickly lowered his head softly saying, “My Master, I’m sorry, My Master. I meant no disrespect.” 

“So you have said before.” 

His only response was to swallow hard uncertain of what would happen next. He tensed further as his master continued, “He approached you or did you approach him? Speak and be truthful, for you know I am able to tell when you lie.” 

Licking his lips nervously he answered, “My Master he approached me, My Master.” 

Mara nodded before further inquiring, “Does he approach you often, Syama? Speak.” 

“My Master, no My Master.” 

“No? Are you lying to me Syama?” 

He remained silent continuing to follow his master through the palace. Silence stretched between them for several minutes before Mara commanded, “Speak.” 

Feeling momentary relief wash through him upon the command being uttered he answered, “My Master, no My Master.” 

“How often does he seek you out?” 

Silence fell between them again for the span of several seconds before Mara granted, “Speak.” 

Lowering his head further not wanting to answer the question he quietly said, “My Master at least once a day My Master.” 

The tension in the air seemed to build and he held his breath unsure of how his master would react and only calming when he opted for, “So I feared. Have you asked him to leave you be, Syama? Speak.” 

“My Master, no My Master.” 

“And why not, Syama? Speak.” 

Balling his fists at his sides he had to bite back his anger as he responded with, “My Master because I’m not permitted to speak with him, My Master.” 

“Very good, pet, I am very pleased. Now come.” 

He drew in a calming breath forcing his fists to open and his fingers to relax aware that he had demonstrated anger and that his master could’ve easily punished him for such an infraction. His master could have also just as easily punished him for Jack’s persistence but chose not to. 

As he entered the dining room he didn’t know if he should be relieved or fearful. When he was instructed to serve his master wine he knew then that he could relax for no punishment would be forthcoming…at least not yet. 

* *

Narayana had entered the room catching the last exchange between O’Neill and Daniel. Shaking his head as he observed Daniel following his master out of the room he quickly approached O’Neill again saying, “O’Neill, I need to speak with you.” 

Drawing his own gaze away from that of Daniel’s back he off-handedly asked, “About what?” 

Narayana felt a surge of anger thrum through him and quickly dampened it as he bit out, “You know of what.” 

Hearing the tinge of anger lining those words Jack tensed before glancing briefly at Narayana. As soon as he made eye contact with the Jaffa he lowered his gaze trying to ignore the worry and fear that now consumed him having seen Daniel exit the room with his master after having attempted to speak with a man who was sentenced to silence. Drawing in a calming breath he licked his lips before managing, “I can’t do it, Narayana. I’ve tried but I just…can’t.” 

Feeling his anger dissipate some Narayana softened his voice as he questioned, “Even knowing the consequences?” 

Silence fell between them for a span of moments before Jack confessed, “I love him, Narayana. I love him, and I can’t, I… I need him. I need him. I… I try. I try so hard knowing… Look the last thing I want is to hurt him or cause him more pain but I…” 

Narayana sighed in frustration understanding all to well how O’Neill was feeling. Shaking his head again he informed, “You share the same pain, O’Neill, but you risk his very life with your foolishness. He cannot speak with you. He cannot see you or be near you. He has been ordered, commanded to stay away from you.” 

“I know that but…” 

“Mara is very harsh with his commands, especially when he fears someone is a danger to his most favored. He will yield Daniel to no one. He will continue to prevent you from seeing one another and when that fails he will become more desperate, thus much more dangerous and unpredictable. Daniel will suffer as a result.” 

“What can we do?” 

Feeling sadness consume him all Narayana could say was simply, “There is nothing we can do, nothing.” 

“Except escape…” 

Fear filtered in next as Narayana snapped, “You must not speak of it again, O’Neill!” 

“Why?” 

As Narayana locked gazes with his he knew it was a stupid question, one he had asked before, one they had discussed before. He was treading on thin ice. There were too many ears nearby to be speaking of such things. If Mara even suspected he wanted to escape and steal Daniel away they’d both be promptly executed so he fell silent. The silence only stretched for a span of a few scant seconds before he found himself asking, “What did…? Is he all right?” 

Nodding Narayana answered, “For now yes.” 

“Mara didn’t…?” 

“No.” 

Relief filled him upon hearing that Daniel was presently okay. Had he caused Daniel to suffer further he would have felt horrible. Shaking his head he questioned, “What…? Where is he?” 

“He is attending his master.” 

“And…?” 

Gazing intently at O’Neill he answered, “It is his supper time, O’Neill.” 

“He’s in the dining room serving. Thank God.” 

“I would not be so relieved just yet, O’Neill.” 

Tensing he forced out, “Why not?” 

Sighing heavily he responded with, “Mara is entertaining a guest. He is considering him for…” 

“He wants Daniel, doesn’t he?” 

Narayana lowered his gaze. Jack inhaled sharply shaking his head before opening his mouth to continue. Narayana interrupted with, “Do not blame Daniel, O’Neill. He has no choice but to serve. He does not select whom he must serve rather his master does. He has no choice but to do as commanded.” 

“He’s not a whore!” 

“This I know but he still must serve. His duty is to serve all, to be pleasing at…” 

“ _At all times_ … I know. Damn it, I know, but that doesn’t make it right!” 

“No it does not.” 

“He can’t take much more of this, Narayana. You have to know that.” 

Narayana held O’Neill’s intense gaze for several moments before defeat filled him as he replied with, “He is owned, O’Neill. He has no choice.” 

Lowering his voice to barely a whisper he informed, “And that’s why I’m getting him the hell out of here!” 

With that said O’Neill stormed off leaving Narayana to watch his rapidly retreating back silently praying that O’Neill could pull off such a miracle. 

* *

_I lick my lips as he watches me. I know what he’s thinking. I know what he wants from me. It’s what they all want from me: to take me, to conquer me, to sample me._

_They say I’m beautiful, exotic, every women’s fantasy apparently every man’s too. My Master made me that way. Desirable, sought after, the most prized of his servants. I really had no say in any of it, but sadly I’m actually glad for some of the restrictions and rules he has set up for me. I’m not used as a common whore. I don’t fuck all the time only when he desires it of me and only those he deems worthy. I suppose being his most prized has some rewards however minor they may be._

_I’d like to say I’m not a whore but truth is I serve others in the bed chamber. While I don’t do it nightly I do it just the same. If I’m lucky those who pay for my services desire only companionship or entertainment in the form of music or dance. I wish they all desired only that but many like to sample. In a way My Master’s rules regarding me have cursed me for many desire me who will never have me. Many will never even get the “privilege” as he says to sample some of my “finer attributes”._

_It’s a game to him to toss me out like bait, dangle me before the rich and powerful to see who will take a bite. I’m usually ordered to dress in lengthy robes that cover me for the most part when outside of his palace that way I exhibit an air of incorruptibility. Covered, my many attributes are hidden and many desire to rip my robes off to see what lies beneath. When in his home I wear hardly anything, my body here within his walls is a work of art, always on display so that it can be appreciated and admired by My Master whenever he gazes upon me._

_His prospects are many. They all come to dine with him unaware that while they do so he is watching them, assessing them, observing how they act towards him, how they react to me, how they treat me, how the speak to me. He watches everything and all to determine whether or not they are worthy enough to sample me. The meal is the final judgment where he will make his decision._

_He has specific rules set up. Some are surprising to me. If they treat me with little respect they are automatically crossed off of his list. He once told me why that was of such great importance to him. He said that if they saw me as a slave and treated me accordingly that they might become reckless with me so they are automatically eliminated. Those who are courteous to me, those who say thank you when I serve them get one step closer to obtaining me. If one stares at me and pays little attention to My Master they too are eliminated…_

_It’s strange really having a master who hurts me whenever it serves his purpose yet is so strict when selecting those who will bed me. I don’t understand it. I will never understand it, and perhaps I’m not meant to._

* * * *

Later that Evening… 

When next he saw Daniel he was trailing behind his master. He was surprised and shocked to see Mara enter the dungeons. They drew to a halt right before his cell and an order was quickly snapped. He watched quietly from his place as Daniel rose to his feet as commanded before stretching both arms high above his head and crossing them together as if presenting them for securing. As Mara began to secure him in place Jack could only watch in silence shocked that his suspicions in regards to the position were correct and only able to stare dumbfounded as Daniel so willingly offered his wrists for shackling and allowed his master to secure them together. What the hell was with him? He was so damned obedient to his master but why? Why was he so damned compliant? Why? 

Shaking his head he continued to gaze upon the young man now displayed with his back towards him. He watched as his red silks were tossed around his right hip thus exposing his firm naked ass and the lower half of his brand to all who stood witness. The skin was firm, smooth, unmarred and as the belt came down across his perfect ass it left red marks in its wake. Daniel didn’t speak only submitting silently to the punishment. Once it was finished he was ordered to be stripped of all garments remaining in chains where he was secured fast exposing to all the marks of his master’s discipline. The red marks cut across perfect flesh marring his beautiful hide. In time they would fade, in time. 

As he gazed upon Daniel’s naked back he noticed strongly defined muscle rippled. The man was cut. His body was molded to perfection glistening as if oil had been applied to his luscious flesh instead of sweat clinging there. As he gazed at the brand he noted that it was indeed burned into the man’s flesh but it was intricate, beautiful, a brand so perfect he wondered if it had been carefully drawn into the skin before being burned into it. It was a vulture as Daniel had said with its broad wings spread wide, its majestic head turned ever so slightly to the right. The brand was a breathtaking work of art, obviously applied to his body with great care. 

He swallowed hard noticing that the only one now remaining was Narayana and Daniel prompting him to ask, “How long did that brand take to be applied?” 

Narayana answered, “Several hours I am afraid. He…the master chose to secure him as it was carved into his body and then burned into the flesh. He wanted it to be perfect, to accentuate Daniel’s beauty not mar it.” 

“Wow it’s…” shaking his head he swallowed hard before managing, “Several hours you say? He was kept secured for _several hours_?” 

“Yes.” 

“But…why? Why does he hurt him so much?” 

“Presently you are the main cause of his suffering that is why he is secured before you so that you can bear witness to his punishment, so that you will learn, as Mara says, what Daniel truly is and thus give up any interest you may have in him.” 

“So this is all for show?” 

Bowing his head Narayana replied, “He is trying to make you see, make you realize that Daniel is a slave to all, that he surrenders to all, that he serves all, that he has no choice but to serve. He is indentured for life, a slave for all eternity. Mara wants very much for you to see what his servant truly is. He is very jealous of you.” 

“Jealous? Of me?” 

“Yes and so Daniel continues to suffer for his pleasure. The master enjoys greatly making Daniel submit to him before you so that you can bear witness to his true status in this life. He is sending you a message that Daniel will never be free. He will never be a free man and you waste your time, your affection on one who is no better than an animal.” 

“That’s sadistic…” 

“So you have said on numerous occasions.” 

“Why would he do that? I thought his purpose for sending Daniel to me was to entrap me.” 

“Yes it was. It is. He wants you to serve him as well and he wants to discourage any form of…fornication among you and his favored pet. He is willing to go to great lengths to drive a permanent wedge between the two of you. Daniel is his. He belongs to Mara and Mara will yield him to no one.” 

“You mean he’s obsessed with him, don’t you?” 

“No he just…” 

“Wants Daniel all to himself?” 

“Yes.” 

“Just how long has Daniel been serving him? How long has Daniel surrendered all to him?” 

“For many, many years…” 

“Well then maybe it’s time that Daniel is released.” 

“That is an impossible goal…” 

“And why is that?” 

“Because wherever Daniel goes Mara will know. He will find him again, and he will return him.” 

“Then I guess it’s my duty to make sure that never happens.” 

The only reaction to the statement was the slight clang of the chains securing Daniel as he shifted and Narayana’s slight bow of the head. 

He gritted his teeth as he gazed upon Daniel chained up before him to prove a point. It angered and enraged him. Daniel had also been told that he wasn’t permitted to utter a sound for any reason until his master returned to free him. It was obvious to all what point Mara was trying to make, and he didn’t think he could tolerate it much more. This was the final straw and he would free Daniel if it was the last thing he ever did. Instead of discouraging as Mara had no doubt intended he had provoked him, and he was damned if he’d allow that bastard to hurt Daniel again if he could do anything about it. Shaking his head he softly said, “Daniel, I’m sorry.” 

The only indicator Daniel showed that he had heard the comment was the sudden tight clenching of each hand into fists and the turning of his head to the right before propping it against the cold stone wall before him, both silent signs that to him meant so much. 

Focusing on Narayana he quietly said, “I’m getting him out of here.” 

Narayana’s only response was a sharp, “Do not speak of it further, and do not speak to him for he is not yet permitted to respond.” 

“I understand that Narayana, more than you’ll ever know.” 

Narayana sighed and briefly lowered his gaze before saying, “I need to speak with Mara. His behavior is most disturbing to me.” 

Jack nodded and watched him leave before turning to gaze at Daniel angry and saddened by what he saw. Daniel shouldn’t have to suffer like this. Shaking his head again he began to think about the first time he had met him and the path their relationship took from there… 

When he first arrived at Mara’s palace he was excited. He had thought that he had found the man who stole his heart. Then he was captured and told it had been a trap, and he had fallen for it. After that he felt anger, rage and hatred for the one who stole his heart. When he had seen him after his capture he was disgusted with him. Despite how he had felt, however, the man still dared to visit him and speak with him. In those first few weeks he had treated him with such disdain yet still he came: to visit him, to talk with him, to spend time with him. He would often speak of his life, of what he was, of why he did as bid. At first he would ignore him, refusing to listen to him, not wanting to hear what he had to say but as each day went by he found that became more difficult. Eventually his views on the slave who had betrayed him began to change. Eventually he had to accept that his feelings for the slave ran much deeper than he cared to admit and instead of persisting in hating him he grew to love him even more. 

When he first saw Daniel serving his master he was outraged and angry. He didn’t understand why Daniel would so willingly bow to another. He demanded why Daniel would so willingly serve another. He would ask him why he didn’t fight, why he didn’t resist and why he didn’t attempt to escape. How could one so willingly surrender all to another and accept that they were no better than an inanimate object? How? 

It was then that he had learned of Daniel’s consequences for failure, for escape. He had almost died the last time he had attempted to run away. He had almost been beaten to death for the infraction. Upon learning that he then understood why it was that Daniel never attempted to run again. Still he wondered why Daniel would continue to serve. Narayana would tell him that if he disobeyed he would serve punishments, but he didn’t want to believe it. He didn’t want to think of how Daniel had been disciplined in the past and thus refused to accept that he had no choice but to serve another. Daniel and Narayana spent many hours trying to explain to him exactly what he was and why he couldn’t do as he pleased. He knew that Daniel was a slave but understanding just exactly what his status was, what it meant took him a long time to learn. That understanding however was a lot easier to learn then it was to accept. It took him some time before he was able to do so. 

When Mara permitted him to work in the palace during the day it was then that he was able to grasp fully what exactly Daniel’s status was. It was then that he was able to see what Daniel did, how he served, what happened if he refused. In being able to watch him he grew to understand him more and that was what helped him come to terms with what Daniel’s role was in Mara’s court. Once he understood and accepted it his next goal was to free Daniel from it. 

He spent many long hours of the night planning his escape, playing different scenarios in his head until he came to one that just might work. Now all that was left was finding a way and a time to implement it and pray that it was what would successfully emancipate both he and Daniel from Mara’s control. If his plan failed, however, they would both no doubt be put to death by Mara and he was determined not to let that happen. He would soon make his move. It was now just a matter of waiting for the right circumstances to present themselves.


	7. To Be Free

**TO BE FREE**

_Silently is how I serve him now. Quietly. I utter not a sound, for I’m not permitted to. It’s his way, **his way** of instilling in me that which I am. He believes I’ve forgotten, but how can one forget what they are when they have served most of their life as a favored one, as a slave, as a servant _

_He thinks by doing so he will better control me and better control Jack. He thinks he has such control when all it is, all he really has, all he desperately holds onto is a mere façade._

_He has resorted to commanding me to his room now almost routinely, save those nights I serve others for him. When he orders me to his chambers I’m usually expected to quickly disrobe before him, bowing as I request to spend the duration of the night with him. If I fail I am beaten and each beating is far worse than the one before. Once granted permission to lie with him I must join him in his bed. Sometimes he requests more and sometimes he requests nothing at all._

_I try to comply, to appease but as soon as I close my eyes I remember **him** , the one who now owns my heart, the one My Master has vowed to forever keep me separated from. Love I’m finding is more a curse than a blessing, for each day that goes by when I cannot speak with him or see him I feel a little more of myself disappearing. If this is what love is than perhaps it’s better left for another, one who is free to do as he or she pleases, one who is free to love another and not just seen as nothing more than a beast…_

 

“Syama come.” 

Bowing his head he approached his master without a word or sound being uttered. His master reached up to cup his cheek as he softly spoke, “You are so very beautiful, Syama. Why must you persist in challenging your master?” 

Keeping his eyes downcast he tensed as he tried to recall if he had failed to comply with a command, made a mistake somewhere or had done something wrong. Sadly he couldn’t recall having done anything to instill his master’s sudden ire and felt fear beginning to filter in yet again. What would he be punished for this night? What would he be disciplined for now? 

It was becoming routine to be beaten for no apparent reason save his master chose to do so. He needed no reason, for he had the right to beat his servant simply if it pleased him to do so and apparently it did. Narayana was becoming more fearful for him, for each night the master grew worse. It was all so very senseless. It was all so his master could prove a point and prove that he wasn’t losing his tight hold on his favored pet. 

He lowered his head closing his eyes in desolation as he heard the sharp intake of his master’s baited breath. He tensed further in preparation certain that a strike would soon be forthcoming. He waited on edge finding he was silently ordering his master to do it, to just get it over with and nearly quivering before him when he softly quietly said, “Tonight you will play for me, Syama. You will play all night. Do you understand?” 

He didn’t respond, for he was not yet permitted to. When told he was dismissed he bowed elegantly before leaving the room to enter the piano room. As he took a step into the room he felt all the old fears creeping up again and hesitated. He had spent so much time here in this room, so much time and not all of it was pleasant. 

Silencing the memories before they dared arise he entered and approached the piano lowering before it, settling in the seat and closing his eyes as he began to play… 

* *

Jack tensed the moment he heard the first chords being struck on the piano finding himself gazing at his hands aware of just who was now playing. To hear him felt unbelievably good, for he had not heard Daniel or his precious voice in so very long. His master had sentenced him to silence so very long ago and like a good little pet who never disobeys his owner Daniel remained silent, trapped in silence, unable to speak or to voice a single sound for his master forbid it. To hear him now made his heart soar for though it was merely the instrument he heard he knew it was also a sound, sounds that Daniel was making. Closing his eyes he listened feeling his heart ache as he knew what Daniel was playing wasn’t for himself. It was for his overbearing, cold-hearted master. 

He approached the bars of his cell wrapping his hands firmly about them as he closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against them listening to Daniel as he played on. 

As a door opened he felt his every nerve stand on edge uncertain of who was visiting, yet unable to raise his head as he listened to the music above. The soft footfalls of his visitor’s approach blended with the cadence of the piano falling silent only when his visitor drew to a halt before him. He waited relaxing when the familiar voice of Narayana intruded, “He has finally permitted Daniel to play.” 

“But not to speak…” 

“No not to speak but to Daniel being able to produce any sound even if it is not his own voice is better than living a life in silent service to his lord.” 

“How long will it go on Narayana? How long will Mara persist in his cruel command?” 

“I am afraid I have no answer for you, O’Neill.” 

“Has he served in silence before?” 

“Yes but never for such a lengthy amount of time. It is destroying him, killing him slowly yet Mara refuses to see what lies right before his very eyes.” 

“I have to get him out of here and soon, Narayana, very soon.” 

“Yes it must be soon, for I fear Daniel will not be able to hold on much longer…” 

* *

He closed his eyes as he played, his fingers knowing innately where to go, what key to strike, what pattern to follow. He was alone, alone in the room that held such fear and pain for him. If these walls could talk the stories they could tell about a lost little boy who had been trying to find his way, his path through a life he had not been born to live in. The memories they hovered like phantoms always within reach but never closer than a distant memory. Floating, hovering, waiting to enter in, pushing to be remembered, ready to torment him yet again, but he refused to give them power over him. 

He was alone which was uncommon. Usually his master would stand over him ready to punish him if he dared to stray, dared to play something different but now? He had no doubt his master would soon appear wielding the belt… 

His fingers fumbled over the keys and fear filtered in. He silenced the screams in his head forcing his fingers to move freely once more praying his master wouldn’t appear to discipline him for the grave mistake. 

Drawing in a calming breath he focused on willing his fingers to move and glide without error only relaxing when after several minutes had passed his master had still not appeared. He had tolerated the mistake. _Why?_

Shaking his head he began to wonder if this was a test. His master had sent him here alone to play without his coaching or supervision. Why? 

Shaking his head again he became more certain than before that this was a test and if he passed… 

Silencing those thoughts he continued to play quickly becoming lost in the sound, so lost that he hadn’t been aware of his master’s appearance several hours after he had started to play. As a hand squeezed his shoulder he stumbled over the keys again swallowing hard, paling as he worked through the piece trying to regain his rhythm and finding his fingers were stiffening on him instead of becoming limber again. He forced them to continue moving halting them only when his master said, “Syama you may stop for your hands are paining you. You have been out of practice for several weeks. We must remedy that.” 

Keeping his head bowed and his fingers still reclined on the keys he said nothing. His master softly urged, “Turn. Turn for me Syama.” 

Obeying he gasped when his master drew his left hand into his and began to massage it easing the tension in fingers that had been so active mere moments ago. After he was done ministering to one hand he did likewise to the other asking quietly, “Is that better? Speak.” 

He only nodded. His master smiled before permitting, “Syama you have done well this night. You may go to bed. Speak.” 

“My Master, thank you, My Master.” 

Mara nodded before dismissing him to his own personal chambers.

 

_My fingers move across the keys of their own accord. They produce a melody that is pleasing to My Master. What I play I play for him never for myself, but it’s so much better than the alternative: silence, cold, harsh, ugly, brutal silence. It pains me so to remain a mute in his court. Many are disturbed by such a sentence, for it is unjustly cruel. It’s his way to punish me, to remind me of what I am to him, of what I am in this world._

_I’m expected to carry out every duty given me, every command uttered but never am I granted the right to utter a single sound, even when he beats me I must remain silent. It is very difficult and more often than not I can’t remain as such for very long. Perhaps this is why the beatings have grown harsher, crueler?_

_As I reach up to my face I gently press a finger to my split lip. I wince aloud, for I am alone in my chambers for the first time in weeks. He has finally allowed me to remain in my rooms for the night. I swallow hard, lower my head and press a hand gently to my cheek. Another hiss of pain escapes. My face is no doubt a mottled mess of black, purple and green. The unfortunate result of fresh bruises painted ever so quaintly over older ones._

_The beatings are becoming much worse, much more commonplace for him, and I am afraid of what will happen if they continue. I don’t know how much longer I can tolerate them. I’m not as strong as I once was. If he continues I fear I may never recover, but what say do I have in his choice to discipline me so harshly? None, I have no say for a servant is property and thus feels nothing, is nothing but an item to be used and abused by the one who owns it…_

 

He carefully closed the journal he had just been recording in before running his fingers faintly across the cover and drawing it to his chest. He held the journal as he slowly, carefully made his way to his bed. Swallowing hard he gently eased onto his knees releasing a staggered gasp as old and new bruises made their presence quite apparent. Drawing in a calming breath he reached under his bed to place the journal with his other meager belongings then slowly, oh so very slowly he drew to his feet once more feeling as if he were an elderly man as he made the painfully slow, shaky trek from his bed to his balcony. Every part of his body hurt, every muscle screamed out in protest, every bruise and cut throbbed. Once to his balcony he felt relieved ready to collapse against it as the pain reached a crescendo that temporarily stole his breath away. Closing his eyes he waited out the storm before allowing himself to relax, directing his gaze towards the distant horizon. 

**Arthu (that which gives meaning to life)**

He stood on the balcony gazing out across the vastness of Yamapura silently watching the golden sun as it slowly descended in the sky. As a cool breeze gently ruffled his hair making the silk he wore billow about him like a brilliant red curtain he drew his arms across his chest rubbing his hands briskly up and down them in an attempt to stave off the slight chill. 

These were the times he cherished most, times alone by himself. When he was on his balcony he didn’t have to submit to another. He didn’t have to serve another. He didn’t have to please another. All he had to do was what he wanted to do. 

Times like this were very few for servants had little time alone, and most had no time at all. He was lucky, for he had a few quiet moments like these to be himself. 

Standing alone as the sky darkened overhead and night settled in he cast his eyes heavenward wondering what life was like out there beyond all those stars. The night sky was so vast and so beautiful… 

Allowing a small smile to touch his lips he didn’t miss the soft steps of a visitor approaching. He heard them stop knowing instinctively who it was and smiling more as the steps began to recede allotting him his precious time alone. Only Narayana had such great respect for him to allow him the solace he often needed. Narayana was probably even now checking the hall to make certain he would keep his quiet time, and as he stared at the heavens above he could hear the faintest click as the door to his personal chambers was locked. Narayana was no doubt now standing nearby silently watching over him. 

Lifting his face fully to the now dark sky he allowed his eyes to close and drew in a slow deep breath as he allowed calmness to settle in… 

**Kama (that which is desired)**

_Sometimes in the late hours of the night I think about my life, and where I am in that life. When I was younger I used to imagine things were different. I’d try to create my own little world all to myself, a place where I had everything I ever wanted. As the years went by and little changed I began to give up those dreams and accept that I’d never have anything other than what I had. It became harder to create magical worlds when I was faced with the cold harsh reality of my life. After that I had to adjust, to accept that though I could do so much more, that I wanted so much more out of life I wasn’t privileged enough to receive it, that I would **never** receive it. Once I was able to realize that life became easier to bear. _

_Eventually I gave up on those foolish dreams of distant lands and foreign places. I forgot that the world was so much bigger beyond my balcony because I wasn’t permitted to venture anywhere other than my own little backyard. The only way I could venture was if I was either attending My Master, engaged in one of his missions or attended by Narayana. If I wasn’t doing any of those things then I was restricted to my rooms or to the piano room, sometimes I was even told to return to my studies, for My Master wanted an educated slave not a lazy, ignorant one._

_I learned quickly how to eliminate any and all of my imaginary worlds and forget them. After that it was easier to accept that there was no escape for me and never would be. My life was now on Yamapura, my home was on Yamapura and my duty was to my lord and master. My right was to serve him and only him in whatever capacity he desired._

_Here there is no room for fanciful thought or crazy magical places that exist only in one’s mind. Here there is no time for day dreaming or wanting for things I can never have. Here there is no chance for that want, that desire to be free for it’s a fool’s desire and one that will never be afforded to a lowly slave. My life is here and there will never be any other._

 

**Mokshor (liberation)**

He quietly entered the room asking himself again just what the hell he was doing. Narayana had told him that Daniel wasn’t with his master. He was in his room. He had managed to get out of his cell bent on leaving but instead of running for the door he was searching the whole damned palace for one who had betrayed him. 

When he came to the room he quietly entered being guided there for some unknown reason. As he entered he was amazed at how beautiful and big the place was, positive that he had found Mara’s quarters. He continued to walk through the room into the next and the next pausing as he caught sight of someone beyond the far set of doors standing on what appeared to be a balcony. As he caught sight of a vivid red material blowing in the breeze his mouth went dry. He halted in his tracks finding he could do nothing but stare, for he was positive he knew who was on that balcony. Turning around he quickly locked the door to the chamber before making his way rapidly towards the figure. Without thought he grasped him from behind pulling the man against him and tensing as a choked pain laced scream escaped from the one before him. He immediately released the man softly muttering, “Oh God I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. What did I do? What did I do?” 

It was then that the person turned towards him holding arms tightly across his chest and as he looked into the eyes of the man before him he saw so much pain there. Without thought he pulled the man into his arms again and again a strangled cry of anguish slipped out before a harsh voice spoke, “God not too tight, not too tight. Careful, careful please…” 

“Daniel.” 

He nodded before managing, “You need to go. Please.” 

“No. No, no, no Daniel.” 

“Please Jack, please. It’s now or never. Now’s your chance…” 

“Not without you, Daniel, not without you.” 

“No I can’t go. I can’t. He’ll find me. He’ll kill me, but not you. Please.” 

“You’re coming with me.” 

“I can’t go with you. Besides I’d only slow you down. I can’t. I can’t. I belong to him. He owns me, Jack, he owns me.” 

“No he doesn’t, and you are coming with me.” 

“No. I can’t, Jack, I can’t.” 

“Yes you can.” 

Managing to grasp Jack’s shirt he focused intently on the man before saying, “Please go.” 

“Not without you.” 

“I bear his mark, Jack. I’m his _property_. I’m his slave. There’s no escape for me, but for you… Please.” 

“No.” 

“Yes. You have to let me go. You have to. You have to.” 

He attempted to shove Jack away but was too weak. Jack shook him lightly drawing another choked cry of pain from him before saying, “You want to stay? To stay with a man who beats you, to stay with a man who rents you out to strangers, to stay with a man who makes you crawl upon hands and knees like a beast? You want to stay with him?” 

“No but I don’t have a choice. I have no freedom, Jack. _I belong to him. He owns me, Jack. He owns me._ ” 

“Bullshit, that’s bullshit. Daniel, come with me.” 

Shaking his head and finding he had not the strength to talk much longer he managed, “Don’t take me with you, Jack. He’ll kill you if you do. He’ll kill you. Please. Please…” 

He fought to stay conscious aware that in a few more moments he’d be at the mercy of the one trying to convince him to go with him. He feared that if he didn’t convince the man otherwise Jack would take him with him and his master would not rest until he was found and punished for daring to leave his side. His master would not only punish him but would also kill Jack for daring to steal what belonged to him. He couldn’t allow that to happen so he tried again, “Please Jack, you can’t take me with you. He’ll find us. He’ll kill us both.” 

He struggled to remain alert but was quickly losing the battle and before he realized he had hit his limit he crumpled in Jack’s arms. 

Jack realizing what happened carefully lowered him to the ground brushing hair off of the side of the man’s face and paling as he saw the severe bruising on his jaw that the action revealed to him. God, what did the bastard do? Beat him until he could no longer move? What? 

Determined to take Daniel with him he grabbed a cover and wrapped it gently around the man’s lean form before hoisting him into his arms and heading towards the door jumping when the door flew open, relaxing only when he recognized the one who had entered. The man rushed to him demanding, “What are you doing? 

“He’s not staying here.” 

“He has no choice. He will be hunted for the rest of his days.” 

“And he’ll be dead if he has to face that bastard’s wrath again!” 

Narayana couldn’t argue with that statement. Mara was never extremely abusive towards Daniel…until Jack O’Neill arrived in his dungeons. After that his anger seemed only to build by leaps and bounds and it was usually his pet Sarameya who suffered the full extent of his wrath. Daniel had nearly died two days ago when his master had again lost control and nearly beat him to death for a minor infraction. His anger was unquenchable and Daniel was unfortunate enough to be in the direct line of fire. 

Shaking his head he gazed determinedly at the man before he quietly said, “If you take him then you must NEVER bring him back here. You must take him far away where his master cannot possibly find him.” 

“I will.” 

“That means he cannot return immediately to Earth, Jack, for that is the very first place Mara will look for him. Earth is his home world, Jack. Mara knows that even though his capture of the man was on a planet far different from that of Earth Mara knows that Earth is Daniel’s home. He cannot yet be returned there, for it is far too dangerous a place for him.” 

“So where can I take him?” 

“There is a place you can take him where he will be safe…but you must allow me to come with you.” 

“Oh hell no!” 

“Jack he is my responsibility. It is my job to protect him at all costs…” 

“And I can do that now.” 

“Jack we have been together for many years, Daniel and I. I…I raised him, Jack. To me he is my son, not by birth but because I took him in, cared for him and raised him as MINE. Please. He is my family. He is all that I have.” 

“Shit!” 

“I am sorry. This…revelation, it surprises you.” 

“No, no it doesn’t. Daniel told me about you and… We have to go now before it’s too late.” 

“Agreed.” 

“Then let’s go.” 

“We will but first…” 

Jack watched as Narayana approached Daniel’s bed and lowered beside it reaching under it. He demanded, “What the hell are you…?” 

As Narayana drew his hand back Jack saw that he held a wooden box and book. Narayana quickly answered his unvoiced question, “These are his most prized belongings, Jack. Now we must retrieve something else from my room and then we will go.” 

“What? We don’t have time for this!” 

“I will not allow you to take him until I retrieve something else from my room.” 

“We’re wasting time…” 

“And this is very important! Now be silent and come this way, quickly.” 

Jack followed Narayana as they quietly slipped into the halls setting out on a journey to free Daniel from captivity once and for all. 

* *

**In Pursuit of Dharma (righteousness)**

He didn’t awake for several hours when suddenly he snapped his eyes open and sat up screaming at the pain that answered and nearly panicking when he didn’t recognize where he was. Before his panic consumed him, however, Narayana was there holding him, rocking him, speaking soothingly to him and he rapidly settled in response before managing, “Where…? He took me, didn’t he? No, no, no. He’ll hunt us. He’ll kill us. He’ll…” 

Holding the young man tightly against him he reassured, “No, Daniel, he will not.” 

“He will. He will. He’ll kill us all. He’ll…” 

“No he will not.” 

“We can’t stop it, we can’t. All he has to do is trace…” 

A new voice interrupted as it demanded, “Trace? Trace what?” 

Narayana glanced up at O’Neill and silence stretched before them. Daniel was first to break it with a choked, “Oh Jack…” that nearly tore Narayana’s heart out, for those simple words were laced so heavily with raw emotion. 

As Daniel’s next action was to bury his face against Narayana’s body burrowing deeper into his embrace Narayana tightened his hold focusing intently on Jack knowing that Jack had picked up on so much when Daniel had spoken those two simple words. As Jack’s gaze burrowed into his he lowered his head before starting, “Do you remember what I said about Daniel, about how his freedom will not be easily obtained?” 

“What _didn’t_ you tell me, Narayana?” 

“Escape for Daniel is not easy. He will be tracked unless we undo the marker his master placed _within_ him.” 

“The marker? Within him? What the hell are you talking about?” 

“The reason Daniel could not leave that planet and could not return to earth is because Mara will find him even there. All he must do…is track the marker he placed in Daniel.” 

“How? What? I…so he’s still in danger? Mara will find him here? He’ll find him and take him back? No. NO! How can we…? Can we stop it?” 

“Yes I believe we can, but such a thing is easier said than done.” 

“I don’t understand. What is this marker? Can’t we just cut it out?” 

“No.” 

“Why?” 

“Because it was injected into his blood stream when he became Mara’s… When he surrendered to Mara the marker was placed in him to ensure that should he attempt escape or someone attempted to abduct him from his master he would always be found and reclaimed again.” 

“But…so Mara’s tracking us now?” 

“I have no way of being certain, but if he finds him, if he reclaims Daniel for his own he will destroy him. He must not be allowed to get his hands on Daniel ever again. This I have told you already. Never again, Jack, never again.” 

“So how can we stop that?” 

“By either killing him and the parasite within him or removing the marker from Daniel’s blood stream.” 

“That thing in him that wants Daniel as its new host could we kill it in some way perhaps?” 

“Yes, but we would have to bait and trap Mara. Mara will not surrender easily and if his body becomes damaged beyond all repair and he is close to Daniel he will take him as his new host. Our best defense would be to destroy the marker in Daniel.” 

“But how do we do that?” 

“I know of someone who could help.” 

“Can he be trusted?” 

“Yes, I believe he can.” 

“You believe he can?” 

“Yes.” 

“That’s not very reassuring…” 

“I know of no other who could undo this.” 

“Well does he have a name?” 

Narayana nodded before answering, “Beckett, his name is Carson Beckett.” 

Startled Jack said, “I know a person by that name.” 

“Yes as well you should, for he is also from Earth.” 

“And how may I ask do you know him?” 

“I found him when searching for a means to eradicate the marker present in Daniel.” 

Jack’s eyes widened before he said, “You…you were planning to free him…” 

“From Mara’s grasp yes, I have been searching for some time for a way to free him completely.” 

“So this place…?” 

“I set it up many years ago.” 

“For…?” 

“For Daniel and I, yes.” 

“I don’t believe it.” 

“Jack, he is my son. I will do anything for him, anything Jack, including giving my own life in exchange for his. I would die proudly knowing that I have sacrificed myself so that he could live.” 

Jack knew they were close but how close never really dawned on him…until now. He had done the right thing in permitting Narayana to come along and the way Daniel was relying on him so heavily now proved to him just how deep their connection with one another ran. He unconsciously reached out and stroked Daniel’s hair saying, “We’ll get rid of it, Daniel. We will.” 

Daniel lifted his head then and said, “I…I should have told you, Jack, but…” 

“No. No. It’s okay, really. We’ll just have to find a way to get it removed quickly.” 

Daniel nodded before saying, “Quicker than you realize, Jack…in a few more hours he’ll realize I’m gone and then he’ll track me. We don’t have much time.”

 

_Exhaustion that’s what I feel now, exhaustion, fear, excitement, uncertainty, doubt, disbelief and shock… I’m free. FREE. Never would I ever have believed it possible yet… He’s still out there somewhere, no doubt trying to track me, cursing as the tracker within me dies thus concealing my new location…_

_Carson is a nice person. I like him. He’s a doctor with a Scottish accent. He likes to chat too. I was surprised, shocked really when Carson smiled at me and said, **“You finally brought your son with you. It is a pleasure and an honor to finally meet you, Daniel.”**_

_I think my eyes bulged in response, the corners of them growing moist. I knew then that Narayana had spoken of me, about me to him at some point in the past. I was pleased, tickled to be addressed as Narayana’s son. Jack had the shittiest grin on his face as he watched me, watched my reactions to all that was happening around me._

_Carson explained what would happen, how he intended to deactivate the tracking device within my body. EMP, something called electro-magnetic pulse. He said it wouldn’t hurt, that I wouldn’t feel any pain at all. He told me only things such as electronics would be disrupted. I didn’t believe him…until he used it on me._

_When we first arrived he used some type of wand or something, waving it over my body. Immediately a monitor began to beep: steady, strong, loud… Carson told me that was the tracking device in me. After that I was shocked I suppose. Surprised that it was real, that I did have a tracking device in me, but at the same time I was aware. I knew it had already existed. I knew Mara tracked me somehow because he always knew where I was, where I had been and he was always able to retrieve me instantly. I guess hearing it made it more real I suppose._

_When the EM pulse, as Jack called it, was set and triggered the beeping was no longer audible. Nothing showed up on Carson’s little screen. He waved the wand thing over me again but this time there was nothing, not a sound. I didn’t know if I should be happy or sad. I didn’t know if the tracker was completely destroyed until Narayana drew me into his arms and told me I was now free. When we broke apart I noticed the moisture on Narayana’s cheeks and that’s when I finally allowed myself to believe it._

_Free. I’m **free**. He can’t find me here. He can’t track me anymore. He can no longer pursue me wherever I go. _

_I allowed the moisture to fall then quickly being pulled against the man I’m proud to call “father”. Jack too held me and once I recovered I hugged Carson Beckett, much to both of our surprises._

_Freedom, I have finally obtained it. Now what’s left is the healing. It’s a difficult road ahead of me, but I think I’m ready now._


	8. Climbing to Svarga

**CLIMBING TO SVARGA  
Open Admission**

Daniel looked at Jack having said his good bye and thank you to Carson Beckett for his help in removing the marker and felt suddenly very nervous. Unsure of what to do or say he turned to glance at Narayana before turning back to Jack and softly inquiring, “So what now?” 

What he had actually meant to ask was _‘where do we go from here,’_ but quickly found he couldn’t form the words. Mentally cursing his inability to say what he wanted he was caught a bit off guard by Jack’s answer: “We get you some clothes.” 

“I have clothes Jack.” 

“No. You have a very revealing outfit that um…well, we just… You can’t go out like that.” 

Gazing at Jack perplexed he quietly questioned, “And why not Jack?” 

Less startled by that question than he had expected himself to be Jack answered, “Because um, well it’s very, um…” 

_“Revealing?”_

“Yes.” 

“And…?” 

“ _And…_ Well I’d, I’d have to pry everyone off of you and that’s really hard work, you know.” 

Daniel grinned before nodding and saying, “So what _should_ I be wearing, Jack?” 

“Hmm, hold on. I’ll be right back.” 

“Oh…okay.” 

Jack quickly disappeared into the next room rummaging around in the drawers trying to find something Daniel might feel comfortable in and settling for a large black t-shirt and jeans. Returning he offered, “Try these on.” 

Daniel gazed at the offered clothes frowning at the jeans. He wasn’t sure he’d much care for those but accepted them anyway before leaving the room to do as bid. When he returned Jack’s mouth dropped open and his eyes glazed over. Daniel blushed briefly before admitting, “Jack, I don’t like them.” 

“You look great…” 

“But I still don’t like them. I’m sorry, Jack.” 

Gently nibbling his bottom lip he nodded his head before responding, “No, no that’s perfectly all right and understandable. Tell me what you don’t like about them. Be honest and we’ll see what we can do to help.” 

“Well I…,” sighing he attempted to explain, “Jack I don’t…,” and shifted uncomfortably before brushing a hand down across the black t-shirt he now wore confessing, “I just… They feel too tight.” 

Narayana spoke up then, “Perhaps the texture is too harsh?” 

“No. No it’s, no they’re too…they’re just _too restrictive_.” 

Understanding Daniel’s discomfort Jack nodded his head, glancing at the size before again leaving the room. When he came back he had another shirt in his hands this one an extra large, “Here try this.” 

Hesitating he began, “I don’t know, Jack, I…,” then paused, nodding before quickly removing the t-shirt he wore. He slowly reached for the one Jack offered hearing the unmistakable drawn breath Jack took upon seeing his bare chest and grinned shyly before putting the offered shirt on. He tensed waiting for the restrictive feel of it, relieved when it hung looser on him. Shifting again he said, “I still don’t like these clothes, Jack, but this feels much better.” 

“You’re used to loose fitting clothes apparently.” 

“Free flowing clothes, yes.” 

His voice took on a softer tone as he offered, “Like your silks?” 

“Yes.” 

“Then we’ll get you some silks or satin…” 

“Satin, Jack?” 

“It’s a smooth softer fabric like silk but not the same. I’m sure there are men’s clothes made from it. They’ll be pricy but worth it if they increase your comfort.” 

“Oh…okay Jack. Thank…thank you.” 

“Sure. Anything for you, Daniel, anything for you…” 

Daniel offered another shy smile before gripping a small bit of denim and muttering, “What about these? I… They…” 

“The pants will be a little more difficult to replace. They’re designed to fit snug and tight. You need to break them in and…” 

“Break them in?” 

“Um wear them for a bit before they fit comfortably.” 

Furrowing his brow Daniel quietly grumbled, “And how long is ‘a bit’, Jack?” 

Picking up on the discomfort evident in Daniel’s voice he answered, “Too long for you… Here I’ll get a bigger size. They’ll still be somewhat restrictive but a little looser I hope.” 

“Oh…okay.” 

He left and returned again. When Daniel changed into the baggier jeans he smiled nervously before saying, “They’re a little better but not much. I’m sorry, Jack. I don’t mean to be so difficult…” 

“You’re not, really.” 

“Yes I am.” 

Cupping his cheek he softened his voice further as he reassured, “No you’re not. Okay?” 

Daniel nodded. 

Jack smiled before stating, “We’ll have to go shopping for you, but right now that’s the biggest size pants I have so you’ll have to wear them for a little bit. If it’s too much just take them off and…” 

“Run around naked?” 

“Nice image, but no.” 

Down casting his gaze he released a quiet, “Oh,” before glancing nervously at Jack and saying, “Okay Jack.” 

Looking at him now Jack was able to grasp the full impact of how difficult the changes would be for Daniel to accept and deal with. He was used to living as a slave and servant. He was used to a life that was automatically preplanned for him. He was used to being told what to do and ordered, _commanded_ , to follow another’s rules and expectations. In Mara’s world there was no room for free choice, independent thought or freedom of will. In Mara’s home Daniel was a slave who was expected, required to be only what Mara wanted him to be, no more and definitely no less. He had no free will. He had been stripped of the right to do things for himself. In his master’s world he was required to live _for Mara_ , never for himself. In his master’s world he was property and therefore had no say as to how he would be used by his master. In his master’s world his life was never _his_ to live. 

Saddened by that realization Jack found himself admitting, “There’s going to be some adjustment on both our parts here, Daniel, but that’s all perfectly normal, okay?” 

Lowering his head as if ashamed by that statement Daniel muttered a tense, “Okay,” that had Jack responding by instantly drawing him close choosing to change the topic as he gently prodded, “Hungry?” 

“Um yes but…” 

“Then let’s get something to eat. Whaddya say?” 

Daniel said nothing so Jack filled the silence with, “Come on. Let me show you how to use silverware and…” 

Daniel’s head flew up and he gazed at him with a mix of terror and shame lighting his expressive face before managing, “Jack, I...um I can…” and again lowered his gaze as he allowed the sentence to trail off. 

Jack instantly felt like an ass, as if he had just driven a knife into his own heart knowing his suggestion no doubt upset and hurt Daniel as he quickly came to realize that he either didn’t know how to use silverware or hadn’t in a very long time. Unfortunately that realization no doubt confounded in Daniel’s mind just how much of his life had been under another’s control stirring all kinds of self-doubt and self-loathing deep within. _Shit!_

Not knowing how to undo the error he had made Jack could only come up with a gentle, “Being hand fed is different than feeding yourself, Daniel, and you said he always…” 

“Yes for many years, since I was a boy he, um…,” dropping his gaze further Daniel nodded before informing, “I think I remember how from when I was a kid, so I should be fine.” 

Smiling Jack drew him into a tighter hug as he assured, “I’ll be here if you need me.” 

Daniel released a quiet sigh of relief before saying, “Thank you, Jack. Thank you…for everything.” 

Pulling apart they both headed into the dining room feeling more positive than before that everything would work out. It would just take some time, and time was something they both now had a lot of. 

* * * *

Several Weeks Later… 

_My adjustment to Jack’s world is turning out to be much more difficult than I had first expected. I have a hard time grasping the concept, the idea, the very notion that I am free. I don’t feel free at all. Instead I feel extremely uncomfortable and extremely awkward. He tries his best to make me feel calm, relaxed and comfortable. He’s there always helping me, guiding me, listening to me but still I feel extremely awkward in his world. The clothes I now wear are too tight and too restrictive. I can’t move freely in them. Jeans and a t-shirt, shoes and socks, a jacket when cold I… I don’t feel comfortable in them at all. He keeps trying though, bringing me shirts made of softer materials, jeans that are baggy instead of tight fitting yet I still feel out of place._

_I feel awkward not having to serve or be commanded to do things. I still wait to eat and drink so used to being fed ONLY when my master felt it was time for me TO eat. It saddens Jack I believe, but I can’t help it. If I ate or drank at will in my master’s house I would’ve been beaten and lost a hand. Those old fears are still there, though I trust Jack and know he’d never hurt me, but I also spent most of my life under another’s roof, serving another’s whims._

_This life is difficult for me, a challenge, and I fear it greatly upsets Jack. He doesn’t understand what I’m feeling, what I’m going through. He can’t comprehend why I can’t openly accept everything he’s given me. He tries, but I can see it frustrates him and when he’s frustrated so am I. I find myself longing to do some of those things I so loved to do at the palace but fearful to even attempt them because it will upset Jack, and I don’t want to upset him further. Still, I feel as if I’m trapped in a stranger’s body, in a stranger’s world, in a stranger’s life…_

 

After writing the entry he closed the book and walked around the house. He entered the spare room and noticed how open it was. Closing the door he found he couldn’t resist the urge to do something he used to do for entertainment. He walked over and clicked a knob on what Jack had called a radio and smiled when he heard music turning through stations until he found one that played fast tempo music. The words were foreign to him for he had only heard the language spoken, never used in a song but as the rhythm built he soon found himself lured into it. 

Without thought he removed the restrictive clothing, all but the t-shirt he wore and closed his eyes. As he closed them he listened to the beat and felt the rhythm thrum through his body. He swore he would only listen but soon he began to move his hips back and forth. He began swaying from side to side as the beat continued. Next he started to move his feet and without conscious realization he began to dance losing himself in the beat and the rhythm, losing track of time, of where he was allowing the music to speak to him and spark to life a part of himself he feared he’d have to sacrifice for Jack. 

* *

Jack returned to the house and immediately searched for Daniel growing worried when he couldn’t find him. He asked Narayana where he was and Narayana had informed him that he was unsure of Daniel’s whereabouts. Jack grew more anxious beginning to check every room in the house and pausing only when he heard a soft sensual beat…music. He held his breath as he carefully approached the final room he hadn’t yet checked and as he opened the door his breath hitched and his gaze fell to Daniel. He quickly became hypnotized as he took in Daniel’s features: his closed eyes, his languid movements, his silently drifting about the room as he danced around and around as if he were alone in the world. Daniel was a beautiful dancer and Jack quickly found himself captivated by him yet again. He could spend hours watching Daniel dance and soon he too lost track of time. He had no idea how long he stood there staring at the beautiful man dancing about the room. He didn’t move…until the beat of the music shifted growing slower, changing into a more intimate tune. 

* *

As the beat and tempo of the music changed Daniel slowed then stopped before opening his eyes, startled when he saw Jack, an apology already on his lips as fear began to crowd into him. Unable to find his voice Daniel shook his head before darting for the door intent on leaving the room as quickly as he was able. Jack halted him in his tracks with a simple touch that had him jerking back towards him before casting his gaze quickly to the floor. He found he couldn’t look at Jack and flinched at the softness in his lover’s voice as he gently questioned, “Daniel, are you afraid to dance because of me?” 

Shaking his head violently he replied, “No, no. I…!” Falling silent he lowered his gaze again before managing, “I didn’t want to remind you…” 

“What? Daniel, speak up. I can barely hear you.” 

Swallowing hard he repeated, “I didn’t want to remind you.” 

“Remind me? Of what?” 

“Of…of my life before you, of, of _him_ …of my role, my previous status I… I know how much it bothers you, Jack, and I didn’t want to remind you of…” 

Reaching out he gently cupped Daniel’s face before shaking his head and saying, “No, no. I don’t want you to do that, Daniel.” 

“To…to do what?” 

“To deny who you are, who you _were_. I don’t want you to feel you have to completely change for me, or anyone for that matter. I don’t want you denying who you are, Daniel. I want you to be who you are. I want you to continue to do those things that made you happy, that you enjoyed. If you want to continue dancing then _do it_ , don’t avoid it because of _me_ Daniel.” 

“But…” 

“No, no. Don’t deny who you are, Daniel, please. I don’t want you to sacrifice yourself to please me or make me happy or make me _forget_. Do you know what will make me happy, Daniel, do you?” 

The shake of his head was his only response prompting Jack to further soften his voice as he answered, “ _Being yourself_ , Daniel, that’s what makes me happy. When you’re able to be yourself and have no fear of upsetting me. I want that very much, Daniel.” 

“Wha…but I… There are things I… It upsets you, Jack, the things I used to do. My former life it upsets you and I…I don’t want to do that. I don’t like to do that…to you.” 

“Please be yourself, Daniel. Don’t deny who you are. Be that person, for me, for Narayana…for _yourself_. Please.” 

“All…all right, Jack, I’ll…I’ll try.” 

“Don’t try, Daniel, do. _Do it._ ” 

He nodded his head in agreement feeling relief fill him as Jack gave him permission to be who he wanted to be. He had been so afraid to upset and remind Jack of the life he had led that he had tried to eliminate anything and everything that could even remotely remind Jack of it, but in doing so he had felt as if his life were empty, as if he were nothing. He was miserable, and he didn’t know what to do to fix it. Now he had a direction again, a purpose, a reason. Now he was something more than _nothing_ , and he desired that very much, to be _something_. Releasing the tense breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding he felt as if he had also released an extremely heavy burden that had beforehand been crushing him so thoroughly beneath its weight. Now, now he could move on and hopefully become something more than just Mara’s pet slave. 

* * * *

 **Breaking the Chain**

Closing his eyes, squeezing them tightly shut he could hear the resounding crack as he recalled his master’s final cruelty towards him. He had been enraged. He had been so very angry, and Daniel still didn’t know why. He shook his head drawing his arms protectively around himself as he recalled huddling, literally huddling in the corner of the room afraid to move, unable to move. He recalled his master standing over him shouting before kicking him and shouting some more. He recalled too vividly curling around his hands, balling his body around them afraid, terrified that his master would destroy them as angry as he was. He remembered the pain, the fear, the terror of that moment. 

The beating seemed to last forever. It was vicious, brutal and all he could do was shiver and whimper, wince as again a kick was thrown at him. He prayed someone would stop it, but knew if anyone dared he would suffer even more. 

He recalled being dragged again to his feet, slammed back first against the wall feeling the yank on his arms and the harsh pulling on them as his master attempted to dislodge his hands from his chest. He would not yield and instead of doing whatever it had been his master had intended he felt the fist as it struck him hard across his cheek, felt his body slam against the wall to his left, felt his legs quiver, shaking so violently they crumpled beneath him and again he felt a kick, a strike. 

He doubled his efforts to safeguard his hands again curling his body so tightly around them managing somehow to turn and face the corner he was in, releasing a harsh cry of pain as another kick landed in his side and feeling overwhelming relief as blackness descended upon him praying his master would walk away when he saw his victim was no longer responsive. 

What happened after that he had no idea, but somehow sensed, knew, was certain that Narayana came to him, carried him to his rooms and tended to his many injuries. He remembered the first time he awoke in the aftermath his body so full of pain it stole his breath away but so grateful that he was in his rooms, no longer being assaulted… 

He jerked his head up then when he heard Jack call his name. When he focused on Jack he realized he was being asked if he were all right. He opened his mouth to say yes but instead found himself saying, “He wasn’t always like that, you know.” 

Knowing instantly who Daniel was speaking of he settled beside him and gently prodded, “Like what?” 

“Abusive. Angry…quick to punish… He used to be so good to me, and then something changed.” 

“What?” 

“You…and others…” 

“Others…?” 

“He was very jealous. He didn’t like me associating with people. He responded with restrictions and eventually… Well you know how it eventually ended up.” 

“He beat you.” 

Daniel nodded. Silence fell between them again for several moments before Daniel broke it with, “The only man he never became jealous of was Narayana.” 

“Why? What was different about him?” 

“He practically raised me, so Mara had no fear of him…stealing my affections. He knew how I felt about him and wasn’t threatened by him, but all others… He couldn’t control them. He began lashing out…at me. At first I didn’t understand why and then…I just accepted that our _relationship_ had changed and would never change back. You know, I never understood why he still held onto me when he always seemed so displeased with me.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“He could have sold me or destroyed me, but he did neither.” 

“Perhaps he loved you.” 

“I…I don’t know about that, Jack.” 

“Why, Daniel? You’re so easy to love.” 

“And to hate too apparently…” 

He noticed Daniel lower his gaze before beginning to unconsciously rub the back of his neck prompting him to question, “Are you all right? Daniel?” 

A distracted gaze flitted across his face before he replied with, “Hmm?” 

Jack softened his voice further as he questioned again, “Are you all right?” 

Again the distracted glance appeared and silence filled the room, silence that stretched for several moments before Daniel spoke again, “The collar was very heavy on my neck.” 

Feeling his throat painfully constrict Jack swallowed hard before forcing out, “What collar?” licking his lips nervously as Daniel continued on as if he hadn’t heard the question at all, “Hmm… It was extremely heavy. He referred to it as a training collar because it was so very heavy that I could barely hold my head up. It forced my gaze always to be cast downward and my head always to be bowed submissively, much like the cage did. It became one of his more common punishments.” 

Sure he already knew the answer but wanting to hear it from Daniel he asked, “Why?” 

“Because… It was to remind me of my place, of my status, of what I _was_ … I’d hurt after it was removed. Headaches, I’d get headaches and my muscles would always become so tight. Bruises, it left some of the nastiest bruises too… Do you know how hard it is to be forced to keep your head down and at the same time feel it _being_ pulled down? It was so heavy and by the end of the evening I nearly begged to be permitted to lie down, to gain relief from the chain. The next morning I’d have to rise again and kneel. The collar seemed heavier each day. When he took it off I was relieved and very willing to obey at all costs for fear I’d be made to suffer that punishment again. Funny you think something like a lashing would be more effective but no that collar was hell.” 

Without thought Jack moved to embrace the younger man pulling him into his arms as he said, “Oh Daniel I’m so sorry.” 

At first Daniel stiffened, unused to touch let alone hugs, but he quickly relaxed closing his eyes as he was held as if he were precious. He was never held like that before except by Narayana and he liked being held that way. 

After what seemed like hours Jack quietly inquired, “Daniel?” 

“Yes Jack?” 

“Why…I mean, that is…why did you allow it…for so long, his treatment of you?” 

“For precisely the reason you just stated…” 

“What?” 

“Because I was with him for so long… I spent years with him, Jack. He, I was dependent on him for my very existence. He taught me that at a very young age, taught me that I couldn’t exist, that I couldn’t _live_ without him.” 

“You see I still don’t quite understand that…” 

Relaxing against Jack he released a quiet sigh before answering, “Of course you wouldn’t, Jack. You can’t understand because you’ve never been in my place. He, I became his at a very young age. He claimed me and held onto me for many, many years. When I failed him I was re-educated. I was taught all over again that one golden rule of his…” 

“Treat others the way you want to be treated?” 

“No, Jack, don’t be silly. No. His golden rule was that I was dependent on him for everything, Jack, _everything_.” 

“You see now there’s where I’m confused, Daniel. I mean how could you give someone that much control over you?” 

Shaking his head he drew in a calming breath before continuing, “Have you ever had to rely on another for your basic needs, Jack? Have you ever had to rely on another, depend on another for food and water, shelter, clothes, freedom from chains?” 

“Well no…” 

“I was cast into his dungeon when I was very young. I was told that since I refused him I would get nothing that I needed, that I required to survive, to live. He didn’t just take away basic comforts Jack he took away my basic needs. He eliminated them completely. He didn’t feed me. He didn’t give me water. He didn’t give me a blanket or allow any light to touch my filthy cell. What he gave me was desperation and fear. What he gave me was terror and despair, Jack. I…I used to beg the guards for any food they could spare and they would give me none, that is unless they wanted entertainment then they’d toss me scraps, scraps Jack and they’d laugh at me as I scrambled around reaching out blindly in the darkness trying to seize any bit of food I could find. I had to fend off the mice, Jack, for what little was given to me. Water was given at more frequency simply because I think he desired to prolong my suffering, but it was only given on occasion and when he chose to grant it to me. I was an innocent, Jack. I had never been exposed to such cruelty before even upon my capture. When he finally freed me of that imprisonment it was only to force me to run through the gauntlet and it was only to kill me, Jack. His only reason for releasing me from that dreadful cell was to make me run a gauntlet meant to take my very life. When I survived he granted me a name and my “education” in dependence continued. Don’t get me wrong I was fed more often once I survived the gauntlet but when I was finally able to rise on my own, to function as his servant I was again taught that valuable lesson of his…” 

“That you were reliant on him for everything…” 

“Yes. This time though he used it as part of my trainings. If I was pleasing to him, if I pleased him that day then I would earn my food. If I disappointed him I would go hungry. I had considered stealing food, you know, but once saw him take a woman’s hand for that very crime. He…destroyed it and I knew that to touch food without the master’s permission would result in the loss of either one or both of my hands. I wasn’t willing to sacrifice them, Jack. In fact just the thought of possibly losing even one of them… It terrifies me to death, Jack, terrifies me to death…” 

He noticed that sometime during their conversation Daniel had unconsciously drawn his hands to his chest where they now resided, drawn tightly together being held over his heart, his body already half hunched over them as if to protect them. It was a gesture Narayana had warned him of, it was a gesture he had seen several times before, and the only reply he could form was to pull Daniel tighter against him, hold him close and gently rock him. 

He spoke softer this time as he said, “I think I’m starting to understand why you allowed him so much control. He was very cruel to you.” 

“No, no, not always. He was good to me in the beginning despite the games he played with feeding me. He, he would be so gentle with me. He would…he always fawned over me, always listened to me and took care of me until I began my training in the sensual arts…after, after that my time with him became much more intimate and…I, I was made to sleep with him.” 

“And just how old were you at the time?” 

“Oh um twenty, twenty something maybe I…I can’t recall. Those trainings…I hated them Jack. He would…he would, I was taught many positions and many…skills I’d rather have no knowledge of.” 

“What…what all were you taught?” 

“Everything you could imagine. Every way you could possibly think of to please a man or a woman…that was to be my newest function you see. I was to serve the elite. I was to meet their many…wiles no matter how bizarre, strange or perverse they were.” 

“But…why? What purpose…” 

“My main purpose in the bed chamber was as a spy for him. I was to please whoever he desired me to please and relay any information revealed to me during that time to him afterwards. Men and women it would seem have very loose tongues after they have been thoroughly pleasured and I was privy to all of it. I was in a sense a spy for him, a spy and a lure. My duties were many but my main ones were to please the elite, to lure others to him and to serve his every whim no matter how trivial or extravagant it was.” 

“My lover the spy… It has a catchy ring to it.” 

That brought a small smile to Daniel’s lips, which made Jack feel a whole hell of a lot better. He held the man tightly in his arms before pressing a kiss to his forehead and saying, “It sounds like you’ve lived a very…complicated life.” 

“Hmm you could say that.” 

They sat quietly after that neither speaking just enjoying being with each other, being close to one another. It wasn’t long before Daniel drifted asleep and Jack smiled brightly as he continued to hold him, silently urging him to dream pleasant dreams. 

When Narayana entered the room he smiled brightly before turning and exiting again to give them some time together, pleased that Jack was there for Daniel. 

* * * *

 **Daring to Take a First Step**

He knew he shouldn’t, after all it wasn’t his place to be touching things that didn’t belong to him, but he was drawn to it and as he settled on the bench swearing he wouldn’t touch anything his fingers found the keys and his eyes closed. 

Before he realized what he was doing he began to play pouring everything into what he was playing. He released his pain, his anger, his self-hatred, his anguish and directed it all into the notes he was now forcibly pressing into existence. His fingers roamed across the keys from one end to the other playing rapidly sometimes harmonious, sometimes off key, sometimes soft as if in a whisper, sometimes harsh as he banged into the keys driving the notes out, channeling his rage and pain into every note he created. His fingers knew where to go, where to touch, what to strike and tap. They knew how to work together. They knew how to create. This was the only gift his master had given him, the one gift he often attempted to beat out of him forcing him to play only what he wanted to hear. He tensed on edge awaiting the strike of the ruler, the impact of the belt as it was driven again and again across hands that refused to obey. He awaited the correction, the insistent order, the command _“Sarameya that is a depressing tune. Please play me something with a little more…flair.”_

He hated that command and hated being ordered, commanded to play what another wanted to hear instead of what he needed to hear. He hated that command so very much and hated the way his master would drive the belt across his hands and fingers again and again before ordering him to play and forcing him to continue for endless hours forcing aching, bleeding, sore fingers to move when all he wanted to do was curl up and clutch them so very close to him, to keep them safe from further abuse. 

He had always feared his master would one day succeed in breaking his hands, or permanently destroying them with his savage strikes. He had always feared that one of the prices his master would take from him was the use of his hands. He feared losing them and each time his master abused them he took extreme care of them, grateful when Narayana would tend to them and bandage them just so to keep his precious hands from being destroyed by the cruelty of an overbearing master. 

Shaking his head he allowed his hands to still unaware until he opened his eyes that his cheeks were damp and he felt utterly exhausted. He sat there for what seemed like hours jumping only when a soft tender voice said, “That was absolutely beautiful, Daniel.” 

Turning to gaze upon the face of the one addressing him he managed, “You didn’t stop me. You…you allowed me to…” 

He directed his gaze to his hands noticing that they were whole and complete. No nicks or cuts marred them, no bruises stood out stark against them. He closed his eyes in silent relief swallowing hard before managing, “He would always stop me. He’d beat them until they bled and after that he’d beat them more. It was my punishment for daring to play something for myself, instead of for the one who owned me. I always feared that one day…” 

His voice cracked and he lowered his head further gripping his hands tightly together before gasping when unfamiliar hands enclosed gently around them and the man with him said, “You have beautiful hands, Daniel, absolutely beautiful.” 

He blushed before nodding and falling silent again before saying, “I was afraid he’d destroy them.” 

Silence continued to stretch between them before Jack eventually broke it and guided Daniel into the bedroom where he watched him fall rapidly asleep then turned and headed to the living room halting as Narayana’s voice filled the room, “His fear was that his master would eventually destroy his hands, damage them to the point that they would be unusable. It is a fear he has always harbored deep inside.” 

“Did his master…did he beat them?” 

“Yes, you know that he did.” 

Jack didn’t speak only nodded before Narayana began again, “He would start with a ruler then switch to a belt. Daniel would always come to me nearly in tears clutching his hands so close to his heart, fearing the worst as I would gently draw them to me. He was afraid he would eventually lose all use of them and his master played on that fear, he played on it to the hilt, Jack.” 

“Did…how…I mean…” 

“He would become so very afraid. I would have to gently urge him to allow me to tend to them. I was always slow, tender…always taking great care in tending to them. You have no idea the fear he held deep within do you, Jack? You believed he was accepting of his place, and he was. He was, but he harbored much fear within him…” 

Silence again fell between them as seconds stretched into minutes before Narayana ended it with, “You gave him a great gift tonight.” 

“What? What gift?” 

“You allowed him the freedom to play for himself. You did not interfere. You did not attempt to stop him, instead you gave him the freedom to play what he desired and helped him more than you may ever realize. Thank you for that.” 

Jack’s voice grew gruff as he managed, “His hands were they ever _severely_ damaged?” 

Narayana stilled closing his eyes as he attempted to silence the memory stirring within, but as Jack repeated the question he found himself remembering a time long ago when Daniel nearly lost that which he valued highly…

_When he returned to the room to check on Daniel what he found was him balled up on his bed. He approached quickly before wrapping his arms firmly around him. Daniel’s first reaction was to fight but he presently had little strength and so he simply buried his face in the robes that belonged to Narayana. Recognizing the scent immediately he settled some before curling tighter against him his shoulders shaking. He rocked Daniel before softly saying, “Oh my beautiful Daniel what has he done to you now?”_

_Daniel said nothing only continued to cling to Narayana._

_After his tears were all spent he managed to lift his arm and drape it around Narayana’s neck before hoarsely asking, “Bath, please…help me bathe.”_

_“It will be my pleasure, Daniel. Come let us go.”_

_Narayana carefully lifted Daniel into his arms watching as he immediately attempted to grasp onto his robe with little success. It was then that he gazed with concern at his precious hands. They were swollen, cracked and bleeding again. He watched as Daniel attempted to tighten his grip only to release a heart shattering scream as pain ricocheted up his arm, drawing in a deep shaky breath he managed, “I can’t…I can’t move my fingers, Narayana. Oh God I can’t…no…no…I can’t lose them. Please tell me I didn’t lose them. Please!”_

_And again tears caught in his throat before rolling silently down over ashen cheeks as he gazed at his presently useless hands resting against his body. He couldn’t move them and his fear was so noticeable in his eyes. He knew that if he didn’t reassure Daniel he would begin to panic so softening his voice further he said, “They will be fine, Daniel. Once I tend to them they will be good as new. I promise you they will be fine.”_

_“No, no…I can’t…can’t feel them…I…I can’t…”_

_“They will be fine, Daniel. You shall see. They will be fine.”_

_Fear built in the young man’s eyes and soon he was drawing his hands tightly against his chest, a gesture Narayana was extremely used to seeing yet still had the power to cut and wound him deeply as Daniel’s pain sliced at him. As he drew them tightly against him, holding them directly over his heart Narayana had to blink back the moisture threatening to spill over. He couldn’t allow Daniel to see his own fear and worry. He had to remain strong and he would. His hands looked horribly damaged, as if Mara had chosen to destroy them making them permanently unusable. He prayed that Mara hadn’t succeeded in his goal. Daniel valued his hands highly and would die if he lost them to a tyrant’s anger and rage. He couldn’t allow that to happen. He couldn’t!_

_Deciding it would be best to get Daniel talking he questioned, “How did it happen?”_

_“I…I refused to play for him. He grew angry and…and smacked them with a ruler. He told me if I wouldn’t play for him then I would lose them. I started to play again, but he was not pleased with what I chose to play and he…it…he lost control and just… He stood over me railing and screaming and…”_

Silencing the memory Narayana returned his focus to the present nodding before managing, “After that he would shield them anytime he was able. If his master was disciplining him for an infraction he would no longer raise his hands to block the blows instead he would draw them close to his body and would curl around them to shield and protect them. It was a great fear he held onto. He was certain that one day they would be damaged beyond all repair and he was not ready or willing to sacrifice them.” 

Licking his lips he forced out, “After _what_ , Narayana? You were saying… What happened?” 

Closing his eyes Narayana realized that he had unknowingly revealed to Jack that there had been a time when Daniel’s hands had been severely damaged. Drawing in a calming breath as he prepared to tell the tale he answered, “There was one time Mara’s cruelty was extremely harsh. I feared that Daniel would lose both of his hands. I feared that they were truly damaged beyond all repair.” 

“God…” 

Continuing on as if he hadn’t heard the interruption Narayana managed, “I found him curled up in his bed. He was devastated, Jack. His hands…there was so much blood on the covers, on his silks, on his hands… The fingers, his precious fingers were mangled and…some were bent at awkward angles, no doubt broken from the repeated impact of strikes. I…there was so much blood… After I cleaned them…” 

Shaking his head he continued, “I feared the worst as did he. He begged me to heal his hands for him. He…he was so afraid that day. It took many, many weeks for his hands to mend. Mara had been merciful. He did not make Daniel play until they were completely healed. After that he would continue to beat Daniel’s hands when he played but when they began to bleed… He would strike them less choosing instead to make Daniel play for several hours on end without stopping…that was the discipline for the infraction: to make him play for endless hours only what Mara desired to hear, never what Daniel wanted to play.” 

“He… _Why?_ Didn’t the bastard have a healing device? He could’ve used that and… WHY?” 

Narayana focused intently on Jack as he simply said, “You already know the answer to that question, Jack.” 

He bit the word out as if it were acid to his mouth, _“Control.”_

“Yes. Mara was all about control. Daniel was _his_. Daniel _belonged_ to him, therefore he was treated as Mara saw fit. He could have healed Daniel’s hands with the hand device every time, but chose instead to make him suffer. Why? To again prove to Daniel that he was nothing more than a pretty object to be displayed and used as Mara saw fit. It took so long for Daniel’s hands to heal that time because Mara simply chose to make him suffer the pain. In doing so he assured a firmer hold on the one he owned and possessed. Daniel’s suffering did not matter to Mara as long as he could use it to drive a point home to his stubborn Lotar.” 

“Did he ever use the hand device?” 

“Yes at times he would become merciful and heal that which he destroyed. Daniel’s hands were as important to Mara as they were to Daniel. He did not want them destroyed. After that incident he waited several weeks then he used the hand device to mend his hands fully, but he refused to do so _immediately_. What point would he be able to make if he healed them right away? In doing as he had he again reaffirmed in Daniel’s mind that he relied on his master for _everything_ , even mercy. Mara showed him that he could give as well as take away and that he could do so at his own discretion.” 

Hot rage boiled within him, burning as he railed, “We should’ve killed the bastard when we had the chance!” 

Narayana only nodded his head in agreement.


	9. To You I Bare My Soul

**TO YOU I BARE MY SOUL  
The Path of True Love**

He gazed at Jack O’Neill for several moments knowing what he wanted to say but not certain how to present what Daniel requested of him. He knew how difficult it was for Daniel to share something so very personal with another that was not him. Narayana also knew that Daniel couldn’t do this himself because what he was now willing to offer Jack O’Neill was something far too precious and far too personal. As a result he told Daniel that he would do it for him _if_ he was certain. 

As he watched Jack now a distant memory flitted across his mind of the time he had given Daniel the gift he now wanted to share with the man he was in love with… 

_“Daniel, I have something for you.”_

_“For me? You didn’t…”_

_“I did. Here.”_

_Daniel smiled before slowly opening the gift gazing in surprise at the beautiful book contained within. He hesitantly reached in and carefully opened it before muttering, “It’s…it’s a journal, Narayana.”_

_Smiling he answered, “Yes it is, and now you have a place to create…”_

_“Thank you but…” growing sad he muttered, “I can’t accept it.”_

_“Why?”_

_“He’ll take it away.”_

_“Not if I keep it with my belongings. He will never know of its existence, Daniel.”_

_“You…you’d do that…for me?”_

_“Yes I would.”_

_Daniel smiled before hugging Narayana tightly._

Smiling softly at the brief memory he suddenly became aware that Jack was gazing at him waiting for him to speak. He quickly apologized for not paying attention before turning to completely face him informing, “Daniel is greatly saddened by the tension between the two of you.” 

Jack hesitated caught off guard by the statement. Yes there was a subtle tension between them, but it was natural. They were working through it together, but apparently Daniel saw it as a bigger problem than he did prompting him to ask, “Why? I mean…” 

“Please let me finish,” endeared Narayana. 

Jack nodded and Narayana continued, “He has tried to work things out with you, but there is much hindering him and holding him back.” 

“Ah…,” Now he understood. Daniel wasn’t able to share some things with him. His past wasn’t pretty and he often ignored any attempts to pry it out of him. It was frustrating but understandable considering all Daniel had suffered through. Aware that Narayana was speaking again he silenced his thoughts, “You insist that his life could not have been difficult, and for the most part you are correct, but there is much you do not know about Daniel…” 

He paused before continuing, “There was much involved to bend him, if you would, to Mara’s will. You have asked him why he would surrender all to a man who resorted to abusing him, and he has told you it is because he had no choice, because he was owned and not free. He was property. I know when he says these things to you that you become very angry because you cannot comprehend why. Daniel has tried many times to explain this very thing to you, but when he attempts to do so he is uncertain as to how to tell you. He would like you to know the answers to your questions, but is unable to find the words to tell you himself so he has asked me to do something for him. It is his hope that this will help him to tell you things he finds very difficult to speak of.” 

“Okay what did he ask you?” 

Hesitating only a moment, struggling for the right words to use Narayana continued, “Daniel has had no avenue through which to vent and deal with his emotions and feelings. He was denied such a right. He had no way of dealing with his life…” 

“So how’s he going to…?” 

“He had no way… Except _one_ …” 

“What?” 

“Mara did not know of this, for it was a secret I will never speak of to anyone…but you.” 

“What…what is it? How did he…?” 

“When he was very young he… I vowed to raise him as my own. I vowed to protect him as best I could and to do what I could for him despite the fact that My Lord owned him and viewed him as nothing more than a pretty trinket he could display and mold in his own image. I encouraged Daniel to be creative, to speak his mind, to grow on his own… When I saw the difficulty he was facing in coping with his master’s demands I presented him with a gift. He at first refused it for fear that Mara would find it and destroy it.” 

“And did he…find it I mean?” 

“No Jack.” 

“What was the gift?” 

Narayana turned and tugged one thing out of a box before turning back to Jack. He then continued, “What I offered him was this.” 

Jack looked at it and asked, “A book?” 

“Not just _a_ book, Jack, but a _journal_. This is HIS journal. This box is full of HIS journals. There are many.” 

“What?” 

“I gave him a new one each time he would fill one, and I kept them hidden among my own property in my room so that his master would never know about them.” 

“Journals…that box is full of…?” 

“Journals and other things that belong solely to Daniel, things he wanted to keep, to hold onto…things he knew Mara would never allow him to keep.” 

“Can I see what’s in there?” 

“Eventually yes…” 

“But…?” 

“But first I want you to take this. I want you to read it. Daniel wants you to read it. Please? He has asked that I permit you to read this because he cannot find the words to tell you, to explain his life to you. Some entries are very short, especially the first few. He was young when I first presented the journals to him but not so young that he could not write how he felt. However this journal was his first. In it he wrote mainly of his life before his captivity, mostly of his transition, some on his capture…but mostly he wrote things he feared he would forget as he became what Mara wanted him to be. Some entries are simply his name written out repeatedly or his birthday written out, while others are drawings and notes… After he wrote down the facts he did not want to forget, the things he feared he would eventually lose such as his own name, he found writing his feelings and emotions a very big challenge so he would draw or compose in the journals. Through the years he was able to express himself better, but still you will find entries full of facts like names, dates, events… One of his greatest fears was that he would lose himself and become…nothing so he wrote down names of everyone even those he was made to serve. He wrote of places and things… These journals contain the life he was forced to leave behind, the person he was made into, the trials and tribulations he had to face to become who he now is… Perhaps, perhaps this will help. He asked that you start at the very beginning with the very first entry and read from there.” 

“You um…is he, are you…are you both sure you want this?” 

“He has spent much time debating this very thing in his mind and has asked me to be the one to give these to you. However I will give you only one at a time for contained within the pages are many things you will find difficult to accept. There are many, many things you and he must discuss and deal with before I will even consider giving the next journal to you, and I will only do so when Daniel feels that you are ready and able to.” 

“Sounds fair I suppose…” 

“It is overly fair, Jack. He is revealing himself to you through these. You are not sharing nearly as much with him.” 

“Yeah, I know, I know he’s sacrificing his whole self whereas I’m only sacrificing my heart…” 

“You know what I am saying is true.” 

“Yes. Thank you.” 

Narayana bowed his head before adding, “He is very in love with you, Jack, and he is entrusting you with this information. Do not hurt him or you and I will both lose him.” 

With that said Narayana slipped quietly from the room carrying the box of remaining journals with him to give Jack time alone to contemplate what they had spoken of and to read some of the journal if he was ready to. 

As Jack opened to the first page he read the first entry: 

_My name is Daniel, Daniel Jackson._

Running his fingers over those very words Jack felt the moisture gathering at the corners of his eyes and sensed that the first entry alone revealed Daniel’s fear so well. He had been afraid he would forget his name and that alone made Jack feel sad. He stared at that entry for so long unable to turn the page or look away. Finally he carefully turned the now fragile page and gazed at the second entry: the names of his parents. 

Shaking his head he realized just what Narayana had been warning him of. This was the first journal, the one where Daniel had written down who he was before his capture, the one where he had written down what he recalled of his young life before it was so abruptly altered. As Jack gazed at the names of Daniel’s parents written so perfectly on that page surrounded with little hearts and things that only a young boy could have drawn Jack found himself wondering if Daniel still remembered anything he had recorded in this particular volume. Did he remember who his parents were, who he had been, where he had lived, what his favorite thing was? Did Daniel remember all that he had written in these pages or had those precious tiny little facts been lost to him in his unwilling journey into the dark reality of indentured servitude? 

Shaking his head again Jack turned the page and swallowed past the lump now formed in his throat as his gaze settled on the picture fastened there: a man and a woman who held between them a young boy of about eight. Jack had no doubt in his mind just who those people were in the photo and as he gazed at the unique scrawl under the photograph he had a sneaking suspicion that Narayana had been the one to label this particular picture: 

_Daniel with his parents_

“Ah Daniel…” 

Shaking his head he carefully closed the precious aged volume and drew it to him aware of just how important and valuable this particular journal must be to Daniel. He was also certain that the single picture fastened on the third page was probably the only photograph Daniel had of his parents and himself. He wondered how the photograph survived through the years. Daniel must have had it in his possession when he was sold to Mara, but how it slipped through Mara’s fingers to be preserved after all those years had him wondering… He suspected that Narayana had something to do with the acquisition and preservation of that particular photo and was once again reminded of just how much Daniel meant to the Jaffa. They were family though they were so very different and from two very different worlds. At least Daniel had had someone watching over him through it all. 

He sighed heavily before gazing at the cover of the journal once more. In this book was a part of Daniel and he had been willing to share it with him. 

* *

**Traversing Mt. Meru**

He went searching for Daniel after that finding him alone on the back porch gazing at the starry sky above. He quietly approached before softly inquiring, “Are you cold, Daniel?” 

“No. No. I’m just…” 

He turned to focus on Jack gazing at him noting the sadness in his gaze. He offered a small smile when he saw what Jack held in his hands. 

“He gave you the first volume.” 

“Yes.” 

“Good.” 

“Daniel…” 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t… I… It’s very difficult for me, Jack, to share my…my early life with you. I was very confused back then. Confused, scared, uncertain, terrified actually…I wasn’t sure…of anything really. I…” 

“I know.” 

“How far did you get, Jack?” 

“Um not far, not yet.” 

“Where did you stop?” 

“The photo.” 

Daniel smiled then before commenting, “It’s the only thing I managed to hold onto after…after they were killed. I kept it hidden, guarded it so closely. No one…no one knew of its existence. It was the only thing I was able to salvage and I cherish it, Jack.” 

“You look happy…in the photo I mean. How old were you?” 

“Eight, I was eight…that was taken shortly before they… I lost them, lost myself after that. Narayana, when he found it I was so afraid. I begged him, Jack, I begged him not to destroy it. I think that was the first time I actually cried after my capture. I was deathly afraid of Narayana when I had first met him. He was intimidating to me. I just…I was afraid and when he discovered that picture I was certain he would destroy it before me.” 

“But he didn’t.” 

“No. No he didn’t.” 

“What did he do?” 

“I was in tears, Jack. I was desperate. I was devastated. I pleaded and I begged he…” 

“What, Daniel, he what?” 

“He approached me, wrapped his arms around me tightly and hugged me. He told me to calm down and to relax then he began to slowly rock me. He held me like my parents used to when I was afraid or scared. After I calmed he asked me about them. I…I wanted to answer, but I was afraid of what he’d do once he, once I told him who they were. I asked him again not to take it, not to destroy it and he assured me he wouldn’t. He held me after that for, oh I don’t know how long. I think…I think that’s what drew us together. He…he’s been with me ever since.” 

“So he’s always protected you, kept you safe, watched over you, been there for you?” 

“Yes. He’s the father I lost, Jack, without him… I don’t even want to think about what my life would have been like without him. I needed him. I need him. I know that sounds strange, odd to you but he’s…he’s always, he’s…” 

“He raised you.” 

“Yes he did. I…Mara always wanted to turn me into a puppet for him, someone, something, he could always control. He wanted me fully dependent on him for everything. Narayana wanted me to grow on my own. He nurtured me. He encouraged me to think freely, think on my own, think for myself. He wanted me to know, to have a taste of what freedom was, what freedom is and he always fostered that in me. He always urged me to be independent and he helped me, showed me if you would, how to erect or rather perfect a mask of full complacency. He knew if Mara saw my will, my strength, my spirit he would crush it so Narayana silently fed it, fueled it, fueled me and taught me how to portray one thing when feeling another. If I couldn’t conceal it Narayana always got me quickly out of the sight of others, so Mara never saw my anger and rage, my defiance, my hatred of him...” 

“So you owe Narayana a lot then.” 

“I owe him my life, Jack.” 

“Tell me about him.” 

“What do you want to know?” 

“Was he always kind to you?” 

“He never hurt me if that’s what you mean.” 

“In the beginning…” 

“In the beginning he ordered me around often, but it wasn’t what you’re thinking.” 

“Then what was it?” 

“When I first began my training I was…sloppy. When I first arrived at Mara’s estate I was untrained, wild, untamed… I would fight and resist. Narayana would order me to stop, to be silent, to not speak to Mara directly unless spoken to. He warned me of what could happen if I resisted, if I fought, if I attempted escape and upon return after my escapes he was always there watching me. I would become so alone and he’d stay with me. He wouldn’t speak, but he wouldn’t leave either. It was as if he knew I needed someone. When I would be punished he was always nearby and upon being told I could be tended to Narayana was always the first to run to my side and tend my injuries. I was afraid of him, yet he was always there for me. I would try to anger him sometimes to chase him away, but always he would return, always.” 

“I’m glad you had _someone_ , Daniel.” 

A whimsical smile crossed Daniel’s face as he gazed at Jack before inviting him to join him. 

Jack settled beside him before Daniel turned and gazed at the darkened sky once again, his face in profile. He caught his breath as he watched Daniel. Several moments later he broke the silence with, “What were you thinking before I came out here?” 

Without turning Daniel answered, “The sky is so different here. The stars are so different. I like it.” 

“You like it?” 

“Yes I do, very much.” 

Jack smiled before turning and tugging him gently into his arms. Daniel slid easily into place before leaning against Jack whose arms gently wrapped around him. Sighing in contentment Daniel let his head drift back against Jack allowing him to simply hold him close. 

Smiling softly Daniel added, “My life was never easy, Jack, and some things you read will anger you, but please don’t let that stop you. I want you to know I just… I just don’t know how to tell you myself.” 

“Thank you, Daniel, for… Thank you.” 

Daniel only nodded before relaxing further in Jack’s embrace. 

* * * *

**SECRETS REVEALED  
Baring Witness**

 

_**“Why do you tolerate it?”** _

_**“Tolerate what?”** _

_**“His abuse of you…”** _

_Many have asked me that very question. Why? Why do I tolerate it? Why do I allow My Master to abuse me? The answer is simple though many don’t really want to know it or hear any reason for my acceptance of it. The answer is because I have no choice. If My Master feels I need to be punished he will deliver it without a second thought, and I must submit to it. I have no choice but to submit._

_Some have tried to argue with me, to tell me I should fight back. Some have even demanded of me why I never have even when I grew from a boy into a man. Why, they ask, why do I tolerate it? Why do I allow it? I could resist. I could fight. I could run…_

_What they don’t realize is even though I could possibly overpower him I would never resist him. Why? Because I fear him and that fear is deeply ingrained in me. I have grown up serving him. My entire life has been spent obeying him and serving him. Any time I fought or attempted to resist he countered with horrible punishments and restrictions. I learned quickly…but even after I had learned I still dared on occasion to resist him and always he countered with uncontrolled rage and violence._

_The last time I dared to fight him it took me a month to fully recover and though I hurt, though I was in pain and he had the ability to heal me he chose to make me suffer. Once he felt I had served his sentence adequately it was then that he healed me. Most of the time he heals me within hours or heals some of the worst injuries, however, there are also many times when I have laid before him on the floor unable to move due to a severe break to a leg or arm bone. He leaves me lay there sometimes for hours before he finds enough mercy in his black soul to use the healing device to repair the damage he has instilled._

_When you’re forced to remain where you have collapsed feeling your leg or arm swelling, growing cold and aching, trying to move yet unable to because you have suffered a broken or fractured bone you quickly learn your lesson. A break is a very painful injury and the fear it stirs within you is enough to thoroughly terrify you, especially when you realize you’re lying at your Master’s feet unable to move and dependent on him to help you, while knowing he won’t tend to you until **he** decides it is time. _

_When you know you’re not alone and that you need help to move, when you know the one who stands there has the ability to heal you but refuses to then you remember again just whom you’re reliant on. When you realize your master has the power to destroy you or leave you if he so chooses any thought of resisting and fighting him all but vanishes from your mind. When the one you’re reliant on chooses to leave the room and lock the door behind him refusing to permit anyone to tend to you again you are reminded of what you are. Those moments terrify you when you find yourself all alone in a room bloody, beaten, unable to move due to a broken leg, all avenues of aid and help cut off from you, while your calls for help go ignored it is then that you know, that you realize, that you remember on whom you rely._

_Broken bones that go unattended only continue to swell and soon fever sets in, yet still you remain alone suffering silently as you remain imprisoned in a room that only your master knows of…those are memories I’ll never forget, moments when after spending what seemed like hours in that room alone suffering unable to move your master returns only to lower beside you and taunt you requesting that you must beg forgiveness before you will be tended and healed. Those are the moments, the times when you feel most exposed, most vulnerable. Those are the times when you realize again your life is not your own, that your pain and suffering means nothing, that **you** mean nothing for objects are merely seen and not heard. Those are some of the most terrifying moments of my life, and it amazes me how many people have asked why I don’t fight back. If they only knew the truth I doubt they would ever question again._

 

He was shocked by that entry. Swallowing hard he could only shake his head feeling his heart breaking as he envisioned a young Daniel calling out for help, unable to move due to having a broken leg only to be visited by a master who demanded he beg for forgiveness before healing him. 

As the door opened he tensed and quickly glanced up. Within moments Narayana was at his side asking him what was wrong before his eyes took in the journal. When he saw it he could only sigh before softly inquiring, “Jack? Jack, are you all right? Jack?” 

Staring blankly ahead he swallowed hard before croaking out, “He broke his leg and refused to tend to him. Why? Why, Narayana?” 

Lowering his gaze momentarily he hesitated before returning it to answer, “It was not uncommon in the beginning for Mara to abuse Daniel. He would punish him for refusal to comply, for arguing, for daring to step above his station, for daring to demonstrate that he was more than property. Those first years were incredibly hard for him. He suffered much until his lessons were ingrained deeply within him.” 

“But Narayana this, he…this is a newer journal. He wrote this when he was no longer a boy, and I sense it was written right after…” 

“Many of the things that happened to him in those first few years he could not speak of until he was much older. Some things he has even blocked from his mind.” 

“But that doesn’t explain… I mean he… When did this incident take place?” 

“There have been numerous incidents such as that throughout his lifetime, for he became quite rebellious at times. He didn’t like his status and would sometimes test Mara, even after he knew and understood his place. Mara countered with cruelty and harsh discipline. Daniel has suffered much under Mara’s rule and would often find himself at his mercy.” 

“Did he…? Was he always at the mercy of…?” 

“Yes. Sometimes, sometimes Mara would punish him for things beyond his control. He would vent his anger and frustration, taking it out solely on Daniel because Daniel was convenient. It was at those times that Daniel suffered the most.” 

“Why?” 

“Because Mara had no control and Daniel’s purpose was, has always been to be pleasing to all even if that required he be beaten by his master because he simply needed someone to take his anger out on, someone to blame.” 

“I thought most of the abuse happened after I came into his life.” 

“The abuse _increased_ when you were captured. It never really stopped completely. It lessened. When Daniel was first captured he was left alone for the most part. The only time he was punished was when he refused to eat and after he escaped. Mara barely gave him a passing glance in those early days. True he purchased him for his beauty and desired even then to make him his most favored, but when Daniel refused him he chose to imprison him and forget him. Mara didn’t really notice Daniel again until after he survived the gauntlet and healed. It was then that he began shaping Daniel into what he had wanted all along.” 

“His slave…” 

“Yes. His slave, his Lotar, his consort…” 

“Wait! I thought you said…I mean he said he didn’t, that he wasn’t made to sleep with Mara until he was in his early twenties…” 

“He decided Daniel’s fate many years before that. As Daniel grew he was trained and Mara’s plan was to make him his consort, but the training in that area was not started until he was considered old enough.” 

“And how old was _old enough_ , Narayana?” 

“When he turned eighteen years of age…” 

“Eighteen?” 

“Yes. After that he was made to serve his master in _all_ areas.” 

“Including the bed chamber?” 

“Yes, Jack, including the bed chamber.” 

“Was he…did he, um where did he sleep when he was, I mean…?” 

“He was not granted his own rooms until he was required to serve all in the bed chamber. After that he would sleep there, but any time his master required ‘company’ Daniel was expected to serve him without question.” 

“And how often was he…required to serve his master in the bed chamber?” 

“More often than you realize, Jack.” 

“More often than…did he still serve him after I was captured?” 

“Yes.” 

Jack opened his mouth to speak but closed it again surprise evident on his face. Narayana spoke again, “It was not by choice he served his master in the bed chamber, Jack. It was a requirement. It was expected and he had to submit completely, for Mara desired a submissive partner when being pleased.” 

“I um…he… Is that part of the reason he wanted me to read these because he couldn’t tell me…” 

“Yes, Jack. There are many things he is unable to speak of. Many of those things he wants to share with you, but anytime he has tried he finds he cannot so he found a way to do so without having to tell you himself. Do not judge him based on what you read. The reason he has gifted you with insight into him, by permitting you to read his private thoughts is because he desires to become closer to you not push you away. Please do not hold what you read in his journals against him. Please Jack.” 

“I won’t. I’m just…I’m surprised by this. I never realized that he served Mara in…but I suppose that would make sense. I just never allowed myself to think about it.” 

“To do so is very difficult for you.” 

“Yes.” 

“It is understandable.” 

Nodding Jack hesitantly asked, “What…what did he _do_ when he was…?” 

“Exactly what you believe he did.” 

Swallowing hard he squeezed his eyes tightly shut as he muttered a quiet, “Ah Daniel,” before inclining his head and leaving the room. 

Narayana watched him go certain that Jack was seeking quiet solitude to contemplate what had just been revealed to him and to find a way to accept it, deal with it and move on. 

* * * *

 **THE WINDS OF CHANGE  
Anila Waits**

He watched for several moments debating whether to approach or stay where he was. He was caught in indecision feeling nervous and anxious at the same time. Jack was reading another of his journals, which one he wasn’t certain but whichever one it was Jack was sure focused on it for he heard nothing else in the room. As Jack turned the page his decision was made. He’d join him and they could read some of the passages together. After all they had a lot to talk about and avoiding Jack was not the way to do that, so softly sighing Daniel began to move. He quietly entered the living room asking but already knowing, “What are you doing, Jack?” 

His head flew up and he quickly closed the book in his lap. Daniel approached settling beside him, placing a hand over the one on the book and gently grasping it. Softening his voice he said, “It’s okay, Jack, I want you to read it. I know you’re reading them. You don’t have to hide it from me.” 

Jack swallowed hard nodding before glancing up as he said, “But…doesn’t this bother you at all?” 

_Well yes but…_

“I can’t find the words to tell you. I…I try but some things I just…can’t tell you. Some things I want so badly to tell you and other things I…you need to hear, but I…this is all I had, Jack. These books you’re reading were my avenue to escape, to explore, to sort out my feelings and record my life. They’re very important to me…and _you’re_ very important to me.” 

“But…” 

“This is what I want, Jack. It needs to be dealt with. We need to deal with this together. There is a lot you still don’t know about me and these books hold those answers. I want you to read them. I need you to read them. Now, where did you stop?” 

“I…I don’t know.” 

Daniel reached for the journal opening it to the page Jack still had marked with a finger and read the entry. He smiled before asking, “Have you read this entry yet?” 

“No.” 

Shifting the book half onto Jack’s lap so it settled between them Daniel urged, “Go ahead. Read it.” 

“But Daniel…” 

“Read it, Jack, please.” 

“Oh…okay, Daniel, but…” 

“Read it.” 

Lowering his gaze Jack began to do as bid…

 

_He is one of my many “clients”. He visits me regularly and every time I look at him he surprises and confuses me further. As I gaze into his eyes I see something rare there, something most uncommon in my clients. As he asks me to dance for him I obey bowing my head as I release a soft, “Yes My Lord” before I begin. I dance for him until he tells me to stop. Then? Then he leans in and kisses me briefly on the cheek not on the lips like those who desire so much more from me. Then he places in my hand two wrapped items. One he tells me is my payment for my master the other he tells me to keep for myself. He tells me that perhaps one day I will find what I seek and then he disappears from the room. Quickly I slip what is for me under my bed then I walk to the center of the room where I lower to my knees and sit, head bowed, as I await the arrival of my master. He doesn’t make me wait long approaching me he tells me I have done well and I shall serve his client again, for he has asked for me. I await his next command placing my payment in his outstretched hand. He opens the bag and smiles, “Twenty pieces of gold. You have pleased him much, Sarameya.”_

_I try to conceal my shock at the price he pays simply to see me dance for him and become certain that the next time he will expect much more._

 

He was certain that the entry he had just read revolved around the elderly gentlemen he had seen paying Daniel a visit not long before they had made their escape. Shaking his head he reread the passage jumping when a familiar soft voice interrupted his thoughts with, “He never did, you know.” 

Glancing up he looked at Daniel noticing that he was focused on the open entry before him and managed, “What Daniel?” 

“He never expected more. He would visit me once a week and ask only that I dance for him. Then he would pay me twenty pieces of gold and hand me a gift. Then he would leave.” 

“What was the gift?” 

Daniel smiled softly answering, “Five pieces for me.” 

“Gold?” 

“Yes.” 

“But why?” 

“So that I could one day buy my freedom, Jack…” 

“And?” 

“I wasn’t allowed freedom, Jack. The price would never be high enough. Mara would have never allowed it.” 

“So what did you do with it?” 

“Narayana has it. I told him if I couldn’t use it then he should.” 

“And do you think he kept it?” 

“No. I know he did. He once told me what was mine would always be mine.” 

“And you believe him?” 

“I trust him, Jack.” 

“And your client?” 

“I told him I would never be free of Mara, that he wouldn’t allow it and I thanked him for it. I told him if he wanted it back it was here. He told me it was mine given as a gift and to keep it.” 

“And did he still come to you?” 

“Yes, you know he did.” 

“And what did he do?” 

“Asked me to dance for him…” 

“Did he still give you a gift?” 

“Yes.” 

“And what was it?” 

“Five pieces of gold… He always told me he was still hoping that I’d one day find freedom.” 

“And then he left just like that?” 

“Yes.” 

“Why?” 

“I don’t know, Jack. It’s never made any kind of sense to me.” 

“Were all your clients so generous?” 

“No. No. Some were, some weren’t but he’s the only one to pay so much for so little.” 

“Did you ever know who he was?” 

“No. NO, though he did tell me once to call him Nick. He requested it, insisted that I not use the formal title of ‘My Lord’.” 

“Why?” 

“I don’t know, Jack.” 

“Does Narayana know about him?” 

“Yes he knew all of my clients. I imagine he researched the man too.” 

“Why?” 

“To make certain his intentions were honorable, to ensure that he would never harm me.” 

“Ah.” 

“Yeah…” 

“So what were your other clients like?” 

“You said you wouldn’t ask.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be. Some came for what you suspected, others didn’t, he was one who didn’t,” pausing only briefly Daniel hesitated a moment before asking, “You’re on the journal about him right?” 

“Yes why?” 

Daniel extended his hand as he urged, “Here.” 

Jack extended the journal and watched as Daniel read the entry briefly before beginning to flip back further in the journal pausing at another entry. He read the page briefly before looking up and saying, “I know I requested you read all the entries in order…” 

“But…?” 

Daniel handed the journal back holding his hand on an open page Jack hadn’t yet read. He smiled nervously before urging, “Go on. Read it.” 

“Daniel, are you sure?” 

Daniel nervously licked his lips before nodding and saying, “It will answer a few of your questions. Go ahead.” 

He gazed at Daniel in concern before Daniel offered a quiet imploring, “Please.” 

He nodded before lowering his eyes to the newly opened page:

 

_My “customers” each have names. Some would think I’d desire to forget them all, forget their names, forget what I do for them when commanded to serve them. Some would question why, why would I desire to remember ANY of **THAT**? _

_Truth is, much as I hate to accept it, they are a part of my life, and I want to remember my life. I want to remember who I was, who I am, who I will be. I’m terrified of forgetting it all. Once that happens I’ll become **nothing** , for if one forgets their life they forget themselves. I won’t do that, so I write it down. I write **everything** down. I want to remember. _

_Some things I know I’ve blocked out, some things I can recall but not in much detail. Other things I remember crystal clear. Now? Now I record everything even things that seem unimportant because everything even those unimportant things have in some way shaped and influenced me to become who I now am._

_My “customers” are each unique in their own way. Some come strictly for the sex…most come strictly for sex but others? They come for companionship. They too desire to bed me, but they make it more personal. They want to **know** me, to know **about** me and who I am. They want intimacy that goes beyond a simple fuck. They want to figure me out and instead of getting answers they become more curious. In the end they come because they want to solve the puzzle that is me. Those are the ones who want sex and talk in the beginning that eventually leads to a lot less carnal pleasure and a lot more chatter. They make me feel relieved because in the end I don’t have to tolerate their pawing or endure their fucking me into the mattress, or try to deny how much I enjoy what they do to me while at the same time feeling filthy and disgusted with myself for liking it so damned much. They offer me a reprieve, however minor it might be. It’s enough though to stave off my despair…at least temporarily. _

_There are others though, a whole other breed of customer who likes to fuck and to dominate. They are the dangerous ones. They are the ones My Master often warned me of in my trainings: **do not anger them pet, do not fight them, do not speak unless they tell you to for they will beat you into compliance, do not let me find that you have been beaten by one I have warned you to be cautious around, sweet pet…** _

_He hurts me now too, but at least he had warned me of those who desire full domination. He, however, neglected to warn me of those who will deliberately induce pain without being angered because it feels good to them. No. These are the ones I had heard of but never faced until I began to serve. They like pain. They like to inflict it and have it inflicted upon them. So strange that class of people, so very strange and it took me some time to understand them. They create a balance between pleasure and pain that can make you feel so…good. It’s strange those that like such a balance. They make me afraid, but they are the most concerned of all, always wanting to know if I’m all right, if I’m comfortable, if it’s too much, if it’s too little. They desire my pleasure as much as I desire to give them pleasure in return. The pleasure isn’t one sided with them, it’s never just about **them**. No, they are as concerned for me as they are for themselves. It’s strange really, but true. They are the ones that make me most curious. _

_And then there are the ones who truly confuse me, and I can never figure out. They are few but some visit. Those are the ones who desire neither pleasure nor pain only company. They make small requests and pay favorably for them, for something as simple as a dance or conversation. They will pay a high price for so little and never do they expect nor demand more. They are a strange group indeed. They are a group I will never understand. Perhaps someday I will…_

_But whether my customers desire to hurt me or fuck me I still record them in my journals. I record my thoughts of them, my suspicions about them, descriptions of them, names, dates, places…things they’ve said, things they’ve done, things we’ve done… Whether they are painful memories or pleasant ones I record them in my journal, every last one of them, for I fear that one day when I finally forget them I will also forget myself and that is far more terrifying than remembering them to me._

 

“Ah Daniel,” released Jack in a choked voice. 

“Yeah, now you know why I’ve always held onto those journals with a death grip. Narayana he keeps them safe for me, always has, always will. He keeps my _life_ safe for me. He holds my memories, my thoughts, my feelings in his hands, keeps them near him always. My most valuable possessions right next to this necklace.” 

Jack gazed at the necklace knowing only very little about it. Clearing his throat he asked, “Who gave that to you?” 

Daniel smiled softly before answering, “One of my customers.” 

“And you kept it?” 

“Yes.” 

“Why?” 

“Because…” 

“Because?” 

“Yes. He told me it was a gift because I had finally found love…in you, Jack.” 

“The old man…?” 

“Yes.” 

“He… Wow.” 

Daniel’s smile broadened as he continued, “That’s not the only reason it’s valuable to me though.” 

“What other reasons…?” 

“Perhaps someday I’ll be able to tell you.” 

He opened his mouth only to close it again wanting to push, but respecting Daniel too much to pursue so he nodded before changing the subject slightly, “The journals…" 

“Are my life, Jack, every part of it even those things I have long since forgotten. It’s all in there, every last thing: who I was, who I am, who I had to be…all of my hopes, all of my dreams, my fears, my pain, my happiness, my suffering, my memories…all of them Jack. They’re all in those precious little books you’ve been reading. My life is in those books. My greatest fear was that I would eventually lose myself…completely. When Narayana gave that first journal to me he gave me back my very life. He gave me a way to keep it safe, a way to be assured that I’d never truly become lost. Without them I’m nothing, Jack, without those memories, those experiences I’m nothing, a lot had to remain hidden, a lot had to be buried, kept safe before it blew away like ash. 

He wanted me to forget. He wanted me to have no memory, no life before or after him. He wanted ALL of me, Jack, and those journals? I fought him and I won because though I became what he wanted, obeyed without question, accepted everything he bestowed upon me even the horrific beatings I still held one thing he could never, would never take away, one tiny little secret that assured I would always have the upper hand no matter how small of one it was. I had my life, my thoughts, my feelings, my emotions, my experiences…I had it all and he had _no idea_. Had he known I’ve no doubt he would’ve burned them all before me because he would have realized their significance and had he done that I would’ve truly become lost, Jack, because those journals are my life. They hold my life in them. 

My life is an open book to those who dare to look, but no one will ever get that chance, no one, no one that is but Narayana…and you. The journals? They were given as a gift, a simple gift that became so very important to me, a gift from the heart given to a scared, terrified teenager by the man he would eventually come to view as the father he had at one time lost.”

“Wow that’s…wow.” 

Daniel’s smile broadened and he sighed in pleasure as Jack drew him against him giving him a squeeze before carefully closing the book in their laps. He turned then and pressed a soft kiss to Daniel’s lips smiling when the man reacted by leaning in towards him. As their bodies connected pleasant chills flooded him like a shockwave forcing him to draw back panting as he gazed into Daniel’s eyes. When Daniel offered him a questioning gaze Jack informed, “I’m heading up to take a shower.” 

“Jack…” 

Seeing the puzzled, hurt confusion in Daniel’s eyes at his response Jack reached up to gently cup his face before softening his voice as he said, “I don’t want to move too fast for you, Daniel, and if I stay here and kiss you like that again I’ll melt. I want to…I want you so badly, but not until you’re ready for me, Daniel, not until you’re ready.” 

“What if I am, Jack?” 

Shaking his head he answered, “You’re not. It’s too soon for both of us, and you know it.” 

A soft pout spread across luscious lips and Jack found himself groaning as he responded so readily to it. Shifting he continued, “Don’t push this Daniel. We have a lifetime and I’m willing to wait for you forever.” 

“Forever Jack?” 

“Forever and ever, Daniel…” 

Releasing a frustrated sigh Daniel nodded saying, “Okay, okay Jack. I know you’re right about this. It’s just that…” 

“I understand, love, more than you know. Now I’m going to head upstairs. Come and join me when, _if_ you’re ready okay?” 

“Okay, Jack. I will.” 

Jack placed a tender kiss to Daniel’s forehead before smiling broader and saying, “See you soon.” 

Daniel returned the smile nodding before replying, “Jack?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Thanks, thank you for…for being so patient and so…just thank you.” 

“Anytime, Daniel…” 

He nodded watching as Jack left the room feeling warm and loved. Upon hearing Jack reaching the top of the steps he headed to the porch to sit for a bit. 

* *

After Jack left the room Daniel walked outside carefully fingering the necklace he wore. Jack knew of it, but he never explained why he wore it. As he settled on the back porch he lowered into a chair and tipped his head back to gaze at the darkening sky above before closing his eyes as the memory of that day returned to him, 

_“Hello Sarameya.”_

_“Welcome My… Nick.”_

_“I have heard that you may have found love.”_

_He paled considerably before managing, “What…whatever do you mean?”_

_“Not to worry. You’re secret it is safe with me. Now I desire to see you dance.”_

_He complied slowly dancing until he was finished. The man smiled then gave to him two wrapped packages. Daniel graciously accepted them and began to lower. Nick stopped him and said, “I have waited for some time to give you this gift. When Narayana confirmed you were in love I knew it was time.”_

_“No. You don’t need to give me anything else. You’ve given me so much already. I couldn’t possibly accept more.”_

_“Hush this is a special gift from me to you. Now please open it before me.”_

_He inclined his head before doing as bid. When he opened the package he gasped and drew the necklace across his hand gazing at the object dangling from it._

_Nick continued, “I know you are not permitted such things, but I also know that Narayana keeps things for you. This I wanted you to have as a special gift between you and I.”_

_Daniel said nothing gazing at the necklace finding his mind being bombarded suddenly with images. He was unaware that a tear had found its way down his cheek until Nick gently brushed it away and said, “You are pleased.”_

_“Hmm…? Yes, yes, I… Thank you. It’s, it’s very special.”_

_“You have seen such a necklace before?”_

_“Once yes.”_

_“May I ask…?”_

_“It was my mother’s. Her father gave it to her, or so she said. She never took it off. She used to tell me about him. He traveled a lot and he always brought her unique gifts. This…a necklace like this he told her was for protection, to protect her and her family.”_

_“And now it shall protect her son.”_

_Daniel looked up and focused intently on the man. He then smiled softly before again uttering a soft quiet, “Thank you. It means a lot to me.”_

_“Sarameya if I might ask whatever happened to your mother?”_

_“She was…killed. They were both killed for their beliefs. I was there. I… They stole me away after that. I’ve not been home since. This place…this is my home now.”_

_“But what of your former home?”_

_“I can never return, for My Master would never allow it.”_

_“Ah but you are in love perhaps he will help you to get away?”_

_“Yes I believe he would, if he could, but it’s not that easy.”_

_“Some things are never easy. If you don’t mind me asking what was your mother’s name?”_

_“Claire, her name, it was Claire.”_

_“Ah a beautiful name.”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Do you remember her?”_

_“She died when I was only eight. I…I remember images mainly, and feelings, emotions, her smile… I know she loved me. I…I miss her.”_

_Nick smiled before saying, “I shall let you go. You hold onto that and think of your mother.”_

_“Yes. I will. Thank you.”_

 

He had been surprised by the gift. It wasn’t expected. He didn’t expect to receive gifts. Several of his customers gave him things, but it always surprised him when they did. Most would usually just pay him for his services, and he would give the money directly to his master. He wasn’t given any of it, and he really didn’t want it either. Money wasn’t important to him, for he knew he could have all the money in the world but he would still be a slave. Slaves had no real use for money unless they were certain they could completely break away from their master and owner. He was not so fortunate, for how did one escape a master who could track you anywhere you went? 

He had been very lucky though. Had they not found Carson Beckett he would already be back under Mara’s control, and if that ever happened he’d never get another chance to escape again. 

* *

After speaking with Daniel about the odd customer who only desired to see him dance, Jack sought out Narayana. When he located him he spoke without hesitation quickly muttering, “Narayana, what can you tell me about Nick?” 

Narayana turned to gaze at Jack surprised by the request, swallowing hard before asking, “Where have you heard such a name?” 

“Daniel told me about him.” 

Nodding Narayana continued, “And what has he told you?” 

A puzzled expression graced Jack’s face next as suspicion began to stir. Narayana seemed to _know_ something. He seemed to be hiding something, but what? Silencing his thoughts he answered, “What he did when he visited. He never harmed Daniel, did he?” 

Relief was next to filter in as he responded with, “No. No he did not.” 

“How can you be so sure?” 

“Because Nick was…special, his only concern was for Daniel. He did not desire anything more than to help him gain his freedom.” 

“But how can you…how do you know?” 

“Trust me, Jack. His reasons were honorable.” 

“But who was he and why did he pay so much…?” 

“He was someone who desired to free Daniel from slavery.” 

“But why? I mean what motive…?” 

“Because he cared, Jack, he cares for Daniel more than Daniel will ever know.” 

“But why does he care? Did he…?” 

Shaking his head he asked a question of his own, “Have you ever desired to help someone, Jack?” 

“Well yes, you know…” 

“And what was _your_ motive for wanting to do so?” 

“Well because I could and…” 

_“And…?”_

Jack nodded. 

Narayana continued, “Why is it so difficult for you to accept that others may feel as you do and desire only to help?” 

“It… I… I see what you mean.” 

“Do you?” 

“Yes.” 

Silence fell between them for a span of a few moments before Narayana stated, “Nick wanted to help Daniel find freedom. He wanted that very much.” 

“But doesn’t that seem strange I mean…?” 

“Strange that there are indeed compassionate humans in the universe…? No.” 

“Well when you put it that way, um…,” shaking his head he found himself asking the same question again despite what they had just discussed, “But why?” 

“You have an answer.” 

Jack felt suddenly suspicious again but couldn’t understand why, which prompted him to ask, “Did you know him?” 

Narayana gazed intently at him before offering, “I sought answers. Those he would not provide I researched. His intentions were purely honorable, Jack. His only desire was to help Daniel obtain his freedom from slavery.” 

“So he was a sort of _friend_?” 

“Yes. He was opposed to slavery, but disguised it well. He did whatever he could to help Daniel, whenever he could.” 

He opened his mouth prepared to ask another question when Narayana glared at him, a warning glance to leave the discussion be. Nodding he thanked him before leaving the room still wondering about the client whose only desire had been to watch Daniel dance, and why Narayana seemed so unwilling to talk about him.


	10. Chords of Fear

**CHORDS OF FEAR  
When the Past Re-emerges**

_The piano was one thing I used to pair up in my mind with fear. It started out as a beautiful instrument I would be taught to play and became a form of punishment. Once I learned to play I excelled and he was pleased, but I was young and wanted to, needed to create and compose. He didn’t like that. Slaves, he would say, do not create without their master’s consent. Slaves, he would say, never play for themselves. Slaves, he would say, always play when the master permits and ONLY to please the master. When I failed to learn that particular rule the piano became an item of fear, despair and terror to me._

_He kept me there for months in that room. He told me I would remain chained to the instrument until I learned his valuable rule. Eventually striking even a single chord on that piano could strike fear into my heart, but then after some time the piano became a sort of coping mechanism for me and when that happened he again chained me with it only this time I was secured several feet from the piano to the floor for daring to touch HIS instrument without HIS permission. After that the piano room became the epitome of fear to me but always, always the piano was there to calm me, to soothe me and though I was chained so far from that piano I dared to create against my master’s will by moving my fingers across the floor where I was secured. He thought it cute. He thought it amusing to watch me play an invisible piano before him. Had he realized that in my mind I could visualize the music, see it, see the notes in my head, hear the chords in my mind so vividly that I could virtually recreate them and compose WITHOUT even touching that piano he would have killed me, for to him what looked like a pathetic gesture was a form of empowerment to me, little did he know that his docile slave was being outright defiant towards him. Narayana knew but he never revealed my secret. Mara’s pretty pet had quite a rebellious streak in him that was always kept well hidden and had he known I would now be dead._

 

Shaking his head he quietly cursed the man who had owned Daniel feeling his anger for the man only continuing to build. He had put Daniel through so much, so very much. He had hurt Daniel repeatedly, hurt him, manipulated him…hell, tortured him so very much and Daniel had endured it all. 

He sat silently staring, not focusing, on the journal that lay open before him thinking of the words recorded on the pages in front of him and hoping he had read the entry wrong, while knowing he hadn’t. 

After several moments of contemplating he slowly closed the book and sought out Narayana. When he found him the man gazed at him glancing briefly at the book in his arms before nodding and quietly saying, “You have questions.” 

“Yes.” 

“Then come. Sit. Ask me those questions you fear you cannot ask him.” 

“But is that…fair, right to ask when…?” 

“Daniel has asked that I answer what I can, what I fear he may not be able to so please sit. Sit.” 

Nodding Jack lowered to the chair Narayana indicated carefully laying the book on the table between them. He found himself gazing again at the cover before gently drawing his hand across its surface. Narayana watched the gesture silently before encouraging, “Please ask your questions.” 

Sighing he responded, “I…I don’t know if I can do this. I mean…” 

“Daniel has told you when you have questions you are not certain he will be able to answer to come to me first. Now please what is your question?” 

“Uh, well um…he…um…” 

“Jack…” 

“It’s about…the piano.” 

“Ah, what about it?” 

“He…was he, did Mara… He mentioned he had been secured to it as a young boy and…” 

“Ah yes. There are many entries on the piano. Many, many memories surround it, not all of them pleasant to read.” 

Lowering his head he swallowed hard drawing courage to himself before asking, “Was he really chained to it?” 

Silence fell before Narayana replied with a quiet, “Yes.” 

“Wh…why?” 

“Because he would not play for his master…”

“What?” 

“Mara had learned of Daniel’s reliance on the piano, on playing the piano to soothe him self, to calm himself. He had Daniel trained thoroughly on the instrument but never expected it to become something Daniel would need. Upon that discovery he chose to chain him several feet from the piano to the floor…Daniel would sometimes begin to move his fingers as if across a keyboard in times of great pain and despair. His master found the behavior fascinating and humorous to watch. It was a strange behavior that proved extremely calming for him. He would unconsciously begin to move his fingers across the floor as if playing a song on the instrument. Eventually he learned his lesson…” 

Swallowing hard he spoke barely audibly, “And what lesson was that?” 

“That he was not permitted to play for himself, he was however required to play for his master whenever he asked, for however long he desired. If his master desired to hear the piano then he would play it. If his master did not want to hear it then he was barred from touching it. It was strange.” 

“What was?” 

“When he first began Daniel’s training he would chain him to the piano and make him play for endless hours. He would stand over Daniel and coach him. If Daniel stopped too soon or hesitated or chose to play something for himself his time chained to the piano would be increased.” 

“How was he…chained?” 

“His left ankle was secured to a piano leg, while his wrists and his right leg were left free.” 

“So he could play without being hindered…” 

“Yes. He was also tethered to the piano by a leash. It was his master’s way of punishing him for his disobedience. He would not be set free except to relieve himself. He was kept chained there for some time.” 

“He wasn’t left go to sleep?” 

“No. He had to find sleep where he was secured. Eventually he started to gently touch the keys creating music for himself in the late hours of the night. He would touch the keys so lightly that the sound would not travel. I knew of what he was doing because I was ordered to guard him. I would stand by the door and watch him as he would remain so very still his head resting against the piano as if he were asleep and just when I was certain that he was his hand would move slowly to rest on the keys and he would begin to play quietly. He would do so until he could no longer keep his eyes open…that is how the piano became such a comfort to him.” 

“How long was he kept secured to…?” 

“Many, many months…until his master felt he had learned what was expected of him.” 

“What was _expected_ of him?” 

“Yes and for many months afterwards he feared that room, but could not resist the lure of the piano. One day he entered without permission and began to quietly play. His master caught him and as punishment ordered him chained to the floor several feet from the instrument for daring to enter the room without permission. It was after that he was forbidden to touch the piano unless commanded.” 

Shaking his head saddened by what he had just heard he asked, “So Daniel has never had any sort of freedom from Mara? He’s always been made to serve? Did he, has he traveled?” 

“Only when Mara traveled, he was always by Mara’s side. He was not permitted to leave it for any reason unless by direct order of Mara himself.” 

“Has he been permitted to do _anything_ for himself?” 

“Very little I am afraid…” 

“So Mara has always been there?” 

“Yes except when he was sent on missions, but even then if Mara chose to contact him or to call him back he was required to come immediately. His failure to do so, to return to his master in a timely manner was met with immediate retribution from his master.” 

“How did Mara know where he was?” 

Falling silent Narayana sighed heavily before offering, “He had many ways to keep track of Daniel wherever he might have gone.” 

“I find that hard to believe.” 

“You must believe it, O’Neill, for it is part of the reason he could not flee.” 

As if a light bulb went on in his head Jack asked, “The tracking device…?” 

Narayana bowed his head as he softly answered, “Yes.” 

“Son of a bitch!” 

“Mara was afraid to lose Daniel. He was his most prized. In order to insure he would never lose him he had a tracking device planted within him. He was able to monitor Daniel wherever he was. Even if he ran Mara would always find him all he had to do was…” 

“Use the tracking device…” 

“Yes.” 

Jack hung his head disappointed by what he was told. Glancing up at Narayana he thanked him before saying, “I think it’s time I speak with Daniel.” 

“Do what you must, but be aware that with the discussion of the piano will come many memories that are already difficult for him to deal with.” 

“I understand, Narayana. Thank you…again.” 

Narayana bowed his head and watched as Jack left the room, silently urging luck to be with him and hoping that Daniel would open up and finally talk about some of the things he had experienced while under Mara’s care.

 

 **Under Aindri’s Protection**

Searching for Daniel he found him sitting on the back porch his gaze focused on the distant horizon. Lowering beside him he smiled softly saying, “You like it out here, don’t you Daniel?” 

“Yes I do. I…,” turning he fell silent as his eyes took in the book Jack was gripping tightly in his hands before once again returning his gaze towards the distant horizon. 

Silence fell between them for several moments before Daniel stated, “You have more questions.” 

“Yes but we don’t have to…” 

“What about Jack?” 

Lowering his gaze he stumbled over his words as he said, “Can we, uh…? Would you…? Can I talk to you about something?” 

He swallowed hard before nodding, which prompted Jack to begin, “I was wondering, um…,” shaking his head he continued, “Look if you can’t answer this just tell me, please?” 

Daniel nodded and Jack continued, “Daniel, Narayana said you were taught to play the piano by Mara…” 

“Yes.” 

As the memory began he closed his eyes feeling Jack’s hand suddenly on his shoulder, and shook his head allowing the memory to come… 

_He guided Daniel into the spacious room that was virtually empty except for a black Concert Grand piano, a bench and several lamps. The room was white with a wooden floor and several high arched windows lined the far wall. As he took in the room he became very nervous wondering why his master had chosen to bring him here. He waited before the order came, “Approach the piano, my pretty pet.”_

_“My Master, yes My Master.”_

_“Do you play?”_

_“My Master, not well My Master.”_

_Mara nodded before continuing, “It is good that you have some knowledge of this grand instrument…”_

_“My Master, may I ask why, My Master?”_

_Mara smiled softly as he urged, “Trace your fingers across it, pet. I want you to become familiar with it, intimate with it, for this is the instrument I wish for you to learn.”_

_“Learn but…”_

_“Address me properly!”_

_Immediately lowering his head in fear he quickly corrected himself, “My Master, yes My Master.”_

_Satisfied with the immediate correction of the error Mara continued, “You will be tutored. You will practice and you will learn. You will please me by being very attentive during your lessons and you will play for me whenever I desire it of you. Is that understood, pet?”_

_“My Master, yes My Master.”_

_“Good.”_

The memory ended as abruptly as it had started and Daniel glanced up seeing his concerned gaze he quickly assured, “I’m all right, Jack. I’m all right…just a memory…” 

“What…what was the memory? If, if you don’t mind me asking.” 

“It was of the first day…” 

“The first day…?” 

“Yes the first day he guided me into the piano room and told me I’d be trained on it.” 

“Oh.” 

“It was an extravagant room, Jack. Wood floors, white walls, big huge windows on one side, the Concert Grand sitting off to the left… I spent a lot of time in that room, spent a lot of time learning, a lot of time being coached, a lot of time playing for him, always for him never for myself. It angered me, but still I played for him for endless hours. He said I was a master at the instrument, whatever the hell that meant.” 

Softening his voice Jack asked the question that was disturbing him since reading about it, “Then why did he chain you to it, Daniel?” 

Swallowing hard he managed only a soft quiet, “Because I wouldn’t play _for him_ …” before another memory swallowed him up, 

_“If you will not play for me then you will remain here,” with that comment he felt the cold iron encircle his left ankle followed by a loud click that pronounced it was locked in place. Tugging against the restraint he felt fearful and panicky managing, “Master…”_

_“Silence!”_

_He tensed further as his master drew an iron collar around his vulnerable throat softly requesting, “Master please don’t do this to me.”_

_“I said silence, pet!”_

_Swallowing hard he squeezed his eyes tightly shut as he heard another loud click echo throughout the room as the collar was secured. He tensed further as the chain attached to the collar was then tugged on and drawn to the opposite leg of the piano. Again he attempted to plead for mercy, “My Master, please…”_

_A glare from his master had him closing his mouth and lowering his head further as he realized that he was being insolent. He swallowed hard unsure of how his master would respond and drawing in a deep calming breath as his owner snapped, “You behave as if you are untrained, pet. I am most displeased, and when I am displeased what happens? Speak.”_

_Nodding he quietly replied, “My Master, I’m punished, My Master.”_

_“Yes. Now be silent as I finish securing you.”_

_He fell silent stiffening as his master drew the chain taut before securing it smiling as he suggested, “You may move the bench closer to the piano, pet. You will find you are much more comfortable that way I assure you.”_

_Keeping his head bowed low he did as his master suggested closing his eyes as he was informed, “You will remain here until you learn to play for me. You will remain until you learn to do as I ask instead of challenging my command. You are now a slave to your instrument. You will sleep here, and you will live here until you do as I have asked. Is that understood, pet? Speak.”_

_“My Master, yes My Master.”_

_“Good. Now I shall leave you to find rest, for night is quickly falling.”_

 

“I was certain he’d return for me right away, sure he was testing me, that he was just warning me of what could happen but…” 

Daniel turned away drawing his arms across his chest. He then drew in a shaky breath but said nothing else. 

Jack quieted his voice further as he gently encouraged, “But…?” 

Daniel glanced up briefly before continuing, “But after a week of being visited only by guards who released me long enough to relieve myself before returning me to the piano and again securing me to it I became extremely afraid, terrified actually.” 

“Terrified?” 

“Yes.” 

“Of what…?” 

“Of being forgotten again…” 

It was Jack’s turn to draw in a shaky breath. Ignoring the reaction Daniel continued, “In rebellion I refused to play for him.” 

“So he kept you chained?” 

Daniel nodded before adding, “I spent countless hours trying to figure out how I could rest without having to rely on the instrument I was fast growing to hate. I hated the piano for a time, and when I discovered that the only way I could sleep was to sit at the piano and rest on it I hated it even more. My chains were… He tethered me to it using a very short chain. I believe it was deliberate on his part to chain me up like a dog on a leash so short that it prevented me from finding any sort of comfort at all.” 

“As punishment no doubt…” 

“Yes. I tried to lie down on the bench, to sleep on the floor and even considered laying on the piano itself but found the only comfortable position that provided the least amount of strain was to sit on that bench and lean against the piano itself. The days, I lost track of them. Each day I was there I became more and more afraid that I’d be left...forgotten. As further punishment I received little in the way of my basic needs. I became weaker, more tired… I ended up spending most of my time sleeping. By the time Narayana was permitted to tend to me I could barely lift my own head. He coddled me that day, bathed me, fed me and apologized profusely for having to again secure me to the piano. My Master didn’t give him a choice. If he refused to secure me again…” 

Silence fell between them stretching until Daniel broke it with, “He kept me there for…a very long time. I spent endless hours in that room unable to obtain freedom of any kind. Eventually I played for him as he had requested. I played for hours on end told to continue playing even when my fingers began to ache and throb. It became a game to him, Jack. It was always a game to him. When I stopped playing or attempted to play something for myself he’d beat my hands, sometimes with a belt, usually with a ruler. He’d beat them until they cracked and bled and sometimes, even after that, I’d be made to continue playing for him. I learned quickly after that and eventually he freed me, eventually.” 

“Were you ever… Did he ever do that again?” 

“Chain me to the piano? No. Chain me to the floor several feet from the piano? Yes.” 

“Why…why’d he do that?” 

Daniel swallowed hard glancing briefly at Jack’s face before lowering his gaze towards the floor and continuing, “I was terrified of that room for a very long time, Jack. I’d have nightmares about it, nightmares in which I’d scream until I was hoarse, nightmares of dying there, of being trapped in darkness. The nightmares were…most of them were absolutely terrifying. I…I’d… The dreams would get so bad that I…I’d literally avoid the room _unless_ it was commanded of me to enter. When he caught me alone in the room, saw my hands on the keys… Well I believe that’s when he realized the room no longer made me afraid and that the piano held a new significance to me.” 

“So he decided to forcefully stir up your old fears and take away the one thing that could soothe them as punishment.” 

“Yeah, something like that.” 

“Son of a bitch…” 

“I wanted to play Jack, so badly that I…without conscious thought I reached out, struck a few chords, and he caught me.” 

Daniel lowered his head squeezing his eyes shut as his mind took him back to that day replaying it as if on a movie screen: 

_“What are you doing?”_

_He jumped startled by the direct question flushing as he realized he was caught. He stumbled over an answer before managing, “Cre…creating, My Master.”_

_“Creating? You do not create unless I permit you to create.”_

_Lowering his head he softly responded, “My Master, yes My Master,” while inside his soul was continuing to die._

_“Slaves do not create. **Pets** do not create. Pets are trained by their masters to perform a few petty tricks, but they **never** create unless permitted to. Sarameya you again forget your place. You are a pretty pet who obeys without question.” _

_“My Master, yes My Master.”_

_“HEEL!”_

_He immediately lowered to hands and knees feeling shame flood him as he did so and flushing when ordered to crawl to a spot in the center of the room feeling fear consume him as he heard the distinct rattle of chains that indicated only one thing: he would soon be bound and leashed._

Daniel spoke again breaking the silence, “Narayana found me later huddled into a ball in the center of the room shaking. When he drew me into his arms I… I was devastated, Jack, devastated. Narayana he took care of me. I…I was kept there for…some time, made to face my nightmares, left to wonder if I’d ever get out of there again. I…that room, it holds so many memories for me, so many nightmares...” 

Shaking his head he tightened his arms around himself as the memory faded then continued, “I had conquered my fear Jack, but that second sentencing succeeded in re-creating it. As a result I feared that room with every fiber of my being, right down to my very core, but not the piano. No. I could still play the piano, play it _without_ touching it. I could visualize the music, you see. I could see the notes and the keys in my mind and… He never realized it, how I could play without a piano. Narayana knew, had realized what I was doing, but he never revealed my secret, and to this day I don’t believe Mara has a clue.” 

He smiled before confessing, “It was one of my many secrets.” 

“Wait I thought you said you had none, that Mara knew everything.” 

A sly smirk spread across Daniel’s lips as he confessed, “Well not _everything_.” 

“Why Daniel you never cease to amaze me.” 

His smile widened slightly in reply, and Jack drew him close immediately wrapping his own arms tightly around him. Together they sat on the bench in companionable silence drawing comfort from one another as they watched the sun sink lower on the horizon.


	11. Once Lost

**ONCE LOST  
Rebirth**

Life fell into a pattern after that night. Jack continued to read the journal entries, and they would discuss them. More often than not Jack would turn to Daniel now to ask the majority of his questions, and Daniel was usually able to answer them. He no longer exhibited extreme shame or guilt when certain topics would arise, and when he did Jack was always there to counter them, to encourage him, to talk him through and to praise him. Once they discussed the issues between each other they’d all sit down and talk of them together. 

As Daniel became more confident in himself he started to become his own person. When he faltered they were always there to counter. Finally Daniel was on the official road to recovery. Admittedly the road ahead was still long and winding, but he knew that they would all make it through. 

As he watched Jack and Daniel, watched their interactions with each other, watched them grow closer and saw Daniel change before his very eyes he knew that it was time. It was time for him to reveal his biggest secret. He only hoped that the child of his heart would be accepting of it. 

* *

A knock at the door drew Daniel’s attention, tensing he focused on it and debated. He didn’t like to answer doors. He felt odd doing it, and it greatly bothered him not knowing just who could be on the other side. He avoided it as much as possible but looking around now he didn’t see Jack anywhere so, drawing in a calming breath, he approached it. Slowly opening the door he gasped when his gaze fell upon a very familiar face. Without thought he quickly bowed his head softly greeting, “My…My Lord…” 

“Ah did I not tell you to dispense with the formal address?” 

Lifting his head he was met with a warm smile that had him returning it before managing, “Yes My… Nick. How…how did you find me?” 

“May I come in Daniel? We have a lot to talk about.” 

Glancing nervously behind him Nick saw him relax as a familiar voice asked, “Daniel, are you all right?” 

He then heard feet softly pat across the floor and knew on the other side of that door he would see the one Daniel loved. Daniel responded with a, “Yes, Jack. I’m fine. We have company,” as he turned towards the source of the new voice. As Jack settled beside Daniel he further inquired, “Well who…?” 

Daniel opened the door wider revealing the older man and informing, “Jack this is Nick. Do you remember me telling you…?” 

Jack tensed, immediately scanning the area for anyone else, his hand settling around Daniel as he responded, “Yes. What do you…?” 

Jack turned when another entered. Nick caught a brief glimpse of Narayana before he approached quietly informing, “He is alone. I assure you both. You may allow him to enter.” 

Relieved Nick could only smile as Jack also seemed to relax before saying, “Oh…okay then come…come in Nick,” before turning to Daniel and softly inquiring, “Are you all right?” 

“Yes. Yes Jack.” 

Nodding he stepped aside as Nick entered their home. Once Daniel closed the door he turned to their guest asking, “How did…how did you find me?” 

Nick focused on Narayana who stepped forward and revealed, “I told him where you were and to please come.” 

“But… Why Narayana? He…” 

“Has much to talk about with you. I shall leave you to it. Jack?” 

“What? Oh, oh you want me to come…” 

He turned back to Daniel placing a protective hand on his shoulder before softly questioning, “Will you be okay, Daniel?” 

“Yes. Yes…” 

“I’ll be close by so scream if you need me.” 

Daniel smiled as he reassured, “Jack I’ll be fine.” 

“Well I’ll still be nearby just in case.” 

Daniel leaned in and pressed a tender kiss to Jack’s lips before pulling back to say, “I know you will. Now go.” 

Jack nodded before leaving the room prompting Nick to say, “Ah he does love you very much. I am happy for you. I approve of him Daniel.” 

Taken slightly aback by that comment Daniel questioned, “What…what brings you here? Why track me here where even Mara can’t find me, and why would Narayana reveal my whereabouts? He wouldn’t do so lightly.” 

“Yes, you are correct. Narayana is very protective of you and for that I am extremely grateful.” 

He fell silent again for several moments before continuing, “Narayana has known of me, about me, since the first day I arrived at your doorstep. He sought me out after that first meeting. It would seem you told him of what had occurred between us, and he became curious.” 

“That still doesn’t answer why you’re here or why Narayana would tell you where I am.” 

Nick nodded in agreement before continuing, “I have searched for you for a very long time Daniel.” 

“I don’t understand.” 

“I worked very hard to be accepted into Mara’s ‘elite’. I…my goal was to get as close to you as I was able. When I gained his approval it was a relief to me. After that I began to visit you daily and each time learned a little bit more about you.” 

Daniel stiffened feeling suddenly very anxious as he questioned, “But what… Why would you? Why?” 

Softening his voice further Nick responded with, “As I have said I searched for you for many years. After you were taken and sold I lost you. It took me some time to locate you again. Once I did I merely watched you, observed you from a distance. You move like her, do you know that?” 

Caught off guard by the last question Daniel managed a strained, _“What?”_

Nick smiled fondly adding, “I can see her in you so much now.” 

“ _Her?_ Who…?” 

Unsure of how to respond Nick abruptly changed the subject, “Not so long ago I gave you a gift do you remember what it was?” 

Watching Daniel he noticed the man reach up and subconsciously wrap his fingers around a slight gap in the t-shirt he wore. It was then he noticed the gold chain around Daniel’s neck that dipped beneath the shirt. Nodding he smiled as he said, “I see you do remember. Is that it?” 

“What?” 

“You have your hand wrapped around something. Is that it?” 

Unable to speak or answer the question Daniel was unprepared for Nick’s gentle tug as he pulled on the delicate chain. Daniel lowered his head and carefully pulled the item out, holding it so tightly in his hand keeping his gaze down, focused intently on his closed fist before softly revealing, “It’s like my mother’s. I… When I look at it I think of her. I remember her. You don’t… Do you want it back?”

“Oh no, no Daniel, I just wanted to see if you remembered it.” 

The smallest smile lit Daniel’s lips as he carefully unwrapped his fist revealing the necklace Nick was talking about. He then answered, “When I wear it I feel closer to her. I _remember_ her.” 

“And you have held onto it.” 

“Yes I have… Some people would think it silly, a man wearing a gold necklace. What they don’t know is _why_ I wear it. I keep it hidden mainly, out of sight but close to my heart. She, my mother, loved that necklace. It was one of her most cherished and prized possessions. She never took it off.” 

“Yes you have mentioned this before.” 

“Yes I suppose I have. But getting back to you and the reason you’re here. Why have you come? Why have you apparently spent a better part of your life seeking me out?” 

“When I found you at Mara’s palace I worked hard to get into his “elite” so that I could spend time with the one servant that was desired more than all others…” 

Daniel blushed, somewhat embarrassed to be again referred to as “desired”. Nick ignored the reaction choosing instead to continue with what he wanted to say, what he _needed_ to say, “I was uncertain of you. I had only suspicions and tiny clues to go on, but I felt…connected to you. I felt like you were the one I had been seeking for so very long. I wanted to confirm or disprove my suspicions so that I could either continue my search or end it. I watched you for many years, Daniel.” 

“You came to me every week for so many years and asked so little of me. You confused me. I never understood any of it, but I appreciated what you did for me, what you tried to do for me. I just never understood the why of any of it.” 

“Yes I did, and I had many reasons for doing as I had. I searched for you for many years far and wide, when I found you I started to simply watch you from a distance. As I watched you I could see _her_ in you, traits of hers you exhibited. You…you have that special air about you that she always did when she was alive. I was certain I had found the one I had been searching so long for. I worked hard to get into Mara’s good graces and as I began to visit you I would spend each time watching you catching the slightest little actions and gestures, the slightest little glimpses of things that reminded me so much of her. My suspicions began to grow into certainties. After speaking with Narayana several times my questions increased and I was more certain than ever, but I wanted a confirmation. When Narayana spoke of you being in love I retrieved that necklace. You see it belonged to someone very special to me. Someone who had died way before her time, someone who when she had died left behind her a lone child, one lonely little boy who became lost. I searched for that boy far and wide. I tracked him to the man who had stolen him away. I wanted to free him but the man who stole him guarded him fiercely and kept him on a leash much like an errant puppy. The boy…? He was a fighter, much like his mother.” 

Daniel gasped and paled, unconsciously clenching the necklace in his hand as he listened to Nick continue his story and feeling suddenly very anxious, “You see that boy? He fought his captor always and though he did his captor still held onto him. I was so close to getting him back but was too late for within a day he disappeared again. When I investigated trying to relocate him it was then that I had realized he had been sold to another. Who that other was? I had no idea. I had lost the boy just as quickly as I had located him, and I had waited too long to get him back. I have always blamed myself for the path his life took after that day, for if I had only acted a little bit sooner he would have been spared so much pain and suffering…” lifting his hand to Daniel’s face he gently cupped his left cheek as he softly stated, “ _You_ would have been spared so much pain and suffering.” 

Daniel opened his mouth then closed it again unsure of what to say, afraid and terrified of what to do, his mind already putting pieces together to reveal to him that which Nick was trying to tell him. Unable to speak or reply in any way he simply closed his mouth permitting Nick to continue, “I had lost all trace of you after that Daniel. I was devastated. I had failed your mother. I had been unable to locate her lost child. I had been unable to save you from the one you had called master for so many years.” 

Shaking his head, ignoring the lone tear that now ran down over his cheek Nick continued his tale, “It took me years, Daniel, years to find you again and then it took even more years to confirm that you were that missing boy I had lost so very long ago. When I lost you I was devastated. I had no idea where to even begin searching. I spoke with the one who had sold you, even threatened him but he would tell me nothing. The bastard died not long after you vanished. He was killed, murdered. I never knew why and I took it as a sign, a sign that if I were to proceed in my search I would have to recreate myself, my identity because should the one who had you discover my real identity, should they have discovered I was actively searching for you I might have lost you forever.” 

Swallowing hard managing to finally speak Daniel choked out, “How…how did you find me?” 

“It wasn’t easy I assure you. I followed a lot of leads that lead to dead ends even got to the point where the search felt hopeless, but I swore to never give up my search. I spent several years hitting one dead end after another before one day I stumbled across a clue. I had heard about Mara and a servant of his that was highly prized by many…” 

Confused by that comment Daniel shook his head questioning, “And _that_ led you to me? How?” 

“I was curious so I inquired about this particular servant. You see I was certain you were sold into indentured servitude, that you were a slave to someone who had to have a lot of money, a lot of power, a lot of influence, a lot of ‘help’ at his disposal. He had to be powerful to conceal your location for so long. It wasn’t until I asked for the description of this particular servant that I decided to follow the lead. I had hit nothing but dead ends, this was most likely another but I had to try. The men they raved about this particular servant having the bluest of eyes...that could have been one of thousands, but I was determined to at least check into it. I asked about this particular servant and was told that the one who owned him had purchased him on a whim. He had purchased a slave many swore was untamable, but he bought him just the same. They also said that the servant had been with this particular man since he was a boy. You had been taken when you were only eight. You had been sold within weeks of having been taken. I had no other leads but this one I followed certain I was setting myself up for disappointment yet again. When I arrived on Mara’s world I found him, and I found the prized slave. I watched that slave for several years and as I watched him I saw little nuances of her in him. I tried to convince myself I was only seeing what I wanted, that I was on a fool’s quest, that while I was pursuing this slave the boy who had been lost was still out there somewhere, but I stayed. I was drawn to you even back then. Every time I had decided to leave Mara’s world, every time I decided to give up on pursuing that highly valued slave something stopped me.” 

“Were you ever certain that I was the one you were searching for?” 

“Not until I gave you that necklace and you told me of your mother. The necklace…? It was your mother’s. After your parents were killed I was contacted as next of kin. I was given what remained of their belongings including the necklace she wore…” 

Shaking his head Daniel said, “No, no she had it on when she was killed. How could it have possibly ended up in your possession after that? She was most likely buried with it.” 

“She was not. I made the arrangements to have them buried side by side and though I felt awkward removing that necklace from around her neck I sensed that it would be the one thing that could lead me straight to you, and it did.” 

“So this…this is my mother’s?” 

“Yes, Daniel.” 

Nick saw several tears tumble down over Daniel’s cheeks as he gazed at the necklace he still held in his hand. Swallowing past the lump now formed in his throat Daniel choked out, “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“I was still unsure, Daniel. I wanted to be a hundred percent certain. You see that necklace? I had given it to Claire on her wedding day…” 

“And when you realized I was in love you said…you told me it was time that I received a special gift just between you and I…” 

“The necklace I bought specifically for Claire for her wedding. It was to protect her and her family…that’s what the amulet is. Its purpose is to protect the wearer and their family. I felt it the perfect gift to give her on the eve of her wedding day, and the perfect gift to give my grandson when he was finally blessed with the gift of loving another and being loved in return despite the fact that he was still under the control of a man who owned him. You found love despite the odds, Daniel.” 

“When were you certain I was the one you sought? When were all your doubts eliminated?” 

“On the day you told me the name of your mother that combined with the story of how your parents died and the story about the necklace was enough to cement the final brick of your identity. You are Daniel Jackson, the son of my daughter Claire that makes you my grandson.” 

Daniel gasped releasing a raspy, “Jackson was my last name. The only other people who know that are Narayana…and Jack. No one else knows my name. Hell, I almost forgot it myself after serving for years being addressed as Sarameya. I…” 

Shaking his head he found he wanted to believe the man but was also fearful that he would be lying. He hated the doubt that filled him and further inquired, “Are you sure I’m the one you sought, or are you simply hoping?” 

Nick lowered his gaze as he reached into his shirt pocket. He hesitated only a moment more before drawing what looked to be a crumpled piece of paper out of it. Daniel gazed at him in question waiting for him to continue. Nick lifted his gaze to Daniel’s holding it as he softly said, “I have but one other thing I have always carried close to my heart. I have never parted with it.” 

“What…what is it?” 

Daniel watched as Nick extended the paper, his hand noticeably shaking. He cocked his head swallowing hard before asking, “What’s wrong?”

Nick offered the paper again, but Daniel still didn’t reach for it waiting for Nick to answer his question. 

Nick was scared. He was certain, positive he had found his grandson and this was the final piece of proof. If Daniel didn’t react to it he knew his journey, his search would continue. He didn’t want to be wrong so he softly answered, “This is my final proof, the final evidence that will confirm or… Take it, please.” 

Daniel reached for the item then gently grasped it and drew it to him. As he turned the paper over tears began to fall unbidden down over his cheeks as he softly ran his fingers over it. 

Nick released the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding the instant he saw Daniel’s reaction. He managed in a thick voice, “You recognize it. Don’t you Daniel?” 

Daniel could only manage a nod and instantly Nick was drawing him into his arms pulling him tightly into his embrace. Daniel didn’t fight, didn’t resist, but instead went willingly against him releasing a shaky breath as Nick said, “I’ve found you. I’ve finally found you.” 

No longer able to fight back his own tears he allowed them to come, and they stood holding each other tightly. 

That’s how Jack found them, unable to remain away from Daniel any longer, extremely worried about him. When he saw the two together his heart felt as if it had stopped beating, and he could only manage a cough that drew Daniel’s gaze. Seeing Daniel upset, he quickly approached asking, “Daniel, are you…?” 

Nodding he managed, “Yes I’m fine, Jack. I’m fine.” 

Breaking away from Nick he turned to gaze at Jack brushing a hand haphazardly across his face before managing, “I haven’t cried in a long time. It’s strange.” 

“Daniel, what… Care to explain?” 

“Jack, he… Nick, he’s…” 

Narayana entered then as he interrupted answering for Daniel, “His grandfather, Jack. Nick is Daniel’s grandfather.” 

“WHAT?” 

Daniel turned to gaze at Narayana in shock before saying, “You…you knew?” 

“For some time, yes…” 

“Why didn’t you say so?” 

“I was unsure. Then I saw that,” indicating the paper with a gaze Jack noticed it for the first time and asked, “Daniel, what’s that?” 

“It’s Nick’s. He’s…he’s been carrying it for years.” 

“Can I see it?” 

Daniel offered it to Jack his hand shaking ever so slightly. As Jack took the paper and turned it over his eyes bulged in shock. It was an old black and white photograph the edges warn, and the picture creased from years of handling and years of being carried. The photo was one Jack was all too familiar with, for he had seen it only once before in the pages of Daniel’s very first journal secured lovingly in the center of the page labeled in Narayana’s own handwriting as _Daniel with his parents_. 

Jack recalled the conversation he and Daniel had had after he had seen that photo and apparently Daniel did too, for as he spoke the memory returned full force: 

“It’s the only thing I managed to hold onto after they were killed. I kept it hidden, guarded it so closely. No one knew of its existence.” 

Jack gazed at Daniel seeing the shaky smile there. He asked, “Are you sure this is…?” 

“It’s exactly the same, Jack, though mine isn’t as worn.” 

“Are you sure this isn’t _yours_?” 

Daniel nodded aware that Nick was now looking at him in question. Narayana approached and handed Daniel a book. Nick opened his mouth then closed it again as Daniel turned completely towards him. He waited watching as Daniel drew the book close waiting for him to speak. After several long moments Daniel finally found his voice again, “I’ve kept journals all my life…or rather from the moment Narayana first gave me a journal. They were among those things he always kept safe for me.” 

“I know he kept things for you, but journals?” 

“Yes, Nick. When I was very young he gave me my first journal as a gift and vowed it would always remain safe in his room, hidden away so that Mara would never find it. Each time I finished a journal he would give me a new one and he would keep them all safe for me. This…this is the very first journal he ever gave me. Go ahead and open it. Look at the first three pages.” 

“Daniel, I could not.” 

“Please.” 

Daniel handed him the journal and he carefully opened it aware that the journal was quite old. He gazed at the first page and read what was written there in the scrawl of a child: 

_My name is Daniel, Daniel Jackson._

Gazing at the second page and reading the entry there Nick carefully traced the name of his daughter and her husband. Surrounding their names were hearts and drawings only a young boy could have made. Glancing up he smiled as he said, “You are my grandson.” 

Jack swallowed hard half fearful as he encouraged, “Turn the page, Nick.” 

Nick glanced up realizing suddenly that Jack knew what was next in the journal. Smiling he said, “You allowed him to read them.” 

A bit surprised by the comment Daniel answered, “Yes. Yes I did. Actually he’s still reading them…” 

“You love him very much.” 

“Yes I do.” 

Nodding Nick turned the page and as his eyes fell to the picture fastened there all words left his mouth. He was unaware that Jack and Daniel were also now gazing at that page. There in the center of the page was the same photo that Jack now held in his hand. Daniel’s was less ragged and didn’t contain as many creases loving hands had placed into the picture from years of handling only because his had been in the journal for so long, but they were the exact same pictures, nonetheless. 

Daniel smiled as Nick gazed at him in shock and answered his unvoiced question, “I kept it hidden. Neither of them ever found it. The one person that did…? I begged and pleaded with him not to destroy it. He knew what it was. I was terrified he’d destroy my last link to my parents. I was so young when I was taken, and I held onto that photo with a death grip. It’s the only picture I ever had of my parents. It was taken...” 

“Days before they were killed,” continued Nick. 

“Yes… I cherish that photo. It’s…” 

Narayana continued, “His most prized possession next to those journals…” 

Jack added, “And that necklace he wears.” 

All Daniel could manage was a soft ‘yes’ in agreement. 

Nick looked at Daniel then and asked, “Narayana was the one you pleaded with not to destroy it, wasn’t he?” 

Daniel only nodded. Narayana spoke again, “It was the first time I had ever seen him cry. It was instrumental in bringing Daniel and I close. He was so afraid, so scared. I could not do anything to further harm him. From the moment I first saw him I vowed to protect him at the cost of my own life. He was a child brought into Mara’s palace as a servant and slave. He would not speak, but he would fight. He was so very young, one of the youngest to ever be purchased. I knew what Mara had planned for him, but I could do nothing to stop it. So I vowed to become Daniel’s guardian, to raise him as my own. He did not know that at the time, had in fact feared me more than Mara I believe, but I made a vow, a promise to Daniel from that moment on that I would do everything in my power to keep him safe, to raise him, to protect him, to care for him. The day I had found that little boy, who had already stole my heart, gazing longingly at that photo I had made the decision to ensure that he would lose nothing further. On that day I began to keep things for him, and Mara never knew. When faced with that terrified boy who begged and pleaded to keep a photograph after remaining so silent when being hurt by the master…all I could do was react. I drew him into my arms and held him tightly, rocking him, assuring him that his precious photo would always be safe. After that day he no longer feared me.” 

Jack interrupted then, “He became the father Daniel had lost and has been with him ever since. He even refused to remain behind the day I took Daniel away from Mara. He wouldn’t let me leave without him. Thank heavens. I’m glad he came along. Daniel needs him so much.” 

Daniel interrupted then having managed to recover his voice, “I need you all very much, Jack, including you…Grandpa.” 

Nick’s smile became wider and without further hesitation he again drew Daniel into his arms. They had much to talk about and sort through, but now they were together. His search was at its end. He had found his grandson, and while he held Daniel tightly in his embrace he cast his eyes heavenward softly whispering, “I found him, Claire. I finally found him.” 

As if she were looking down upon them he felt the tightness in his chest give and was finally able to relax. He had found his grandson, and he would never lose him again. 

* *

It wasn’t until later that night Jack could ask the question that had been bothering him since Nick’s arrival. It continued to burrow into his mind even as he watched Daniel and his grandfather connect. He had planned to ask it several times throughout the day, but didn’t want to interrupt their reunion. 

As afternoon became evening Nick asked if he could stay the night and Daniel, with Narayana’s help, immediately set about preparing a room for him. Once Nick was settled in he watched as Daniel said good night to his grandfather and Narayana feeling anxious as they turned to head for their own room. 

Once inside Daniel immediately settled into bed and Jack slid in beside him drawing him quickly into his arms. After several moments Daniel asked, “What is it, Jack?” 

“What?” 

“You’ve been holding back all night. What’s bothering you?” 

“Nothing it’s just…” 

“Be honest, Jack. We swore to be…” 

“Yes we did.” 

“So…what has you upset?” 

Jack drew him closer and Daniel sighed as he settled in his arms automatically placing his head directly over Jack’s heart before draping an arm across him. Jack smiled beginning to trace small circles across Daniel’s shoulder with the tip of his finger managing, “He said you wouldn’t talk.” 

Daniel relaxed settling further as he confirmed, “Yes he’s right.” 

“Why?” 

Turning his head to look up at Jack he offered a warm smile before again settling. As the thrum of Jack’s heartbeat echoed softly in his ear Daniel continued, “Jack, I saw my parents murdered before me, immediately afterwards I was taken, stolen away. While the one who took me wasn’t overly cruel to me he kept me leashed to him. I didn’t ask for anything. I didn’t want anything other than my parents to come back. I was in shock. I don’t recall a whole lot other than fighting him. I’d lash out at him, try to claw his face, kick him, bite him… I didn’t want to be alive when my parents were gone. I wanted to join them, Jack, and I thought if I fought him enough eventually he would end it all for me. He would get so angry with me, but he never really hurt me, not as much as Mara did. When Mara took me, purchased me I continued the same pattern of behavior. He vowed to tame me. I spent some time locked in a room. I tore it apart. He eventually just had everything removed from it. He would visit me each day, and would have a servant bring me food. At first I wouldn’t eat, then he began to bring it, it soon became a battle with him, eventually Narayana started bringing food to me. He would try to engage me in conversation. I’d refuse to speak to him. In fact, I went out of my way to avoid him.” 

“What made you talk again, Daniel?” 

He smiled at Jack as he said, “I think you know.” 

Nodding Jack supplied the answer, “Narayana, the day he discovered the photograph.” 

Daniel only nodded before adding, “I was never sure if he reacted because I was so upset, because I pleaded or because it was the first time he had heard me actually speak.” 

“When were you placed in the dungeon then?”

“Shortly after that day…” 

“Why?” 

“Because I refused Mara...” 

“And that’s why Narayana started bringing you food?” 

“At first he didn’t. At the time I didn’t realize if he had I would have been hurt far worse. I just didn’t expect it from anyone. I didn’t expect anything. I was alone, and I was certain no one really cared. Eventually hunger won out and I started to plead with the guards for food. They laughed at me, Jack. They taunted me and I decided to run… My plan was to run away and never come back, but each time I ran he found me again. Mara had a lot of connections. Before he would lock me away again he’d make his request. I would deny him again and face long hours in that dank, dark cell being slowly starved to death as punishment. After my third escape he didn’t ask me again until after I survived the gauntlet. They brought me before him, and he immediately sentenced me to death by the gauntlet. He ordered his men to show no mercy. Their orders were simple: make sure I didn’t survive. I was scared, Jack, scared to death. I remember seeing Narayana there but unlike the others he stayed beside Mara to bear witness to my execution. It was horrible, Jack. I remember feeling so much pain, so much agony. I wanted to cry but refused. I vowed to survive and…I did, much to Mara’s surprise. I spent several weeks being tended to by Narayana. Mara visited daily, even sat with me as I mended. Once I was strong enough to move on my own he made his proposition again. I could serve him or be cast into the dungeons where this time I would be kept chained and silenced. I would remain there until starvation or thirst destroyed me. I had no choice, Jack, and by that time I no longer desired to end my life. I had fought and fought hard. I was determined to keep on fighting him because every day I drew breath would be like a slap in the face to Mara who had wanted me dead, had tried to kill me and had failed. I knew then that none of his men would try to harm me after that day. None would dare raise a hand against me…” 

“Because by surviving the gauntlet you had earned their respect…” 

“Yes. After that they all became so protective of me. Several would step in when Mara attempted to punish or discipline me. He stopped that by making me suffer more when they dared to interfere.” 

“ _‘Do not interfere, O’Neill’_ ,” muttered Jack. Daniel asked, “What?” 

“Narayana warned me several times to not interfere or you would suffer more. At the time I didn’t believe him and would get so angry when I’d see no one step in to defend or help you. They would all show you such reverence, such respect, but when Mara would lash out at you none of them would do a damned thing. Even Narayana would remain observing never moving to assist you until either permitted directly by Mara or Mara left the room. I never knew why.” 

“Because Mara gained their compliance by hurting me more severely anytime anyone dared to speak or make the move to stop him. It was sadistic really, but in the end he gained more control over his men that way and they learned quickly not to interfere…ever.” 

“That’s very cruel…” 

“And calculating, yes…that was Mara, Jack, cruel and calculating.” 

Pressing a kiss to the top of Daniel’s head Jack said, “You lived a very hard life, Daniel. I’m sorry you had to suffer through all of that.” 

“Yeah me too, me too, but I wouldn’t change it you know.” 

“Why?” 

“Because if my life had been different Jack, I might’ve never met you…” 

“Ah Daniel I love you so much. 

“And I love you too.” 

Silence fell between them after that and Daniel soon drifted asleep. Jack remained awake a little while longer thinking of their lives, of where they had been and where they now were, of what their future would hold. Everything was finally falling into place. Their lives were starting to get easier now, but there was one more thing that remained unresolved and after seeing Daniel and Nick reunited Jack knew that it was time. He had one more thing that he needed to resolve before their lives would be perfect. He only hoped that Daniel would willingly come along and support him the entire way. 

As he gazed down upon the relaxed face of his lover he knew beyond a doubt that Daniel would be there for him. Now all that he needed was to find the strength, the courage within himself to do it.


	12. And Now I'm Found

**AND NOW I’M FOUND  
Coming Full Circle**

_Several Years Later…_

Jack slowly, hesitantly approached the door. He raised his hand to knock but held back, so many doubts ran through him, doubts, fears, uncertainties… 

What was he doing here? Was he crazy? This was ridiculous. He shouldn’t have come. He should have never come. He turned and saw the one who owned his heart nod before softly urging, “Go on Jack. What have you got to lose?” 

He opened his mouth wanting to say everything but found he couldn’t. Instead he gazed at the one now beside him so strong and so determined. He had suffered much, sacrificed much, nearly sacrificed himself and he was asking him what did he have to lose? 

Shaking his head he whispered, “Nothing,” and raised his hand to knock again. Fear shot through him but as a warm strong hand wrapped firmly, securely around his own he felt the strength to knock and did. The smile he received in response was so big it stole his breath, and he found himself again staring in awe at the man by his side so focused on him that he didn’t hear the door open until a soft shocked voice interrupted with, “Jack, is it really you?” 

When he turned he saw such hope, such sadness in those aged eyes and felt his heart ache as he managed, “Yes mom. I’ve come home.” 

She released an inarticulate sound before throwing her arms around him. 

Daniel stood back watching the scene giving Jack his moment his free hand firmly wrapped around the necklace that belonged to his own mother and cast a gaze above as he whispered a quiet “thank you” to the heavens. 

It was then that the elderly woman turned to him and asked, “And who is this, Jack?” 

Daniel felt momentary fear piercing his heart as he looked at Jack who turned and smiled at him before gently pulling him close saying, “This is the man who owns my heart.” 

She looked at him as if assessing him, and he stumbled over the words he spoke, “Mrs. O’Neill, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” 

She gazed at him, staring intently at him, searching his eyes and finding the truth in them, watching as her son pulled him closer and held him tightly. She also noticed that he gripped a necklace tightly in his left hand and on one of those fingers was a golden band. Her smile grew as she realized the significance of that simple observation and focused solely on the young man by her son’s side as she said, “Welcome to the O’Neill family…” 

Jack supplied his name, “Daniel,” and she pulled him into her arms hugging him tightly as she managed, “You brought him to me, didn’t you?” 

“I helped a little yes.” 

“Of course you did for I sense that you possess a gentle soul…” 

Tears pierced his eyes then as he found he could only nod too choked up by her words to say anything. When she drew away Jack was there smiling brightly and drew Daniel against him whispering, “I told you she’d like you.” 

Daniel only nodded caught off guard as she said, “Well come in, come in.” 

They did and she turned to enter her living room. Jack and Daniel followed pausing in the entryway watching as she approached a small altar before carefully lighting one candle then another. Daniel, confused by the gesture, looked at Jack asking quietly, “What’s she doing?” 

Turning back she smiled as she answered, “Lighting a candle for each of my sons, Daniel, for one has returned and I have gained another.” 

Daniel could only stare at the small table in response to that. He noticed then that the table itself contained several candles sitting before a family portrait and several other pictures of her children and their families. He tensed when she moved several of the pictures to open up more space and cocked his head in confusion before she smiled at him again and informed, “There, now there’s a place right here for you Daniel and one for your family portrait.” 

Unable to think of what to say he managed an awkward, “But my parents are dead…” that had Mrs. O’Neill offering him that kind smile of hers before she continued, “A portrait of you and your new family Daniel.” 

“What?” 

Jack smiled answering, “She means a portrait of you and I together, Daniel.” 

“But…” 

Approaching the two she placed a hand on each before informing, “I saw the ring, Daniel. The band that binds you to my son for better or worse, for richer or poorer…” 

Jack continued, “In sickness and in health til’ death do us part…” 

As understanding dawned on Daniel’s face Jack turned to his mother and said, “We had a private ceremony. Daniel isn’t one for extravagance. It was he and I, his grandfather, a close friend of his and the preacher.” 

“I know it was a lovely ceremony, Jack, and I can see how much you love him. I’m very happy for you.” 

Lowering his head as he blushed he managed a soft, “Thank you, mom, and I’m sorry. Sorry for not coming back sooner.” 

“Hush now all that matters is that you _came_ back, Jack, that’s all that matters to me.”

 

 **Attaining a Place in Satyaloka**

_My life has changed so dramatically in such a short time. My life as Mara’s prized servant is now at its end and MY life is now just beginning. I have lived many years and have experienced much in that time. Never have I believed that I would ever live for anyone but My Master. Now…? Now I live for Jack, for his mother, for Narayana, for my grandfather…now I live for ME and it’s a scary road that now lies before me._

_I have no idea where this path will take me, but no longer am I hindered or dragged along by another. No longer am I wrapped in invisible chains and forced to return to my “rightful” place. No longer am I in service to a master. Now the path I wander is full of doubts and fears but this time? This time I’m being guided down it of my own free will, led by the love of another, wrapped safely in his arms as he walks the path with me. In the end I suppose I have reached my own sort of Nirvana, for I have journeyed through Triloka, the three worlds of heaven, earth and hell and have surfaced the victor._

_My life now lays before me unseen. I don’t know where this path will lead, but I do know it will be some place wonderful for I have been gifted the love of another. I never had any plans to fall in love and never allowed myself to want for such a thing. I didn’t believe I was entitled to it, but fate apparently had other ideas._

_And as Jack once said:_

_**“So it would seem that even a slave is free to love another.”** _

 

** The End **


End file.
